|Reviews for Fortuna Favet Fatuis|
| Cryse chapter 5 . 2/1/2014
Oh wow... is that really the bad end? I know what decisions cause it, but... ugh. I honestly didn't want to watch it because I knew it would effect me, apparently reading it was no better. At least you know you did it justice I suppose, hm?
So that's how you plan on doing things. Looks like I was kind of right about regaining their memories along with gaining their Persona, but if I'm honest with myself, my guess was stretch at best to what actually ended up happening. At least I have the comfort of knowing Naoto will regain her memories as well. Why would she be included in the memories in the velvet room? Because she is closely linked to his heart, and directly tied to his fate, which makes me hopeful for the possibility of Naoto joining Souji in the velvet room at least once, as I had mentioned I hope for before.
Though... Souji will no doubt blame himself for her own painful memory of death once she regains her memories. Not that Naoto will let him feel that way for very long. They really are each other's strength... Souji probably won't deal with it too well until she comes along though. Hurry up Naoto! Souji needs you!
I guess having not seen the bad end is why the scream from chapter one wasn't familiar to me, as it would have been obvious to anyone who had seen the bad end.
I wonder if Naoto will also only be able to regain her memories once she has gained her persona. If that is the case, the pain of having Naoto treating Souji as a stranger will come true as I had guessed. You'll probably make me all teary-eyed again... Time to prepare my heart.
Admittedly, I was a little confused at the beginning of the chapter, and was wondering if I had accidentally skipped a chapter. Then I thought you must have skipped Yosuke's shadow, to which I though fair enough, as it leaves enough of an impression from the game, though I did still find it odd. Then you went back to it, and my concerns were put to rest.
Already calling each other partner, huh? Seems like the others won't be regaining their memories, which is fine because their previous time still has an influence on them, and if there were vials for all of them, it would have downplayed how special it is for Naoto to get one from Souji's mind, and for him to be entrusted with it.
Again, this makes me hopeful that we might get to see Naoto more early on, as now should be when things truly start to diverge, as Souji has his memories back.
Speaking of the memories, I liked Igor's explanation on how it could take multiple forms, and how it could be consumed and such. The bit about them being fragile when exposed to air was a nice touch as well. My only complaint is that because the memories were mentioned to be so fragile, I think Souji should have had a quick thought about how the vials seemed unearthly, whether this be shown by Souji noticing what an odd material it seemed to be made of, or how immaculate the craftsmanship was, or how delicate it seemed, something so the vials would match up and we would be able to put two and two together on how the vials were able to hold such a delicate thing. Minor complaint however.
I also like how you implied that Izanagi has a... personality isn't right, maybe more like a conscious. The brief chuckle showed that, and I thought it was a really nice addition, as the game understandably never really goes into detail on the connections that the Persona has to their... master during normal life, if at all.
I hope that Souji shows at least some gratitude towards the inhabitants of the velvet room now that he's regained his memories. Not for any particular reason other than that's the way he is, and it can't be denied that one way or another they do help him a lot.
The explanation of how the memories worked are nice too, comparing them to lock and key, explaining that Naoto's memories wouldn't be 'absorbed' or perhaps gained rather, by Souji. Felt very in place with the Persona universe.
Other than that, the fact that Souji helped out Yosuke even with how he tired he was speaks volumes on how much their bond had progressed already. Nice touch.
Now, how will you handle Daidara? Like I mentioned before, it would be a good opportunity for some laughs, but it might be better just to do it off-screen so to speak.
The fishing part was really funny, especially the part about bench pressing Samegawa's Guardian. That's so Yosuke. You make me not even sad that I finished the game, because the characters still exist here.
Really good chapter aside from a few nit-picks. Now, moving on to the next chapter, where I'm sure Souji will be blaming himself for how things turned out previously... I can only hope Naoto isn't too far behind to help him.
| Cryse chapter 4 . 2/1/2014
I'm assuming the joke you added was for.. what was it... ToastedWhiskers? Anyway, I'm sure (she?) enjoyed it. The addition wasn't bothersome and it didn't take me out of the story or anything, so I'm all for it.
I would wonder if getting their memories back would be linked to acquiring their Persona, but then where does that leave Souji?
Souji said he already had a girlfriend without realizing it. I imagine you're going to mention that moment or have another similar one at some point.
