Reviews for Cry
Jeremy Shane chapter 1 . 5/30/2012
Good Story
Sonar chapter 1 . 8/3/2011
I really need to redo this story. It's terrible plus there are words missing. Not my best but my writing has improved a bit.
Mistress Twist chapter 1 . 7/4/2008
This is really bad! I'm sorry, I thought this story was going to be much better, but apparently not.
radar fan chapter 1 . 11/11/2004
its good

Radar fan
THIS chapter 1 . 9/18/2004
LEARN TO WRITE BETTER BEFORE YOU INFLICT THIS BULL CRAP ON THE REST OF US!
FandomAvenger chapter 1 . 4/25/2004
What absolutely worthless, insulting tripe.
It's plain that you hate this fandom. No real fan of the show would publish this masturbatory BS.
TakenHawkeye chapter 1 . 1/17/2004
Oh, a great job, seriously. I love this little piece.
Father Mulcahy has always been on of my favorites, and you managed to make me love him even more. You captured him in what seems like an effortless attempt. And this Sonar . . . it's impossible not to love Sonar. When creating a character, usually the author has to worry about how believeable they seem. Sonar is certainly a believeable person.
You managed to make writing this story seem effortless. Congratulations, that's always near impossible to do.
Great job, keep up the amazing work.
razor-flavoured candy chapter 1 . 8/11/2002
There is nothing wrong with writing Mary Sues. If you want to imagine yourself in fun situations with spiffy people who like you, that's cool. Just please, oh please, don't inflict them on the rest of us. Don't take up webspace with something that you wrote for YOURSELF - no one else is interested. I mean, think about it; why would we be? We don't know you, we aren't you, we don't necessarily like the same characters as you, and you've given us no reason to like 'Sonar', or this plotless story. I'm not trying to be harsh, but when you write yourself into a story, the lines between personal and constructive criticism become blurred.
GORE and de SQUAD chapter 1 . 4/25/2002
GORE:Eh...a plot would be nice.

The Nomad of the Sahara:You have good writing skills, but you must work on your format.

Silas the Demonic Gerbil:It's alright.

Jimbo the Blue:Waill, uh, ya maight not want to be so centered on makin' yaself the main charactar. Even thaugh GORE was in The Great Toon War, he daidn't maik 'imself the main charactar.

The Rastafarian Mole:I see yu are a WWF fan. Dot's cool.

Damian:Nice.

Orange Light Bulb Killer:The last line, uh...I believe it's "fear of storms", not "fear for storms."

Goatblood:Eh...what happened? I wasn't paying attention.

Yusuf:You have done a rather delightful job here.

The Wandering Spirit:You're too self-centered.

The Anime Overlord: I give it a 8 out of 10.

Heinrich the Flaming German Zombie:Muuughhhh...

The Raven of Death:You place yourself in what you write, yet you make yourself the best character. That leads to the downfall of a fic.

The Foreteller of the Apocalypse:And now we shall be leaving.

-de SQUAD
Dara chapter 1 . 3/31/2002
Smelly.
dontgiveahoot chapter 1 . 3/3/2002
Oh boy. Yet ANOTHER Mary Sue starring the irritating and shallow character Sonar. And now, she's not just special because she's captured the attention of Father Mulcahy... no! She's special because she's PSYCHIC! Where to start? Where to start?

Where to finish, for that matter? I wish you'd asked yourself this at the very very beginning of the fic, and decided to end it after the title. This would have been a very very large improvement.

Look, Sonar. I have told you many times, as have so many other people. Stop writing this Mary Sue. She's annoying, shallow and ditzy. Furthermore, whenever she is around, the other characters are badly written and completely out of character. There's a reason why it's called FAN fiction - fans of the series want to read about the characters of the series. Not about your character, with the series characters making 'occasional guest appearances'. If you want to write your character, go to the original stories category. Not that they'll like your shameless self-promotion over there any more than we like it over here, but at least you won't be ruining the M*A*S*H section any more.

Oh, and if you want to pass English and graduate from school - learn to write.
Guest chapter 1 . 2/14/2002
That sucked. Get a friggin' thesaurus or don't write at all. Oh, and quit starin' every single sentence with I! It is redundant and makes writing terrible to read. Do you read? If you don't you should, you might gain some grammer skills! I mean geez, this review is written better then your entire story. Work on it somemore and have people proof read it for you.
randomglitter chapter 1 . 1/26/2002
You know, it's sickly amusing to read a story where the main character is in love with someone she calls Father. So, lemme see if I get the mysterious Sonar down. She's like Radar...if Radar were unneccesarily angsty and had a crush on Father Mulcahy. (Now THAT I would read. I'm starting a petition to disallow Mary Sues from the Internet. I swear, I'll do it. I mean, I write them myself, but I KEEP THEM TO MYSELF. You have an interesting idea here, it could culminate in a crisis of fate for Mulcahy-not my favorite character under any circumstances- but it's ruined when you focus on...you.
Joe blow the radio man chapter 1 . 1/10/2002
This story had no real plot to it. I guess you would know best that it was just a lot of he said she said
I cry for you chapter 1 . 1/9/2002
Okay... WHERE DID YOU GO TO COPYWRITE THIS CHARACTER? PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN WRITE THEM A HEATED LETTER, OR BETTER YET SEND THEM A PACKAGE OF SCORPIONS! Come on! You write like an eight year old with dyslexia! Who in their right or left mind would EVER CONSIDER giving YOU that? I sense a monstorous ego looming!
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