|Reviews for Crouching Tiger|
| ASlaveToWords chapter 4 . 12/11/2012
Well, not really much I can say here except to bring up the same old stuff so I'll just leave it at that.
The necklace thing is sweet. I can slowly see the bonds re-forming again. I'm a bit excited to see what happens next. :)
| ASlaveToWords chapter 3 . 12/11/2012
Well, that was interesting indeed. I liked the battle and the idea of her and Mariah getting along. Those two personalities seem exactly like the sort of people who would ruffle each others' feathers. Good job.
I'm not so sure about the whole "Drigger's Twin" thing, I'm afraid that is a little "Mary Sue-ish", as you put it, for the simple fact that Drigger is one of the four sacred beasts; the original and all-powerful and all that goodness.
On another note, the scene with the little boy was a nice touch. It shows that your character is diverse; she enjoys her solitude and she likes to be the "tough guy", (clearly because she's been hurt and scorned so badly), but at the same time, she's obviously got a soft side and a soft spot for the purity of innocence. I do like that, that's a good thing.
| ASlaveToWords chapter 2 . 12/11/2012
And I'm back! (Is that fortunate or unfortunate?)
I'm not gonna rag on the same thing as last time except to say to keep it all in mind. There are quite a few grammar mistakes but easily fixable. Another tip; something I usually find helps me a lot is if I re-read what I've written before I post. I've laughed at myself quite a lot over the years while editing. Just a suggestion. :)
I like in this chapter that she battled a cannon character but even more so that she didn't beat him. Ties can be touchy sometimes but you pulled it off. Some people get all defensive and whatnot about that sort of thing, and I agree to an extent, but I also think there's no need to water down your OC just so you don't step on someone's toes. After all, if they don't like the story, they don't have to read.
In short, well done with that! :P
The end was like a scene from the show. I liked that. Ready for more!
| ASlaveToWords chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
Alright, let me try my hand at constructive criticism here (its been a while).
So far, Im interested. But heres something to remember; First person can be so hard, we all know that. One of the most important things that comes to mind for me would be the over use of the word "I". For example:
"I woke up to the airplane bouncing a little once its tires hit the ground. I gathered my belongings and waited, impatiently, for the seatbelt sign to turn off and for the plane to stop moving. I rushed off of the plane and left the airport as fast as I could. I slowed down to a walk as I let the cool breeze blow around my jet black hair. I couldn't keep the smile from coming onto my face as feelings of familiarity hit my like a rushing river."
A more appealing (for lack of a better word), way to write this might be;
"I woke up to the airplane bouncing a little as it's tires connected with the ground. Taking a few moments to gather my belongings, I waited impatiently for the seat belt sign to disappear and the plane to stop moving. When finally I was able to move, I all but ran from the plane, slowing to a walk as soon as I was free. The feeling of the cool breeze blowing my jet black hair, as well as the feelings of familiarity that enveloped me all at once, made me smile in spite of myself."
Something like that might work a little better. I know this story is finished already so, just for future reference. I say this because with less of the word "I", it sounds more like someone telling their story rather then a journal post. Like I said; just a little constructive criticism, not to be condescending or anything.
So, moving on, I'm sure you've got the picture.
Also, you should be careful when writing in this perspective as it sometimes gets tricky. Ex: "[I] shook the voices of [her] past out of my head..." Just be careful with that.
Ok, so that's about it for now. On a positive note; this seems like an interesting story. It's too early yet to decide anything important other then that so I'll leave it there for now. I know you asked me to study your character and I've done so; also too early to make any solid decisions. So, in that case, I'll keep reading. :)
| Diclonious57 chapter 36 . 3/23/2012
OVA fanfic never heard that one before. Can't wait for the sequel
| Diclonious57 chapter 35 . 3/23/2012
so the truth comes out
| cat chapter 36 . 3/21/2012
pretty please start the new story soon i can't wait to see what happen's next
| Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 36 . 3/19/2012
... Is it sad that I didn't notice the POV change until I read your last part at the bottom? XDD Well, I mean, obviously I NOTICED it, but it didn't connect until you said something. Now where in the hell did Daichi run off to? The whole reason he showed up was to meet Tyson and learn from him and eventually beat him, isn't it? Did something change about that or is he just going off on his own to learn even more, like what Ray did?
And I'm still rooting for her to get together with Kai. That's most of the reason why I didn't say anything about Mariah kissing Ray. Now that I go to the last chapter, though, we don't know if Ray kissed her back, or if he feels the same way. Does he know that Crys is avoiding him? I know it said in this chapter that it was the first time in two weeks that she'd spoken to him, but I don't know if he's realized the connection with her avoidance and Mariah kissing him.
Are you going to post on here when the in-between-quel starts? For the ones who have Crouching Tiger on their story alerts? If not, that's fine. When can we expect the first chapter? I can't wait for it!
| Aldamonburst chapter 36 . 3/19/2012
yay! you mentioned me! this chapter really gives off an awesome future kind of vibe. i love it!
| Silverwolfgurl87 chapter 36 . 3/18/2012
I cannot wait for the OVA Crouching Tiger: Summer Paradise, so many guesses I can do,and questions to ask I love it!
| Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 35 . 3/14/2012
-stares- KAI got in on the water fight? Was it because she was thinking too much again? Because that would just be a marvelous bout of irony, Kai telling someone that they're thinking too much. Is this what the sequel is going to be about? The truth about Dricer's origins? Because I'm curious now. Update soon!
| Aldamonburst chapter 35 . 3/14/2012
more mystery. hmmmmmm. a little late in the story, but definitively interesting. and just one more? wow.
| Diclonious57 chapter 34 . 3/13/2012
I'm the 100th reviewer!
| Aldamonburst chapter 34 . 3/12/2012
i forgot too lol. though i want to see the battle! go crys! kick some ass!
| Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 33 . 3/12/2012
I think that, if Kai could redo anything from their past, it would be his personality. I mean, like, he wouldn't be so cold and mean and anti-social to the Blade Breakers. I think half of what he does, he does because he feels guilty about the way he's treated them. Update soon!