Looks like Teddie was more understanding which makes sense, but we still have the next visit, so I can't say for sure or not that the 'past' is influencing him to trust the others more, though I don't see why it wouldn't.
You're pretty good at creating Morooka's lines by the way. I imagine he's at least somewhat hard to write.
Though I wouldn't necessarily agree with the previous chapters being 'dull', I do agree however that there was more going on this chapter, more things changed around, more progress was made, etc.
The description of the room with the chair inside the TV was good. Not concerned about the detail for this chapter.
I have to ask though, why the numerous mentions to Vegas all of a sudden? Another inside joke perhaps?
Aside from that, this chapter made me laugh, even though most of the group isn't here yet. Speaking of the group, I hope Naoto makes an appearance a little earlier in the story than usual, as this is a Souji/Naoto fic after all. However, I'm sure you know that and wish to have them together as well, so I trust your judgement with however you've decided to go about things.
I was surprised at first that the words 'Midnight Channel' didn't give Souji another... memory flash I suppose, but at least he did think on it somewhat, though I think the foreboding feeling he felt with Saki balanced the fact that he didn't feel as though the midnight channel was something bad or ominous. Perhaps both reactions at the same time would have been too much.
The tension is still building in the Dojima household I see. Souji is going to have to help them become a family again, though the future knowledge of the murders may distract him from doing so, making him forget sometimes. Maybe things in the household will get even worse than they usually do before they get better this time. Although, that being said, you show that Dojima and Nanako still obviously care for each other.
The one who opens the door? Was that in the game? Hmmm, don't remember that part. I'll have to keep an eye out for similar things being changed to try and see where you're going with it, though I may just be forgetting things that happened during the game.
Souji has quite expansive knowledge I see. Maybe that's a shout-out to max knowledge and courage (when he talked back to Morooka), as I know you had to have had those in your playthrough, as they are required for Naoto's social link. Just more qualities that make him a good leader I suppose. As long as you don't make him a genius.
Other than that, again, funny chapter. Good detail, and Souji's reactions to things seemed humanly accurate, such as his thoughts in Junes about trying to stick his hand into the TV. Then again, some reactions are purely him, like with saying that there was a steak-house.
Thoroughly enjoyable chapter. See you on the next.
| Cryse chapter 3 . 1/31/2014
You keep throwing in little tidbits of Souji's past I see. That is a good way to go about it. A little in passing will add up, and then maybe more when the conversation shifts to it later down the road... so you don;t have to get used to the idea all at once. Or something like that.
Wouldn't to live with a detective who suspects you, huh? Poor Souji. Doesn't even know what's coming... yet, anyways.
Yeah, I have a feeling that's how we all reacted to Morooka.
You're even going off little things said in the game huh? You're good. Like at the end of the first day at school (or near it anyways), the narration said something along the lines of trying to fit in. I see Souji took that to heart, talking about blending in and all.
I'll be honest, I don't get the part about Souji saying he wouldn't be here long enough to have it effect his grade if he skipped a bit. Does the grade go on for more than a year...? I know the Japanese school system is different, but I honestly don't really know how it works. You probably did your research though, huh? Always have to do a lot of research, and to get this close to the game text, you must be either playing the game again, or watching it on youtube. After all, it's only when you start writing when you realize that you need to know a lot of small things you never really would have paid attention to normally, or at least bother to remember.
I like the chapter title, and how you fit it into the conversation. I'd say it's pretty accurate considering the situation.
Again, keeping things slightly different. Good, good. Another thing that isn't as easy as you think until you try it is adapting a story. Putting into a quality reading form takes more than one would think before they start, huh? You're doing good though.
I liked when you added how it was as if Dojima didn't know how to talk to girls. Again, very authentic. I wonder how you'll write Souji gradually stepping up to be a leader, or if he'll regain his memories by then. Probably during the transition.
It's kind of funny if you consider how the Persona 4 we've played uses an adapted script from its original Japanese counterpart, yet it requires further adapting. Like how you changed Chie's line that used to be something about Yukiko making her look like she had no upbringing. Probably didn't seem quite right I'd imagine, so it had to be adapted again. Just something I find a little funny if you think about it.
It's nice to know that the investigation squad's connections are still there, like how Souji feels comfortable with them. I imagine Teddie probably won't be as suspicious either, or he'll something about how he feels that they're cool or something and that'll be why he eventually trusts them.
