|Reviews for Fortuna Favet Fatuis|
| Guest chapter 16 . 8/26/2012
Aiks what happen next XD
| leloucia chapter 16 . 8/13/2012
please update soon ;_; taking Naoto to the Velvet Room sounds like an interesting twist! I'm dying to know what happens!
| Ezakiel chapter 16 . 8/13/2012
Amazing. Simply amazing.
I read through this story in one go, and I'm very intrigued by what is going on here. Souji/Yu&Naoto is, in my opinion, the best pairing of the game, simply because it's those two that drive the entire plot on the heroes side. Also, the romance between Yosuke and Chie really struck a nerve. It was almost obvious in canon that the two of them weren't together simply because she was a romantic option for the player. I'm glad you brought them together, because they belong together.
The second chance aspect of this story is also interesting, and while I'm missing the fighting scenes, I know a great fic when I see one, and seeing as the game is all about it's characters, I very much understand that you cut them out, seeing as most of us know them inside out anyway. So, while I was hoping vainly (so far) for any New Game-like curbstombing from Souji, I realize that it's not the focus of the story to show this kind of action.
I was fully surprised by the last line of this chapter. I was expecting her to regain her memories, as a happy ending to the chapter, except of the plot bomb that is her waking up in the Velvet Room. I'm eager to see where this is going. Surely this will rack up her importance to the plot even more. I like it.
There is just a single small gripe I have with this story, and it's only one aspect: The way Naoto speaks is just... very out of character. While she occasionally used 'bigger' words than others, her speech in canon is not at all anywhere nere as convoluted as it is in your stor(y/ies). The rest is very close to the original, but I often find myself wincing at the more... colourful phrases. It just doesn't come off believable, let alone natural, for someone to speak so incredibly eloquent even in casual or surprising situations, especially when the only remote traces of that in canon were with 'detective matters', a field where the full brunt of Naoto's expertise and knowledge comes to show. So, if it isn't too much to ask, I would like it if you made her speak a little more... human.
On the larger scale, nonetheless, this story is awesome. Not only because it's my favourite pairing(s), but also because you play it off very well. I like how these small changes snowball, and even though I'm pretty sure I know the ending, at least on the 'fighting Izanami' front, the journey is all the same entertaining. Please update soon. Your doing a marvelous job here.
| drakenichols1 chapter 16 . 8/8/2012
Holy crap! That was...! Alright, calm down.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale...
Alright. I'm back. Yo!
Name's drakenichols1, formerly known as DarkHeartless12.
I just started reading this in the afternoon. Right now, it's close to midnight. Sixteen chapters and yet it took me this long to finish?
I usually skimp. Perhaps because there are some parts in a story, no matter how good it is, that I just find plain boring. That's my style and yet I still can figure out what the hell is going on.
But by GEORGE! This was awesome! Truly a remarkable work of art!
Now, don't be thinking my review will be all rainbows and stuff. But I'll go to explaining the good parts first before going to the bad. Hope you don't mind.
When I read the summary of this fic, I felt conflicted. I usually don't settle for fics with a pairing that has been but ended, in any form and in any way, then would form again no matter the circumstances. I like it when the relationship would form and then THE END!
But, being the curious type I am, I jumped in to take a look. I'll be honest. I didn't expect much.
I felt that once I read around halfway through the prologue I would have clicked the "Back" button. I thought that this would just be a fic that would drag on or be too rushed. Clearly, this wasn't the case.
How you wrote this was AMAZING! I was intrigued after reading the prologue! I felt unsatisfied, in a good way mind you, and kept on reading towards the other chapters!
You clearly have played the game through and through. And with how you altered the events that went through the game, you must have put a lot of thought on how they would turn out. And...I can see you also watched the anime.
And one of the things that surprises me is the pairing between Yosuke and Chie. Well...I know they're a very COMMON pairing. But how you brought them together was REALLY GOOD!
You made their hidden feelings for each other known through their Shadows. THAT was clever! Who else would've thought of that idea?!
And it didn't feel awkward pairing them up so early in the story. In fact, it made their shenanigans WAY better. And I can note that you're trying as best as you can to dial down the affection between the idiot lovers.
I appreciate that. Really. I do.
Okay, I'll be honest again. When you had Souji tell Naoto the truth about what happened VERY SOON...I thought this would kill the fic for me. I thought I was gonna drop it here for going forward too fast.
But again, IT DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY! Sure it felt rushed, but with how you wrote what happened after, you kept the two in a more appropriate level of acquaintanceship to keep the story going smoothly.
If you had made her regain her memories RIGHT THEN AND THERE, I would have certainly called it quits and leave the story. But you didn't, and I was grateful! There was still hope!
And with how you're skipping most, if not all, the fights against the shadows, I guess it's your way of just focusing on the characters more. I mean, majority of us know how the battles go anyway! Why bother writing down your own interpretation of how the fights are made?
Besides...it's more fun to fight in the game.
