|Reviews for After Atlantis|
| The fox killer chapter 33 . 12/30/2015
ad Hominem fox familiar ad hominem infinitive.
Attacking the author rather than the story itself is ad hominem
| AliceSylvia chapter 22 . 10/7/2015
I love long chapters!
| AliceSylvia chapter 18 . 10/6/2015
| AliceSylvia chapter 15 . 10/6/2015
| AliceSylvia chapter 14 . 10/6/2015
Oh, darn. Now what?
| AliceSylvia chapter 13 . 10/6/2015
Wow, that was painful!
| The Fox Familiar chapter 22 . 6/23/2015
Chapters 27 – 33
More shower scenes. Will we have Healing Sexxors? You get another 5 points fail for including any mention of washracks.
“It was utterly humiliating” – Drink.
Uh-oh. Trailbreaker is breaking up with Wheeljack. But by Wheeljack’s own admission, it was just a fling, nothing more. Yet I expect a huge emotional fallout.
“The last thing he needed was more guilt” – Drink.
“Think, Wheeljack, think!” – Yeah, do it for once! Instead of complaining!
“He wasn’t a human or fragile sparkling, too weak to defend for himself” – HAHAHAHA OH WOW.
Throughout the entire story this is all he’s ever been. Maybe your beta should have caught that, but she didn’t, which shows how useless she is. See? Sometimes having a beta isn’t always useful, especially if they don’t do their job.
“Why are you doing this to yourself, Wheeljack?” – In which a character asks one of the biggest questions begging to be asked in the entire story.
“Igniting nodes of pleasure” – Drink.
Healing Sexxors. Add five more points of fail.
“Had Ratchet loved him even then?” – Not at all a cliché.
“His circuits burning with humiliation” – Drink. 10 points.
“He’d been so stupid” – Yes, yes he is.
I skimmed the rest of the chapters until the end because all I could get from them was lines and lines of emotional dialogue and them patting Wheeljack on the back. But now that we are at the end, let’s give a proper review and analysis of the entire thing.
It’s usually said that women, when they’re not writing rape fantasies, have such a strange obsession with rape that they talk about it more than men do. In this case, it was prevalent throughout the entire work, along with everyone behaving wildly OOC – which is a thing that you claim to despise. Wheeljack keeps his secret from everyone, and gets into an affair with Trailbreaker, who breaks up with him because Wheeljack wasn’t being entirely honest. Let’s start off with the fact that Wheeljack, not even days after his abuse from Starscream, started the come-ons with Trailbreaker, as well as denying his ‘true love’ for Ratchet or some shit. Ratchet, sensing that something is off, also gets an unwanted come-on from Wheeljack, says no, to which Wheeljack says: ‘HOW DARE YOU RESIST ME! YOU DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL!’ What a creep. Then, after that, Ratchet gets angry – yes, angry! – that Wheeljack doesn’t sleep with him.
Talk about a lack of respect. Wheeljack obviously wasn’t affected by the assault at all. He keeps telling himself how he’s useless and whatnot, but he doesn’t do anything to change it. He cries and turns to sex as a way to fix himself. In an original character this /might/ work, but for Wheeljack, absolutely the fuck no. He was so wildly OOC that I am amazed that no one pointed this out. If you were trying to make this a PTSD rape-angst fic, it just ended up being a mess of contradictions and unintentional funny moments. These mostly occurred when there were Healing Sexxors between Wheeljack and Trailbreaker. Their dialogue screamed female centrism to me, and didn’t at all give the intention that Wheeljack was someone struggling with trust issues. Someone doesn’t understand how people work. If you have trust issues, you’re not going to jump into bed with the first person you meet, especially after enduring a sexual assault. Wheeljack does. He gets angry, is easily driven to emotion, and even after all the battle scenes (which are simply lifted off from the show) he wonders why no one understands him. When characters are not being outright sluts – yes, I am using that word – they don’t even act like three-dimensional characters. Mirage was too busy thinking about screwing his love du jour, and among the useless scenes involving salmon and the humans, I am left wondering: What the fuck was this even about?
Your forte is obviously sex, which is a paradox. Your sex scenes are laughably juvenile, smack-dab in the middle of Sue territory. If Wheeljack wasn’t Wheeljack I would have thought he was a female OC that couldn’t help but get raped by everyone, enjoy the sex, and then get raped some more. Some inspiration he is. When no one is talking about stuff...things they’re talking about nothing. No one was in character, but I don’t need to tell you that. People came for the sex, and that is what they got. Your Seekersmut fics are even worse than this, ending up having worse sex scenes than 50 Shades of Grey. Wheeljack was BOTH Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, in which he has that deep, dark past and Ana is just a fucking idiot with everyone and everything. Add on the sex talk, the talk about feelings, the oodles and noodles of female centrism, and we get this!