Oh Souji. A lower crime rate out here in Inaba, huh? Ouch. I'm sure you did that on purpose though.
All in all, another good chapter. Sorry I forgot to say this earlier, but if their's anything you want specific attention paid to, let me know. Like, a specific moment, or trait of a chapter. Atmosphere, whatever. I forgot to offer earlier.
Last thing, I still feel like some things could use a little bit more detail. The exterior of the school was good, but I think the interior of the class could have used a quick description too. Atmosphere was there, with the class reacting as a whole, some side comments, and Souji spinning his pencil, but like I said, I feel like it could of used a quick description. Minor complaint however.
Anyway, again, good chapter, and on to the next.
| Cryse chapter 2 . 1/31/2014
A women's scream... my first thought was Naoto, but then I thought, why would it be her? Then I thought maybe it was Nanako's, because she dies in the bad ending I believe. Then, I went back to Naoto, because I don't think you'd describe Nanako as a woman, and she went out quietly, as sad as that sounds. Could it be foreshadowing of her being 'killed' during the final boss? Also, awwww, I knew that they were still connected, even if they don't know it. I hope the same goes for Naoto as well.
So he recovers his memories after Saki... okay. I wonder if Naoto will come into play earlier than in the canon. If you plan on shifting events, I'm sure it could be plausible.
I'm glad that while the conversations are reminiscent of their gameplay counterparts, I'm glad they aren't exact clones, so good job there.
He doesn't consider the Dojima household a home. Well, that leaves contrast for when he eventually does, or maybe that title is reserved to wherever Naoto is.
Good to see that Souji isn't completely different, showing that even if for the moment he doesn't consider the household a home, he appreciates Dojima for taking him in and cares for Nanako.
The small mentions of Souji's past is nice too. I look forward to expanding his character as you did Naoto's.
The Junes memory flair, that makes sense. He's spent so much time there, it'd be odd for the commercial to not affect him.
Maybe people's memories will return once Souji becomes close enough to them, or "completes their social link" I suppose you could say. Power of the wild card? I wonder how you'll explain things.
Since you mentioned a shift in events, I wonder if eventually Dojima will learn the truth of what's really going on with the murders, and about the TV world. I always thought Cerberus would suit him... heh, that's nearing crack though. Would be really out of left field if he showed up to save the day though. Some eyes would pop out of their skulls I'm sure.
The Katana part was interesting. Almost like muscle memory but with your soul...? Anyway. I wonder how you'll explain how they manage to sneak their weapons into the TV world, though if they keep it inside near the entrance/exit, you would only have to explain how they get the stuff in there once. Until someone new comes along that is. Might be better to just do off-screen so to speak.
Daidara is a good opportunity for some laughs, as you could easily make fun of how the hell they manage to buy weapons from the guy.
So since it looks like everyone will have their normal equipment, unlike in the anime where they fight strictly with their Personas, I can't help but wonder if they'll be pulling off any special moves like in Persona 4 Arena. Probably not, but it's a thought. Would be hard to explain or even try to rationalize with the canon though, so again, probably not.
I wonder how you'll handle the wild-card aspect of Souji. Will he use multiple demons? I imagine so. I wonder who will pop up... Cerberus, Trumpeter, Black Frost, are some of my guesses. Probably Loki too. Maybe.
Anyway, enjoyable chapter. Things haven't started to diverge as much yet, like you said, but you managed to mix in enough differences so it still provokes thought and isn't boring. Again, enjoyable chapter overall.
On to the next chapter.
| Cryse chapter 1 . 1/31/2014
Hello. First, I want to say I love how you write the characters of Persona 4.
I just recently finished the game, and came on hoping to find some nicely written stories about Naoto, and who I now know to call, Souji. Then I found your page.
I apologize for not leaving a review for your other stories, as I planned to just briefly mention them here, however I would have no qualms going back and leaving a review for each if you find that it would be beneficial... once you have seen at least one of my reviews first however, so you have an idea of what they're like.
The thing that immediately grabbed me when I first started to read your fics, is how... authentic it felt. Having just come from the game, I noted your fics have the exact same feel as it did, which I personally find rare, for any kind of fanfiction. I could hear the characters voices in my head as I read, and it almost felt as though the game hadn't ended.