And then, there's Chapter Fifteen: Fleeting Feelings! Now this was an awesome chapter for me! This depicts the exact way of how I would have liked Souji and Naoto to get REALLY close!
The way you wrote Naoto was good. You kept her in character, even when she was letting a lot out. She didn't directly proclaim her love for Souji. That would have been...weird.
And you took your time with this chapter. You made sure you didn't skip all the details and just go straight to the kissy part. Speaking of which...
...DAT KISS WAS ADORABLE!
I like how she initiated it. It's because of her pent up frustration over her conflicting feelings for Souji and a persistent fragment of her memories that led her to commit such an action.
THAT is actually something I could imagine her doing. She tries so hard to keep herself composed, but I know even SHE has her limits. Hell, she can barely resist with Souji in the same room as her!
And that little cliffhanger you left us? GASP! Priceless!
I actually thought that she was gonna regain her memories. But I was wrong. It was just her...BEING SUMMONED TO THE VELVET ROOM!
HOW WILL THAT WORK OUT?! I NEED TO KNOW! NOW!
Phew! Sorry. Anyway...
It took me by surprise, seriously. I didn't think she would end up there. I seriously am curious as to how her time there would go.
Meh, gotta wait until the next chapter then.
Now, that was the good. Onto the bad. Ready?
...You got typos. I know they're common. Writers make mistakes.
But it still kinda irritates me. Kinda. Just a bit.
You said this story was Beta...d? Well, did your Betas even spell-check EVERY word? Or did they actually think they were spelled correctly?
I used to scold my bro about his spelling EVERYTIME back in high school. And you know what? HE'S OLDER!
But again, this is just a minor negative. Nothing really serious. Just proofread better next time, alright?
Next...this is plot-wise. Naoto had mentioned that she's been having strange sensations for a while. Heck, they became worse when Souji was away.
You could have made a chapter about her dealing with all this taking place at the same time as while he was at the camping trip. It would have given us more depth to how she was feeling about everything.
Her conflicting emotions. Her confusion. Everything!
It would have been a MASTERPIECE! This would have brought me closer to her character! Would have liked her a bit more!
...Though, I already do like her. She's my waifu in my file. Lol!
But yes. This could have added more depth to her character. Made things more interesting and dramatic.
Go into her head. See how she ticked. See how she dealt with everything that happened.
In fact, you could have made SOME filler chapters solely about HER since she's the apple of Souji's eye! She's the main reason why he's trying so hard. She's not just some random girl that would eventually join the party.
She's Souji's LOVE! That's how important she is to the story. She should have her own chapters to let us grow closer to her.
Well, perhaps you wanted to just focus on Souji's perspective. But I do recall in earlier chapters that in the latter parts of them, you would go into Naoto's perspective. This was before she arrived at Inaba.
But, I digress. This was, overall, a WONDERFUL STORY! I do hope to hear more from you!
And I hope you find my review helpful. Took me thirty minutes to write my review. Update soon!
P.S.: Asking for reviews is not selfish and greedy. I do it to boost my confidence. And I highly appreciate it when someone leaves one for any of my stories.
| Dirty Black Summer chapter 16 . 8/4/2012
I love the sting at the end. So awesome when the velvet room gets involved.
| Aldal chapter 16 . 8/3/2012
Im your fan!
please keep this up too!
| DerpIan chapter 1 . 8/2/2012
Contributing to the review pool. :D 10/10 so far.
| FatesCalling chapter 16 . 8/1/2012
This is the best SoujixNaoto fics out there i love it completely And the cliffhanger at the end is so good it hurts to not be able to read the next chapter.
Please dont lose hope and Naoto being summoned to the velvet room i sense something epic about to happen in Souji's second retry at the case
| Guest chapter 16 . 7/30/2012
this story is amazing so far you balance out humor romane and adventure very well. Cannot wait to read more of this amzing story.
| Guest chapter 16 . 7/28/2012
I'm loving this story! Please wright more soon!
| Guest chapter 16 . 7/9/2012
Hell yes! This is such a fantastic story.
I can't wait to find out what will happen next chapter.
| Guest chapter 16 . 6/28/2012
I rarely post comments, but I couldn't think of not telling you how amazing this chapter/story is! All characters are pulled off flawlessly (Souji in particular) and the cliff hangers... Oh, why oh why are you so good at cliffhangers! Can't wait for the next awesome update!
| Anon chapter 16 . 6/20/2012
Unexpected ending to the chapter. As always I will be waiting for the next chapter
| unknownperson chapter 16 . 6/13/2012
A big 'SWEET!' and an equally big 'Aw shit,whats gonna happen if she regains *ALL* her memories. Meaning those of her shadow and persona(s) most importantly.' I love this story SOOO much! Can't wait for the next chapter! (your skills with cliffhangers kills me)
| kazuo-sempai chapter 16 . 6/13/2012
well first of all thank you for writing this interesting story. it's freaking awesome. second, thank for for making me realize that i love this pairing. i don't know why i never thought about it before... anyway, i am intrigued, and i look forward to seeing what happens next :)