|Reviews for Road of Perdition|
| Athena Keating-Thomas chapter 4 . 10/26/2011
This is an interesting concept, and well written. I like Lavi's methods of not being suspicious when scoping out Cross' office.
One boo-boo I found: "Kanda would not bunch, and that was final" - bunch should be "budge", methinks.
| FearIsButFearItself chapter 4 . 8/31/2010
OMG THIS IS FUNNY! LOLZ i fell over laughing! PLEASE MAKE MOREEEE! i would make you a fanfiction (not that im any good at it, but hey, i like excuses ta make fanfictions lolz), or something in your honor if you did! i would even get a tatoo with your name! ...orr maybe not...that just sounds creepy...lolzz but id do something with equal epicness! like naming my bunny after you!or...something...just continue the series and ignore my stupidness and my mental issues...
| Morphine Dementia chapter 4 . 6/7/2010
(fuuuuuck craaaaap I forgot a paragraph again. ...So you get 8 reviews from me today. Oh dear god, I expect some epic payback now! (/shot) )
Lolololololol at Cross commonly meeting his employees at strip bars. No seriously. That is SO CROSS. SO CROSS THAT IT HURTS. PERFECTION AT ITS FINEST. No seriously, I have no words for it.
Oh and yay, Lavi and Kanda are going to meet! Lol.
Review flood: over and out.
| Morphine Dementia chapter 4 . 6/7/2010
Alright, before I forget - first the iffy things aka criticism and sporks!
1. It's a small but big thing; you never mentioned WHY is Lavi so set up on finding Kanda in particular. Of course, you did say it was a random shot, but in this case the 'random' seems more like plot no jutsu a la Naruto. It would make more sense if, for example; Kanda's working for Cross, and some article mentions that he was suspected of having something to do with the shooting that just took place (or an earlier one for that matter), but all suspicions were cleared because, let's say, Cross and more of his workers confirmed Kanda was working at that time, has an alibi and so on. It doesn't need more than a couple of sentences before the one where Lavi decides to look for him, easily fixed. It works that way, AND it would give a decent reason for Lavi to be interested in as it hints about what does Cross really do.
2. I'm not sure if it was your intention, but you really could have taken a line to explain just who on Earth Tiedoll is before just calling him by name as if everyone should know it. And come on, he can be anything from uncle to parents' good friend - I'm guessing you just overlooked this since it's really not that hard to think up, lol.
3. TORN SOCKS CAN BE MENDED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY NEW ONES FOR THAT. AND IF KANDA NOR HIS SISTER KNOW HOW TO MEND, THEY CAN ALWAYS HAVE TIEDOLL OVER FOR THAT VERY PURPOSE.
4. I see why Kanda doesn't want Tiedoll to get involved with HIM, but the old man paying for his SISTER's studies don't really seem like direct involvement to me. He should reconsider that part. He himself can stay LOVELY uneducated though~
Now for the praise.
LOLOLOLOL EPIC COMPANY NAME IS EPIC. It's not lame one bit! Cross would definitely call his own company after himself, rofl. Perfect.
I absolutely loved the Allen. Oh, he looks like such a sweet little angel but in reality he's got bite! Lol at his monologue about Kanda. "Did I mention he's stupid yet?" I almost died. Also lolwhat, you don't just say to a guy he's cute, that really DID sound rather gay, Lavi (also LOL again at Kanda's part - actually all the gayness jokes are epic even when there's no clear pairings, take Environmentally Friendly, for example). And it does seem he got a bit suspicious of Lavi - just like he should, people in that sphere are just as good at reading other people.
Scary Cross is scary, but no less epic. And of course he doesn't need people to state their business before coming - he can just shoot anyone who comes to his office with the wrong intentions! Naturally.
Tiedoll being a housemom is awesome too, the tea, especially. He should like totally adopt both of the poor children! ..or maybe not while one of them is dealing with mafia lol, but still.
P.S. LOL WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FIRST CHAPTER I DON'T THINK IT WAS THIS SHORT BEFORE.
All in all:
Brilliant read, and with the little fixes it'll be even more so. Well done. Looking forward to update!
| the-fish92 chapter 3 . 4/23/2010
Whoa, so much plot, and you managed to keep it un-boring! :D Do I predict some action? xD
I'm totally lovin' where this is going. Normally I avoid fics with OCs, but... poor Kanda in NY with a cute japanese little sister? Oh my god, I'm hooked!
I'll keep my eye on this :D
| CuriousThoughts chapter 3 . 4/7/2010
Oh, the plot is a wonderful idea~
Now to get on with the good stuff, eh?
Can't wait for the next chapter! Update soon. :3
| Morphine Dementia chapter 3 . 4/7/2010
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* Yeah.
Well done! I admire your ability to do wall'o'text, I don't have the patience nor the attention span for it.. Very nice descriptions and interactions, etc, etc.
I thought I would not, but I actually like Kanda's sister (though a funny name lol). Teenagers are commonly like that - they NEED stuff to have normal self-esteem, lowly as it sounds. It's all understandable. Also KANDA 3. Though the first paragraph made me seriously wonder who the "he" is, so I had to check the third and then start over. XD
Also, LINK 3 And REEVER 3
And Lavi's investigations skills are pretty nice. 3
Now then, I still don't really understand what are "Bookmen" doing in here. There's no Exorcist nor Noah, so why are there Bookmen? They sound more like psychology writers in this chapter. And if they were a sort of private detectives who write stories (like Jessica Fletcher or something), most of their rules which I assume you want to keep for Lavi's development would stay the same. And finally, even if they HAVE to be kept as "Bookmen", isn't that supposed to be a secret? Not what random people on the streets and police should know? I think they would have introduced themselves as journalists to get to the crime scene; they are commonly actually allowed in there so it would have made more sense to use that than to blab your sekrit ocupation to the first person you need to get past. Though I believe you'll explain it all more thoroughly later, yes? 3
Anyway, good chapter, looking forward for moar~
| Morphine Dementia chapter 2 . 2/15/2010
Cross as the mafia boss WIN. So fits him. Just awesome. So is Allen being his nephew, lol. Though... I don't think you can find henchmens' names on the Internet...unless you break into accounts or something, what the OC could possibly do but yeah.
The idea of Kanda doing drugs is sort of cool though, too bad it's not the case~
And of course he's a great firepower. Just how did he manage to get a debt for Cross, anyway? This seems very fancy indeed.
Cool interactions and characterizations, especially loved the scene in the office.
Looking forward to update~
| Saga of Eternal Rain chapter 2 . 2/12/2010
This is really great so far, and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
| Morphine Dementia chapter 1 . 7/12/2009
Well, this look good this far! As always, great details and descriptions. An AU is always interesting when well-done - and you seem to be doing good this far. I still want romance though. *shot*
Also, Kanda with a gun is like, so hot. Being in a gang of sorts somehow fit him, I guess.
Well, update soon, and I might say something more!
Nice work this far~
| saxon-jesus chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
Ohh, very good. Can't wait to see where this leads. Very nice, noir crime novel-esque writing style. Thanks for being part of the Laviyuu day spam!
| Shiki105 chapter 1 . 7/8/2009
Is this story going to be continued? Well, I imagine so since nothing's very clear at the moment and the two main dudes haven't even met yet. And, if this is so, then I would like to say that in both Lavi and Kanda's POVs, you're telling too much for this early stage, if you get me. See, when you start a story, isn't it better to hook your readers by showin em the action instead of tellin em the backstory? To immerse the reader is the key, right? But, it was a cool story though _ and Happy LaviYu Day!