|Reviews for Dare to Dream Part I: Breaking Down|
| Ruby428 chapter 6 . 12/18/2009
Very nice story, although I'm currently rooting for Jan to hunt down Kyle again and this time beat him senseless so he can't leave. I'm off to find your part 2 :D
| shanesnest chapter 6 . 7/9/2009
Now it's my turn to scream at you! How dare you torture me thus! I was reading this at work during a break and had to restrain and impulse to scream!
Okay... deep breath now.
First we have the visit to the psy-ky-ak-trist which isn't going very well since Jan don' wanna talk at first, but she does begin to let the armor around her armor open up just a little.
Nice job on the scene with Han and the Falcon. Who says ships aren't alive? I talk to my car all the time and sometimes it answers me. Love the joke about how Jan doesn't want to be Han 'cause she'd have the Falcon!
I do agree with Dr. Bandon's assessment about Jan to Mon Mothma. Poor girl's been as close to death as anyone every needs to be, she needs to take it slow and easy for a while.
And Cole! Love him! Rambunctious little squirt, but he's great comedy life, especially how Jan shuts down his advances and the one scene! I thought she was gonna break his hand for real, probably his right hand too, if ya what I mean.
Nice segway into the fight scene by bringing Jonas onto the scene. Personally, I thought it was kinda dumb of Jan to send Angel back to the ship and be on her own. Oh well.
And what a fight scene! For a moment there, I thought Jan was gonna mop the floor with 'em all. Real tough guys too. Takes five of 'em to take on one woman. Yeah, Jonas, you're real brave.
And then, I sucked in my breath hard at the sight of the green lightsaber. I thought, could it be...?
And it is! Kyle is back!
He's lucky Jan was so groggy or she might've clocked him right then and there. I know I wanted to!
And then, when she woke up on the Raven's Claw, I was worried he might've took off, but, fortunately, I was wrong.
As much as I'm pissed at him, I love Kyle's line when Cole asked why Jan couldn't have fainted into his arms. "Cause she'd kill you". Too true!
And then, the two of them meet and woah! Awkward!
Very nice use of the shut up, Kyle phrase
And then finally! After making me wait and wait, confession times comes! The two of them finally reveal to each other their feelings! About slagging time!
And how about Jan? I had no idea she could be so forward.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?
Kyle Katarn, you are the biggest, dullest, dumbest fragging idiot this side of the Milky Way Galaxy!
Why in the nine hells of Corellia did you leave? You had her, you know you're in love with each other. And you leave?
I swear I hope Jan kicks the crap out of you when you come back!
And then, the expert cliffhanger of Ganis talking about a power greater even than the Valley of the Jedi.
Again I say, how dare you torture me this way! You are going to do something about this, right? You have to! You just have to!
| shanesnest chapter 5 . 7/8/2009
Man, talk about beating your head against a wall! Jan started off bound and determined to do as she wished come hell or high water.
Even her "conversation" with Kyle only served to incite her to go traipsing off again. She's blasted lucky Angel was there and deigned to go with her.
I tell ya, the minute Angel saw that one guy in the hangar, I thought, uh oh, this is either a spy or some other kinda bad guy.
And then, getting so achingly close to Kyle again only to find he's gone again. I'm amazed she just didn't collapse right then and there.
And then, her rashness and single mind insanity finally results in her nearly losing her life.
Man! It if hadn't been for Angel, who knows what woulda happened!
Oh and how I agreed with Han! This whole thing IS Kyle's fault. if the knucklehead hadn't run off in the first place, this whole mess would have never started. I almost hope she clocks him upside the head if and when he comes back!
I wasn't that surprised at the doctor's initial pronouncement of Jan's condition. No one could keep doing what she's been doing and not have it take a physical toll on them. And as the doc said, it seems she had lost the will to live.
There can actually come a point when the mind just gives up on the body.
Nice use of the disembodied voice! Hm, wonder where you got that idea? I loved that little vignette where Jan got to see Kyle again, too bad she couldn't have smacked, at least once!
And the voice says Kyle's coming back, but when, where and how are still a mystery.
It definitely seems that Castin Mohc was not exactly cut from the same cloth as his father. I mean, jeez, go and piss off a Dark Jedi. Talk about a one way ticket to pain!