So, how about that hypocrisy? I found that you engage in all the sins that you hate other writers for doing. It’s an inevitable thing, isn’t it? Falling into the circle you are trying to break. I’ve read quite a few of these stories and eventually they all fall in this circle, and in doing so, end up being predictable. This work was edited and betaed, and it still sucked. It is a tantamount to your skill and the skills of your editors, which, frankly, suck ass.
BTW – you’re still a sick fuck. If you had any dignity, you’d delete your entire roster of works, look at your hypocrisy, admit that you are shit at what you do and that you could be a better person. But this is asking for too much. You are what you are. Parasites will be parasites, and the only way to destroy them is to burn them. It’s clear you don’t understand canon; your head-canon is based on zero evidence at all, and even with help, you cannot improve.
Enjoy your flames. You deserved them. Too bad we can’t have Rick Grimes shoot the zombies of this fic.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 21 . 6/23/2015
Chapters 14 – 26
“Famously invasive maintenance exams” – Well, since Jackie opens his legs to anyone, he should be enjoying it. Right. Right?
“It would be all his fault” – Drink. 10 fail.
I forgot to add all the points towards the Healing Sexxors involving Trailbreaker and Ratchet. Let’s just add 100 points.
“He couldn’t understand why Ratchet was angry with him” – Based on how he’s been acting, who wouldn’t be angry?
“What was wrong with him?” – Drink. 10 fail.
“Because he might tell everyone on the Ark” – Wheeljack knowingly ‘slept’ with a robot that’s pretty untrustworthy, Ratchet’s angry at him for making his own choices, and Wheeljack doesn’t realize a thing called ‘common sense’. If he wasn’t so whorish he’d probably know what’s good for him. Jesus Christ. What am I reading?
“Coming online and seeing you” – Not at all cheesy.
“I don’t know if I trust him anymore” – Wheeljack, if you stopped being an idiot for one minute, you could trust people. But since the author is so bad at writing characters, especially characters going through traumatic events, how could she do anything right? That’s asking for too much.
“How jealous he’d been when he found out he was with someone else” – Wheeljack can make his own decisions. Ratchet has no right to dictate him.
“Renewed wave of guilt and terror” – Drink.
“All of it was Wheeljack’s fault” – Drink. 10 point fail.
“He hated (these people) for what they did to him” – Well if Wheeljack was remotely in character, he’d actually be doing something about it. He’s not someone to wallow in the guilt you have him wallowing in. This is getting ridiculous. And here people call /me/ crazy for pointing out this crazy shit.
Trailbreak and Wheeljack scene is Healing Sexxors, and a 5 point fail.
“There was no excuse to justify what Ratchet had done” – Damn right there isn’t. So why are you making an excuse?
“You’re so gorgeous...I get wound up just by looking at you” – I’m going to need a tray for all that cheese.
“All sleek curves and strong angles” – In which Wheeljack is secretly a chick.
“What you’re doing with Trailbreaker is wrong and you know it” – Obviously not, because he can’t resist that sweet ass.
“Just...things.” – Stuff. Things. Starring Rick Grimes.
“...Reminder of his other guilt” – Drink. 10 fail for this, and another for the Healing Sexxors.
“He wished he had been deactivated that day” – One visit from Trailbreaker and all those thoughts go away. Great to see him abuse others sexually for his own benefit.
“That was embarrassing” – In which a character is honest about this story.
“Final shout of pleasure” – Drink. Healing Sexxors, so 5 point fail.
“Igniting them with pleasure” – Drink.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” – Totally not clichéd.
“The pleasure surging through his circuitry” – Drink.
“He felt guilty” – Drink. 10 fail.
Rape-y dreams cliché. Because there aren’t enough of those. And no, I don’t think you are ‘smutted’ out. I have seen those Seekersmut fics, and by God, are they awful.
“Wave of sorrow and regret” – Drink. 10 fail.
“This chapter solves some conflicts” – HAHAHAHA no. And this is beta’ed? Well, it looks like I have two birds to bring down.
Sparkplug is A-OK with robot gay marriage, because of Reasons. Yes, I can clearly see your politics had nothing to do with this.
“It’s my fault” – Drink. 10 fail.
