|Reviews for The Alternate Life|
| Nayab chapter 1 . 10/17/2013
If only this really happened could do one where they were getting pushed into the gas chamber and Bruno's dad comes followed by gretal and his mother and they stop this and also shmuel gets free.
| Judopixie chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Umm, I like the plot but, as much as it pains me to repeat what several other people have already said, do your research!
In both the film and the book the building's were called 'huts' as opposed to 'cabins'
Shmuel calls his father 'papa' not 'daddy'
Everyone seems very OOC, for example Shmuel would never say 'gotta' and when addressing prisoners in the camp they would simply be called 'jew'
'"Back away. He is my son."' This line made me wince, in the movie Bruno's father is shown to somewhat 'panic' (for lack of a better term) he wasn't as calm as you are suggesting with this line.
Also Ralf is a full blown Nazi, he would never even entertain the idea for a Jew to be around his son and he would certainely never appear to in front of a jew.
'"Fine. What about that Jew?"' would you speak to someone who could determine your future in the way Bruno's father could like that?
That's all the things that leap out to me, I'm sorry if this seams harsh but there was a lot that could have been better.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/19/2013
it would be cool if that really happened good job!
| Ann2shoes chapter 1 . 4/17/2011
Very interesting - a bit 'happy ever afterist' but hey, it's fiction. Well done
| FFww2reviewerJC chapter 2 . 4/6/2011
The first chapter was better, but this is okay :)
| darkwriter5396 chapter 2 . 3/14/2011
I saw the movie and hated the way it ended... This story helps the ending alot! Even if the inspiration wansn't from the movie it still is good. Keep up the chapters please!
| Msjazzybazzy chapter 2 . 2/25/2011
This is really good,
Please update soon, I'll be waiting :)
| Agent Maine chapter 2 . 6/9/2010
This confuses me further. If you have an OC as Shmuel's cousin that's fine, just do the right research.
Shmuel is a Yiddish name, a variant of Samuel, a very Jewish name. Lizabeth, while a German name, is not related to Shmuel's in the slightest.
And judging by the fact that he does indeed have a Yiddish name one can infer that his family was more observantly Jewish, and therefore Lizabeth would have a Hebrew or Yiddish name as well. Unless you would like to the 'her family wasn't as observant' route, in which case she would have a Polish name.
And Lizabeth isn't a Polish name, either.
And if she is a prisoner in the camp (I am not sure I am understanding this correctly as it was not very clear) why does she get to keep her hair?
Only very few prisoners got to keep their hair, and there were circumstances surrounding that.
I am also confused by the setting of this. Very, very confused. Are they in Birkenau, still? If so, this is not familiar to any layout of the camp as I know it. If not, then why is another prisoner in this unknown location?
Prisoner labor as portrayed in the movie was common, but why would it be happening here?
You need to clarify all of these details because you do not want your readers to be as befuddled as I am at the moment.
We are the Meta
| Agent Maine chapter 1 . 6/9/2010
Since you asked so nicely, I won't flame you. :P
But honestly, as I have mentioned to a few others here, please do your research.
If you want a what if story, that's perfectly fine. Done one of those in my choice fandom myself.
But please know what you're talking about, okay?
Seeing the huts in Birkenau called "cabins" made me literally cringe. They were either referred to as "huts" or "barracks" or in camp lingo, "Blocks".
This is a highly unlikely scenario to ever occur in the history of the camp itself (I've read way too much on that subject and do consider myself a self taught expert on Birkenau though I am not as familiar with the sister camp Auschwitz I) but if you want to bend history here please have the knowledge and the adequate explanation as to why this is happening so it is believable.
This is tricky subject matter, and while I am Jewish I don't object to people writing about it. Not at all. In fact, I welcome and encourage it to further education on the Holocaust.
I do object to the 'It's fanfiction I can do whatever I please" attitude as there are still some limits- grammar and spelling are one (though you don't have much of a problem with that) and fandom knowledge is another.
For my fandom, RvB, you better know what kind of weapons are used in Halo, and you better be prepared to talk about them in a fic.
The same goes for here- you better know about Birkenau, the layout of the camp, the slang used by the prisoners, the camp administration and how it functioned.
I am happy to answer any questions you have on the subject and point you in the right direction in terms of research.
We are the Meta.
| BlackAngel137 chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
danng. keep writing!
| Miss Ugly Chick chapter 1 . 1/9/2010
i think Shuels father should of gotten out and that Brunos father should of acted differently, yelling about that he was friends with a Jew, he could of gotten himself killed ect. apart from that, pretty good.
| finding life chapter 2 . 11/24/2009
u could set it in the future
| tctc chapter 2 . 11/23/2009
Have you guys read the book? The book ending is different to the movie ending, in that... *sigh*. You know what, go read the book. It's better than the movie. But read the original book, not the movie version. And no, I didn't really like this. Probably due to the fact that it is ridiculous. Di you know anything about the time period? Do you think Bruno's dad would just shrug it off? No! Most likely he would kill Shmuel there and then. Well, that's my opinion. *SIGH*
| finding life chapter 1 . 11/19/2009
please write more
This is a good adea and I think it would be good to have some striped pyjamas fanfics :)
I think Bruno's dad would have re-acted differently I don't think he would have let Bruno explain. Although you could still have Schmuel foolowing Bruno and his father I think Bruno's father would have been alot stricter and meaner about it.
but please continue *puppy eyes* it would be a great shame to have you not complete this.
| Mickie1984 chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
I liked your story better than than the ending on the movie. I'm glad they lived. What's going to happen to them now?