|Reviews for Rory and Jess Together Again|
| PlrtzGlrb chapter 1 . 7/29/2009
I appreciate your love of the Rory and Jess pairing. I have been reading fanfiction for 4 or 5 years now, and I've been a fan even longer than that. I'm glad that even now, people are out there, keeping the story alive.
So, I think I'm qualified to offer constructive criticism in the area. You can call them whatever you want. If Jory is what you like, than Jory it is. A rose by any other name, you know?
But "Literati" has been the term for years now. It sprang from Rory and Jess's shared love of books, and it stuck. Big time. Even people who never were members of or ended up using it. You don't have to change it, but it's a suggestion.
It might also be beneficial for you as a writer to edit a little more carefully. I went back a few days ago and read through some of the fanfiction that I wrote when I was just getting started, and I cringed. It was terrible. Believe me. And I sincerely wish I had either employed the use of a Beta reader or devoted more time to the grammar and overall coherency of my writing.
I'm rooting for you. I really am. And I appologize if what I'm saying comes off as harsh or whatever. I;ve just been in your shoes before, and I would have benefitted from some constructive criticism then.
| mallikadhuys chapter 3 . 7/29/2009
| Jeremy Shane chapter 3 . 7/29/2009
good chapter & more please
| mm411 chapter 2 . 7/28/2009
"A well rounded critique is often the most rewarding gift a reader can give . Please use this golden opportunity to offer a well deserved praise and/or tips for improvement."
This is awful. Get a beta. Stop Typing Like This Because It's Ridiculous And Annoying.
Anyone who actually said they liked this story either has a) low expectations, b) writes fic like this themselves, c) has no grasp of basic grammar (yes grammar, not grammEr, wtf?), punctuation and spelling or d) ALL OF THE ABOVE.
FAN fiction or not, there's no excuse to post drivel like this. Take pride in your writing. Don't crap something out then post it just so you can say you ~wrote a 'story'~
| mallikadhuys chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
I think that the idea behind this story is probably a good one and I agree that writing fanfiction should always be fun. You shouldn't do something you don't like or even love doing, something you enjoy doing.
But even though this is for fun and you aren't writing a novel or anything, it would be better to see not every word capitalized, a bit better grammar, maybe longer well-thought out chapters. It would help if you could write down somewhere (a notebook, ...) what your plotline is and work that out into actualy dialogue and descriptions and such. Maybe try to really nail the characters (believe me, there are many people out there who could use that last piece of a&dvice, I dunno why but Dean is almost always an insane psycho... :p)
To Twilightluver82495, we're not trying to attack you, some people on here could've been a bit more tactful, but we're just trying to help make you better. You should never receive constructive criticism with a negative attitude. I listen to my reviewers and it makes me better. I'm not saying you have to listen to every one of them but it helps to consider their ideas and bounce them around a bit.
You should read some of the better Literati stories out there as inspiration maybe.
Even though you do this just for fun, as you said, there are people who still like to read something that looks as if some effort has been put into it. Rough drafts are not accepted online. I know I spend a LOT of time editing and re-writing to make my story perfect. And don't you want that? To hold up a piece of work you've put so much effort and hard work into and then be proud when it pays off? I know I do.
Basically, you just need to take the advice of reviewers like Vera Cobb (maybe she sounded mean, I'm sure she didn't mean for it to sound that way, but she's a very good writer, so she does kinda' know what she's saying. So does MrsShrimp something.. :p)
I myself like to think I'm a pretty decent writer, and as a writer and reader I would not continue this story, it doesn't read well.
At least just remove the capitalizations, it kind of starts to annoy after a while.
Okay, that's the end of my monologue.
All I want to say is, sometimes you should just accept the help people are offering, or the constructive criticism, and use it to help make you better. No one likes to be told they're doing something badly, but suck up your pride, and this story could evolve into something kick-ass. You have talent, you just need some guidance. And we're hoping to provide that for you, so you can be the best writer version of yourself. That's all we ever wanted. :D
P.S.: I am in no way trying to sound mean. Read this with a "gentle voice" in mind. I'm saying all this nicely and it's coming from a good place. :D
| kbs-was-here chapter 2 . 7/28/2009
Actually, SavvyJean, there are quite a few professional writers who take up fan fiction as hobby. And before you assume they're writers of work you're unfamiliar with, one of them used to write for the Gilmore Girls.
To the author, I agree that this story needs more work before hitting the web. I know patience may prove difficult, especially when you're really jamming on an idea and want to get it out there, but taking a little time and working with a beta can really help shape and develop your ideas into much stronger pieces of work. And, yes, this applies to people even just doing this stuff for fun.
The creator of the very show you're writing about has been quoted saying, "Audiences are as smart as you allow them to be." Don't underestimate your readers. They're fans of a smart series and they're likely looking for similar elements in their fan fiction.
| SavvyJean chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
Man, some people are touchy. MrSchimpf, you are way too emotional. Seriously, you are not a professional writer in this stuff. That is why it's called FAN fiction and why you are posting stuff on a website. This is not a serious thing. Let the kid have some fun. Unless you are just the ultimate fun sucker. And I must say, you give me the impression that I would be one to avoid you and run the other direction as quick as possible the minute you came in contact with me. Because I, on the other hand, don't enjoy being miserable.