It’s a dear shame that the Dinobots don’t save this fic. Because with all the drama, all the support and feel-gooders for Wheeljack, I would have thought this was a soap opera. Ratchet tells Wheeljack he’s sorry for being such an ass, when it was Wheeljack that tried to force himself on him. Then, Ratchet gets jealous at Wheeljack for making his own choices, which don’t make sense because A) Wheeljack is supposed to feel ‘dirty’ after his rape and B) Wheeljack also forced himself on Trailbreaker and Ratchet is mad because Wheeljack didn’t do it AGAIN to him. So among the useless battle scenes (all lifted off from the show, showing your lack of originality) and other drama llamas, it’s safe to say that you really are not the brightest or sharpest tool in the shed. I have no idea why anyone would favourite this. It’s a piece of garbage, and when it tries too hard, it ends up being a big mess of funny memes.
So Kookaburra betaed this? No wonder this sucks. She’s just as bad as you. And instead of doing any research, you pull things out of your ass, just like the authors you claim to hate! Brilliant. How’s that hypocrisy? Does it taste good?
More Healing Sexxors. 5 point fail.
“A noblemech would swoon in on the lure of a quasi-forbidden quest and swoop the poor mech off his feet” – Not a cliché. Mirage and all the others fall into this trope at the same time you’re making fun of it. I love it when someone’s work makes fun of their creator. Shows how stupid they are.
The entire conversation between Mirage and Wheeljack screamed female centrism to me. We don’t care about salmon or your views on the ecosystem, nor do we care about your limited love life. For someone who claims to hate bad romance fics and enjoy ‘good’ ones, you sure have a habit of engaging in the crimes you hate seeing others commit. Nothing is worse than a 100,000 story about nothing but two bum-drillers talking about their fated romance. It either screams female romance or a gay dude that didn’t have enough fun in the bed. Both ways, it screams ‘novice’ to me, and you haven’t changed over the years.
No research, not even for your own fandom, and most certainly nothing to tell in this overall work. You will hear more when I reach my addendum, but for now, I’ll simply poke fun at it as I go along.
Those plot bunnies of yours can be mutilated by snares for all I care.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 20 . 6/23/2015
Chapters 1 – 13
I’m all for second chances. The reason why I came back to this story is because you’re still writing, which to me, honestly, is a travesty. Let’s look at the claims you make on your profile, and see if you really do adhere to them. They are thus:
“Things I dislike: Mary Sues (especially OFCs whose sole purpose is to be the love interest of the author's favorite canon character), characters behaving wildly out-of-character, mpreg, sparkling fluff fics, crossovers, healing sexxors, TFs turned into humans and/or genderswapped, and pretty much every other tired fanfic cliche you can name. I do however enjoy reading fics that put a fresh spin on an old cliche or feature an OC that is NOT a Sue - check out my favorites list for some excellent examples.
Things I love: Canon-faithful fics, unusual but plausible pairings, subtle characterization, accurate psychology, angst and romance.”
Obviously there’s a problem. Add on a rape-centric fic, bastardization of canon and characters, and an author that thinks she’s doing it ‘right’, and we have a recipe for disaster. Let’s start with this, shall we?
“It wasn’t logical.” – In which a character is honest about this story.
“He didn’t uplink with anybody...he wanted to trust someone before he did it” – This is a cliché. The entire rape scene is a cliché, as well, because eventually you’ll be building up to the ‘Healing Sexxors’ which is a thing you hate. For every instance that this trope is mentioned, you will see a 5 Fail point. You will get a 10 for every instance Wheeljack blames himself for the rape.
Starscream wants to replenish his depleted energy systems by raping Wheeljack. How he got in this situation, I’m not sure, but of course, every villain must have rapist-like qualities in order to qualify as a villain. Wheeljack, behaving wildly out of character – a thing you claim to hate – does not fight back at all, and will continue to ponder his rape. Instead of feeling humiliation and shame, he keeps on keeping on – which throws the ‘accurate psychology’ card out of the window.
“It was his fault” – I’m really not sure exactly what you are trying to do here. Are you trying to show this as a traumatic event, or are just downplaying it for the Healing Sexxors? You get a 5 point fail.
“It’s my fault” - 10 point fail.
“They were interfacing” – Yes, on a point, but they’re not doing it because of sex. They’re doing it so Ratchet can figure out what is wrong with Wheeljack. Wheeljack is an engineer so he should know the difference. 10 point fail.
“What was wrong with him?” - 10 point fail.
“You got fragged by Starscream? Is it true you enjoyed it?” - 10 point fail.
“It wasn’t my fault.” - 10 point fail. I should also have a drinking game to go along with this.
“Talk about odd couples” – In which all characters are gay and are fine with their gayness.