One of the reasons that this surprised me, is Souji. Being that for the most part his character is left up to the player, somehow, you nailed him. I know he was given a personality in Persona 4 Arena (which I have played some of), but I find that even so, you did him justice, which is strange given of how malleable he is. You took what the game gave you, and fledged it out. He is every bit the calm, but still human, leader that the others all look up to in some shape or form. Thinking of it now, It's almost as though you pieced him together from what few consistencies you could say he had, no matter how he was played, and mainly through how the other characters viewed him. Again, no small feat considering at first glance he appears as almost a blank slate.
Beyond that, I love how you portray Souji and Naoto's relationship. It's something very pure and special, and every bit suitable for them. Their sheer dedication to each other shines through in the small things they do just as much as the big things. Truly, it's... heartwarming. To be honest, I don't tear up easily, but you've seemed to manage it a number of times now. I could think of no other way for them to be portrayed. You truly bring them to life.
Naoto is also written beautifully. Not only is your accuracy staggering, but you go beyond that as you expand her character through events, and sometimes even just phrases.
I could go on about the other characters, but they could simply be summed up as I have earlier, spot on, and authentic. I felt the need to address Souji specifically for reasons stated above, and Naoto deserved a mention too.
You obviously know your way around the universe, and the characters' interactions with each other. Honestly, the character interactions cracked me up just as often as they did in the game, if not more.
Not everything is perfect, like a few rare parts I personally found a little confusing, such as they very end of Downward Spiral (last few paragraphs), but the characters and their interactions completely overshadow these few small things in the best way possible. It may be just me, but I also find you avoid Dojima for some reason, which I find somewhat a shame because I personally love his character, but it could just be me.
I'm not trying to worship the ground you walk on or anything like that either, these are just my honest thoughts and opinions regarding your work that I felt you should know.
Moving on, I'll do my best to be of some kind of assistance in the future, as I plan to review each chapter of this story, including this one. While I might not have the best writing experience, at least I'll be able to tell you what I think from the eyes of a reader. That being said, I'm pretty much going to comment on everything that comes to mind from the story, usually in the form of a question, although it's more like me wondering.
This may seem seem pointless because you can't answer them, but they're honestly there more to try and give you a sense of where the reader's heads are at. Obviously I can't represent everyone, but by asking these things you can see at least my focus so you can know that either "okay, these hints got through to them, they noticed" or "they're not noticing this, maybe I need to include something else to get them to notice...", things along those lines.
Quickly, before I get started (on this chapter, along with the others as I read them), it should be noted that I have not seen the bad end, so just fyi I guess.
A reset, if you will, hm? Judging from your author's note, I have a feeling that Souji is going to be regaining his memories at some point, be it slowly throughout, or all at once, most likely early on if that is the case.
At first I was shocked with how Souji was being characterized, but I then realized the potential it leaves for, and what it implies. Persona 4 is a game where the characters evolve a great deal emotionally, and I realize that is most likely what you're doing here. It threw me off, because this wasn't the case in the game, but that is obviously because of him being... less of a character I guess, in the game. Looking at it in that respect, that is a good decision, though that makes me hope that the memory regain is gradual, lest the development not be shown, or at least it being hard to show. This also leaves open to show how much Naoto has had an effect on him. During the game, we are shown how much Souji effects her development for the better, and now there is an opportunity to show Naoto's effect on him as well. After all, everything about them is mutual.
Now that my thoughts are on the future, I hope you add more... 'fluff' to the canon story I guess. What I mean is for example, the school events. Were they necessary to the plot? Usually not. Were they enjoyable? Extremely so, or at least I found so. Maybe the investigation team goes to see a movie, maybe something else happens, you know, slice of life stuff.
I also think how it will be painful for Souji if he remembers his time with Naoto when they first meet, as she would treat him like a stranger. Maybe he just feels that she's important to him or something, and doesn't know why for sure until later? I also feel like if he keeps his knowledge of the future to himself for any number of reasons, that he eventually confides in her, or she or the whole group eventually recovers their memories. Still, if that happens, hopefully he would confide in her first, as it would show his trust in her.
I also think it would be interesting if Naoto eventually visits the velvet room with Souji. After all, Teddie did and the explanation that he could be there was something along the lines of he could be there because the velvet room was directly tied to Souji's heart, or his fate or something, if I'm remembering correctly. Naoto is closely tied to both of those things (or in this case, will be, though I like to think that she still is). I wonder if Margaret and Igor would be there this time, if she did visit with Souji.