And now, finally, it seems Jan has realized she needs to end her fruitless and foolish quest and allow her body and mind to recover. I can only imagine her talking to the psychiatrist!
If he does the ink blot test, she'll probably see Kyle in every one of them!
And the poor ol' Moldy Crow, blow to smithereenies! Farewell old ship, we hardly knew you. I wonder if the next ship will be another familiar name, maybe?
I know I've said this already, but you two write a very engaging story. I've been glued to each new chapter and have to read it start to finish in one setting.
Looking forward to the next chap!
BTW, Part 2 Chap 1 will be up this week.
| shanesnest chapter 4 . 7/7/2009
I truly do not have the words to express how good this chapter is.
I loved Han's line about Jan's temper and how he calls her Ors. I also gotta wonder if Luke hadn't been there, what Leia might have done!
But most of all, that scene of Jan and Kyle discussing how he's a Jedi now! Awh-Some! It shows exactly what began to drive a wedge between them and when you think about, who wouldn't be weirded out by something like that?
I still think Kyle is a crimson class ijit for leaving!
The scene on Tipaka was scary. I had this terrible feeling Jan was gonna get really hurt. This obsession of hers was about to kill her!
And who knew ol' Luke had such a backbone, taking Jan on like he did! And 'bout time someone sat her down and made her talk.
She's probably need to talk for a long time now.
And I was even more pissed at Kyle over Jan's reasoning of why he left! Because she hurt him? Oh c'mon Jan, you're smarter than this!
I like this Angel guy. A big strong fella who's been through a similiar situation and with his 'tude, maybe can cut through all the emotional garbage and help Jan to see her way clear.
I can only hope so!
I laughed at the meaning of "Talfryn"
And then, just as I'm calming down, you have to wind me up again with Jan finding that silvertine medallion. So Kyle's been there, when we don't know, but I have this feeling it's gonna make Jan do something foolish again
And for my last comment, Kyle Katarn you big idiot!
| shanesnest chapter 3 . 7/7/2009
Methinks Jan is a wee bit obsessed!
But considering the relationship between her and Kyle, it kinda makes sense.
I'm just worrying the poor girl is going to drive herself insane.
Do you know that the definition of insanity is doing the same action over and over again and expecting a different result?
I love how Jan treated ol' Damis, "I don't want to touch your murdering hands...", that was seriously cool!
But then her crazy visions get the best of her and nearly get her killed! I mean, jeez, Jan! You're better than this!
Y'know, looking at the scenes in Jan's mind, I'm wondering if Kyle is somehow talking to her via the Force. It'd be like him, especially if he wanted to remain hidden.
I can't say I approve of Mon Mothma going behind Jan's back to Luke and the others, but then again, she's seriously concerned and doesn't know what else to do.
And then, Holy Hydraulics, Batman! Castin Mohc, the son of Rom Mohc! Never ever saw that comin'! And a secret apprentice of Jerec to boot!
One can only imagine what's gonna happen next.
| Lord Of Anonymous chapter 3 . 7/5/2009
Great Story, Loved every minute of it even though the only game in the Dark Forces saga I've played is Jedi Outcast, and Jedi Acadamy if you're gonna count that one. If you have one problem it's that you start on these wonderful stories then just when it's getting juicy you begin another, Please finish this one (And then work on Captivated cause that's my fave of all your stories).
| shanesnest chapter 2 . 7/5/2009
I would say the story is wonderful, but the word itself is not enough to express what I'm feeling. What a heart-ripping tale! Every time Jan had another failure, another setback, I felt like, blast you Kyle Katarn! Who the hell are you to do such a things to this woman!
I've concocted a mental image involving Kyle's face and a sledgehammer!
But wowowowowowowow! The scene in Chapter 1 when Kyle decides to leave, supported so well by his perception that Jan wanted to have nothing to do with him... Oh! I could smack him so hard so hard for doing this! The whole scene was so emotional and gripping, it blew me away!
You two have serious talent! Makes me wonder when you're going to publish something, 'cause if you can write this well with fan fiction, who knows what you could do with published works.
And as one who frequents bookstores, I can honestly say there's a lot of garbage out there now. I'd love to see a work by you two!
Thank you for letting me know about this! I shall look forward to the next chapter