Reviews for The Eye of Gods
Guest chapter 6 . 11/14/2012
i love this story soo much
the last part made me cry
plz carry on!
I.HAVE.A.JACK.HAMMER chapter 1 . 4/19/2011

I'm a new author on this website,and I really don't know much about fanfiction but your writing stands are an amazing critic and an awsome writer.I hope you will read this some day

baobabs chapter 6 . 12/31/2010
This was...this was probably the most heartbreaking chapter I've ever read. Eliza seems so vulnerable, so damn tiny and sweet and helpless and Prop and Sudi just seemed so in characters, so human, and everything was just...

Striking. Marvelous.
baobabs chapter 2 . 12/31/2010
Again, all the synonyms for amazing wouldn't suffice to describe your writing. And just ignore twirlgirl1996. I think she thought your characters were actually canons...


Just...awesome. Really.
baobabs chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
Beautiful. Original. Flowing. Smooth. No Mary Sues or Gary Stus.


What planet were you from again?

Utterly terryingly good.
wolfsan11 chapter 3 . 5/2/2010
Can I just say how BRILLIANT you are?

I'm usually not much interested in OC stories but I recently got inspiration for one. So I went around reading every other OC story to make sure I'm not accidentally copying someone's idea or that I'm not creating a Mary Sue.

Then I stumble on your story, with a very intriguing summary and I read it and I am blown away. God, what planet are you from? You're so completely talented and I can't help but love this story to death. The plot is original, the characters are very likable and not complete Mary Sues and Gary Stus, the spelling and grammar is nearly perfect and - etc! Its just amazing! And I really can't wait until you update. I REALLY have to know what happens now.

Personally I love Prop and Sudi, they're hilarious and cute and yeah. I also love Ada and Eliza. Ok fine I love every single character! Even Lucas, the jerk that he is, is completely realistic to bullies these days. And I like Kellie too, she seems pretty sweet. Natalia seems like a mix between them, she doesn't completely hate Prop so I forgive her :P

About the prophecy I'm wondering if this line, "Victory's son will persevere, at cost of that which he holds near" is related to Eliza's death? (sob)

There are a few mistakes like when Prop has to carry Eliza. I think you switched to 3rd person for a few lines:

'He' looked up to find Sudi giving 'him' a deadpan stare and Ada smiling into the collar of her sweater. "Let's go," 'he' muttered, blushing furiously.

I think you did that in one of the previous chapters too...But other than that, I really didn't find much wrong with the story :D
So in conclusion. You are awesome and so is this story and I am restlessly waiting for an update.

kaleidoscopeflowers chapter 6 . 2/13/2010
I really do like this story. I mean, really like. It's what an OC story should be: well written with interesting, intriguing characters and an original plot.

Prop isn't a Gary Stu. He's a realistic, good character. And I'm glad you had fun writing this, because this is a great story 8) I think my favorite part is the dialogue. It's wonderful and it makes me laugh.

deactivateddeactivated chapter 6 . 2/11/2010
I really like this. Prop isn't a Gary Stu, the plot is totally original, and I love the idea of combining Egyptian and Greek mythology. I hope to see more soon.
hecates chapter 1 . 1/29/2010
I like it. You put an original twist on the teacher-attacks-half-blood plot, with her wanting to eat him and not just kill him. I like it, and I think you should ignore the amateur that reviewed once before me. She has no idea what she's talking about.

*Theia 47
WordsCantBringMeDown chapter 2 . 10/11/2009
wow, um, idk wat to say. this...sucked. sorry but every1 was ooc, like, ALOT. You should reread the books because idk wat world this is but it most definitely is NOT pjato.
PennyOfTheWild chapter 6 . 8/16/2009
... *speachless* I - I don't know what to say to that. It - it was like Bach. Or Mozart. Music ... classically so. :)
PennyOfTheWild chapter 5 . 8/16/2009
*throws a book at you* What was lame? - I thought it was an extremely powerful ending - just the 'But I'd try' by itself? - it was brilliant. Don't you ever say anything negative about your writing ... because it's pure awesome.

'“I’m sure I’ll hit you if you ask a question that stupid again.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, you’re sure you’re okay.”

“Damn straight.”'

I adore Sudi. He's ... oh, I don't know. Please, please don't tell me he's what Prop has to lose?
PennyOfTheWild chapter 4 . 8/16/2009
You ... are ... a ... genius.

*repeatedly clicks the add author to favorites button then gives up realizing it's no good*

I love Sudi's character ... and the bit of humor you put in there - the census? *grins* I'm Muslim ... and it's good to know there're people out there who look at us in a good light XD

But Lucas is such a jerk! - is there a good person beneath all that attitude? And Kellie. She seems to be a nice person - couldn't she have warned him - knowing that he's a magnet for trouble?

Yes, I think Prop's brilliant.

'Her head reappeared, and she snapped something in a jibberish language. “ماذا؟?” she spat.

I jumped. “No, I – I don’t -Um, parlate italiano?”'

I loved those lines XD

One thing though. The Arabic after it - the bit that's supposed to say "Who are you" actually means "Who will you be", and the word order is a little messed up ... what you wanted to say is "من أنت؟" :)

I loved that touch though ... it was brilliant. Off to read the next chapter!
Element Wolf chapter 6 . 7/21/2009
That was so sad when Eliza died. I feel bad for Prop, and Ada of course.
Sa Rart chapter 6 . 7/19/2009



That has got to be one of the most amazing stories I have ever read. I don't generally like pure OC stories, but this... Aurgh, there's no words to describe it. Wonderful. I like how you make your characters stutter - it may sound weird, but that makes them so much more... human, less Mary Sue-ish. I also adored the way Ada stopped stuttering once she was confident. It really gives the readers insight into the secondary characters.

A couple of things I have to remark upon: In chapter 1-3, you kind of skipped through the exposition straight to the main plot. While that is kind of nice, it might've been nice to have just a bit more on Prop's time at camp.

Also, monsters seem to be running rampant. Prop seems to be attacked nearly every chapter. While I guess you could attribute that to his bad luck or some divine being making his life miserable, it might be a good idea to put in monster attacks only when it is relevant to the plot - even if it is something as simple as a loss of money or items, or a new character being introduced - like Ada and the drakon. I really liked that scene. Nice job with Ada and Eliza, by the way - I nearly cried when she died. But isn't a drakon basically a serpent, not a dragon-like creature

Also, Kellie seems to be a fairly nice person; wouldn't she try to warn Prop, or leave him a note? And as annoying as he is, would Lucas really leave a kid without money or phone in a foreign country? If so, I guess he really is a jerk. Nice job with him - It's impossible have a good story without some kind of jerk or bully involved.

All in all, this story has gotten off to an excellent start, and I can't wait to read the rest. However, I do have a couple questions: Is Ada a mortal? Is the name Lucas intentionally similar to the name Luke, and Kellie the same as Kelli? And is it really Kronos who's going to revive in Greece? It seems to me that the Egyptian gods wouldn't be involved if it was Kronos. For that matter, is it even Greece that the prophecy will occur in? And what's going on with Lucas, Natalia, and Lucas while Prop plays with the drakon?

Once again, thank you very much for writing this story - it's fun to read, and I hope fun to write, too. I sincerely hope you update soon. I'm sorry it took me so long to review at all - I need to be far more vigilant checking my email.

Thanks again!

~Sa Rart~
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