Honestly, I also always wished for Dojima's reaction to Souji and Naoto's relationship, though I understand that it would probably be hard to write. I imagine Dojima will be showing up at least semi-often, so I'm excited for that too. It would be interesting for Dojima to have a heartfelt conversation with Naoto at some point like Souji did with Misanori as well, similar in the fact that the conversation shows they both care deeply for Souji.
The detail of the surroundings seems to be slightly less present than usual, but maybe that is just me. This is a prologue as well, so I should keep that in mind.
I have some other thoughts, but I will leave them for the next reviews I will be writing after reading the next chapters. Before I move on, I'd quickly like to apologize for the length of my review, and how it tends to be all over the place regarding my thoughts.
See you again shortly.
| Takeshi Yamato chapter 17 . 1/26/2014
I hope this gets updated soon - it's a very good story, and I definitely want to see more. :)
Azure Knight of the Raging Tempest
| Zeffer4501 chapter 1 . 12/25/2013
Please update its so awesome
| Rolling Guy chapter 17 . 12/5/2013
Shit, every Souji/Naoto fan fiction that's long and very pleasing to read stops at the point where everything picks up. It wouldn't have been a big deal if the story wasn't updated in a couple of months at least but looking at the date and seeing it hasn't been updated for a year? Then expecting the last chapter to be, well, a chapter and reading through it and finding out it's an author's note that will never be changed. It's so aggravating.
This was a great story. A shame to see it abandoned. I wish it was finished.
| charizardatemymathteacher chapter 1 . 11/26/2013
I love this fic of yours like a few of your other storys. I hope everything turns out alright, take as much time as you need for the next chapter.
| Renoga chapter 17 . 11/13/2013
Firstly, there's no need to apologize since you're the one providing this amazing story. Take the time you need to get back up to speed and give us the chapter you want us to read, we'll be here.
Secondly: I think I read this story a while back when it was still Fortune no Hikari, and I remember loving it then as I do now. Your love for Souji (Yu? Both names are fine, I suppose), Naoto and all the characters is evident in how much effort you put into making the character interactions feel candid. It's easy to just see everything play out in my head like I'm playing the game or watching the anime, and I think that's amazing. I eagerly await to see how you take this new twist as what I assume is Naoto retrieving her memories from when Souji drank them at the beginning of the story.
Wishing you all the best,
| We Thought It'd Be Funny chapter 17 . 11/6/2013
You don't have to apologize. Just focus on getting better. We're all rooting for you here, so don't feel like you're in this alone, yea? I'm willing to bet that each and every one of us out here has your back.
Get well soon,
| Uraharaisgod chapter 17 . 10/3/2013
Man, that's nasty, hope your on the mend, really looking forward to seeing any future work on this if your ever inspired to continue as this is hands down one of the best FF's I've seen around.
| Uraharaisgod chapter 16 . 10/3/2013
0.0 oho, didn't see THAT coming. I guessed the memory return, but actually entering the Velvet Room? Surprising...
| Uraharaisgod chapter 12 . 10/3/2013
Oh god, I just realised everybody is going to have a field day on Yu when it comes to Kanji's Shadow, everybody seems convinced he's gay since he's keeping quiet on Naoto's gender, there are going to be so many things thrown his way when they go to that sauna.
| Uraharaisgod chapter 10 . 10/3/2013
Hahaha, had to laugh at the *Red Miso* section, that was awesome, especially since he had done it the first time around, yet still felt the insane need to try it again despite how badly it went the first time.
So, Naoto has moved to Inaba two weeks earlier than in canon, not to mention seems to be plagued with dreams of an unknown light haired boy in school uniform. So, does everybody have leftover remnants from their first life? Yukiko's kindred spirits words, the changes in the shadows, Yosuke's thoughts that being around Yu just seemed so *right* and familiar...
Still curious who the second batch of memories belong to. You'd automatically assume it would have to be Naoto's, but then that's a bit too cliché, and Philemon does work in mysterious ways, so I'm curious if it is hers or somebody else's entirely.
Also curious to if Philemon will make an appearance, and if he will be different form from his original self. I mean, I know the butterflies are Philemon, but will he appear himself? There's not much reason too, but it would be interesting to see him.