Take my advice, quit taking life so seriously. I'm sure you have a lot of problems with being happy with yourself because you are too uptight. Try looking at things positively once in a while, Mr. . And offer some constructive criticism. Once you stop making every situation so SERIOUS. Then, come talk to me. Seriously, I got some midol in my purse if you need it, cause it sounds like your tampon is too far up.
And another thing, "The Great Gatsby" is no where near this fan fiction. It's a masterpiece of literature. This is purely for your own amusement. You are an idiot to think this is so professional. Chill the f* out Mr. Shrimp, this is a community sight.
Please, take the advice of someone who doesn't give a s*, SMILE, it does wonders!
P.S. you say someone who has been writing for a long time like you're something amazing. Again I say, FAN fiction. If you are such a great writer, you'd be the one to come up with the idea first, rather than writing off other people's TV shows. Quit putting yourself in the shoes of a professional.
BTW: This chapter was good. I like very mucho. Keep going! ]]
| MrSchimpf chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
SavvyJean, are you kidding me? I'm sorry, I've been in this fandom for a long time. I was there watching when the first Rory/Jess shippers pretty much said they did NOT want to take the naming direction Rory/Tristan shippers took and wanted a unique name for their fandom. Literati was quickly adopted and the fandom founders and many of the finer writers, shippers, and site webmasters since have made it clear that is the fandom name, no exception. They see "Jory", and they see poor quality writing and someone who is writing stories clearly more for wish fulfillment (being in Rory's shoes) rather than for artistic purposes.
Yes, I'm being serious. I'm saying that many R/J shippers have declared "Jory" as an insult to them.
And finally...rough draft? You accept this as a rough draft? Guess what? The fanfiction community never accepts rough drafts as acceptable. You post your best work, a final draft that is well beta'ed, spell checked, and has proper grammar. You NEVER, ever post a rough draft as a story. When I read a story, I want to read it in the best form it is, and though txt speak might be acceptable otherwise, in a form of storytelling you are never going to be taken seriously. You always write as if you're penning "The Great Gatsby" or you should not even think about writing.
Onto the story...it still reads like shouting in front of an annoying interviewer. Stop capitalizing every word, it isn't proper English in any way. Check your spelling. Don't spell out numbers like 25. Finally your Logan is so cold-hearted that it's too unbelieveable to believe that he'd walk away like that. Plus you didn't even get Rory's age right...she was 22 when Logan proposed to her.
Please, take the advice of others who have been in writing for a long time. Write the right way. You'll get better reviews that way.
| Jeremy Shane chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
good chapter & more please
| MoonStarWithWings chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
Sorry, I'm with the rest of the reviewers. Okay, you might just be writing online, but please, just write properly! Capital letters and full stops... you learn that when you're about six, yes?
Oh, and I don't have a problem with the name Jory, but I'd put it in the summary, not the title...
It's not a bad idea for a story, but the capital letters in front of every word? It's annoying to read.
| Parisfalls22 chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
I know you said, 'By The Way I Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word Because That's How I Type' but this doesn't matter. There is no excuse for bad grammar. You can type, probably easier, without capitalising every word. At least try it. I gave this a chance but it really is awful. If you want to write for fun, don't post your trash on a reputable site like , make your own website and post it there.
| SavvyJean chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
I would like to say, that I enjoyed this very much. Although it needs some punctuation here and there, it's a great concept and idea. I love it. Keep working with it. Some dumb ass people don't understand that this is only the rough draft. Even if it is not a rough draft, the basic idea is for you to get the story and what it is about. If you understand it, punctuation shouldn't matter. After all, I always learned that the author creates their own rules of writing. The only time the general rules apply are when you're in school. Some people just think they know it all and focus on the negatives. Well, I pity those people because they will never see the joy in life and will never fully be happy till they can see the bright side of things. Keep writing, the more you write, the better you get. And you're off to a great start!
And by the way, Jory is a great term. There is nothing wrong about it. It's just like everyone else says, "Brangelina" for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Or any of those other celebrity couple names. People need to not take things so seriously. It's hard for a person to stick they're writings out there. And it's judgmental assholes like you couple of people who create a stereotypical society full of people trying to be something they're not just to impress you ignorant, miserable people.
You're doin' great girl!
| KristyFinanwin chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
Is this supposed to be a oneshot?
There might be something to the story if the reader could overlook the capitalization. Even then this part alone is not worth the time. If you continue this might work out.
And please don't call them Jory. It sounds just plain wrong.
| Vera Cobb chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
Please learn to write before you put any more of this crap on line.
I mean, not only is your title ridiculous, you've obviously never learnt how to use capital letters, punctuation or grammar. Beyond that, where's the plot? The characterisation? It's not a story without this stuff.
Basically, this isn't a story. It's junk.
| Jeremy Shane chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
good chapter & more please
Don't Listen to that Moron MrSchimpf, The Fool Doesn't know crap, Jory is a good name for Rory & Jess or Ress is also great, MrSchimpf is a lame brain loser who doesn't know crap, so keep up the good work & don't listen to that loser MrSchimpf