“I’m fine.” – Yes, Wheeljack, keep saying that. Every time this dude goes into a monologue about how awful he feels, more and more I find myself not giving a shit about him. The rape clearly wasn’t rape, according to you, so why all the drama about PTSD? This isn’t PTSD. It’s a dude complaining that his snatch wasn’t good enough. Come on. Get to the point already. If you want to write about such a subject, the least you can do is do it tastefully. In this case, when it isn’t boring, it’s damn-well annoying.
“Maybe more than friends” – Because all friends are just gay buddies, especially if they’re dudes. No such thing as male friendship.
“He was disgusted with himself” – Drink. 10 fail points.
“He found himself thinking about Ratchet in ways he never had before” – Wheeljack just got sexually assaulted and he’s getting the hots for Ratchet already? Sorry, not going to happen. It would take a long, long time for a rape victim to trust anyone with their bodies. So much for that Accurate Psychology TM schtick.
“I thought you were my friend!” – In which Wheeljack is upset that someone else says ‘no’ to his advances. The rape-ee because the rapist. What a fustercluck of errors. Then, Ratchet talks back to Wheeljack about his advances, Wheeljack pulls the pity card, and we have more angst! Holy Hell. I really wasn’t thorough in my first reviews. This really IS bad!
“He felt like he’d lost his best friend” – Well, Jackie, you did just get raped and tried to make an advance on a guy that was there to help you. That is all your fault. Try to be a bit more sensitive, mmmkay?
Wheeljack also tries to seduce Trailbreaker, in true scientist conduct. Instead of doing his job, he wallows in self-guilt and thinks that others think him ‘dirty’ because Starscream assaulted him. Okay...? It doesn’t give Wheeljack a reason to act that way. He needs to realize that being assaulted doesn’t give you a ‘feel free to pity me’ card. Overcoming adversity and showing your assaulter that he/she cannot break you is real strength. But this? My God. Wheeljack is so OOC – a thing you hate – that he’s like a badly written original character.
“It’s not your fault” – Drink. 10 point fail.
“Headed straight to the washracks” – Shower scene cliché. I hear a ‘Carrie’ coming along...
And we got one. A shower scene between Trailbreak and Wheeljack, who more or less assaulted Wheeljack as well because Wheeljack didn’t fully consent to what he was doing. Talk about Rape Culture.
“But Wheeljack knew better” – HAHA. No he doesn’t.
“How could Ratchet do this to him?” – Because you’re a weak, pitiful SOB, Wheeljack. Stop complaining and do your job.
“Because it felt good and you didn’t want it to” – Honey, just because the body feels physical stimuli doesn’t mean the person is actually controlling it. No more than being electrocuted means that you enjoy pissing yourself. So much for your Accurate Psychology. I can tell you’ve read a lot of slash fics in order to write the same psychology everyone else does.
“It was so humiliating” – Drink. 10 points fail.
This is actually going quicker than I thought it would. I expect these reviews to be finished fairly quickly and you’ll have my verdict.
| eating lunch chapter 1 . 3/6/2015
idk what's up with that fox person (they seem to have. a lot of issues that they need to hash out), but i really enjoyed your story.
trailbreaker and wheeljack are two of my favorite characters and i never imagined together. the dynamic you established between them in their relationship was painful in a real way - cause yeah, learning how to cope w trauma and finding your boundaries and standing by them afterwards is really difficult. i was hurting for wj the whole way through (and tb by extension)
anyways i'm really happy that the story ended on an optimistic note. thanks for writing it, hope you'll receive this review five years down the line.
| Lupus Familiaris chapter 7 . 10/26/2014
HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
| Russet Burbanks chapter 1 . 6/24/2014
This is... beyond my knowledge. Oh sure! He gets raped, blah blah blah, and people LIKE this crap? What the frick is WRONG with you people? I have no faith in humanity whatsoever after this.
And reported for MA content. Good grief, this doesn't even belong on AO3! This is crap!
| The Fox Familiar chapter 8 . 6/24/2014
Are you fucking kidding me? Wheeljack is upset that Ratchet won't fuck him because he got raped?
Now here's where you go worse than Mary-Sue. Good to know that Wheeljack is so OOC he gets pissed off when his best friend turns him down not soon after he got RAPED and still wants SS's cock. Know what that makes him? A selfish, stupid, brat that deserves no pity but a bullet to the head. You think you're canon faithful? You're not fooling anybody. What makes you think a rape victim will immediately go and fuck someone else, consensually, after being ravaged? What makes you think anyone should pity Wheeljack now?
Wheeljack is acting like a stupid and selfish faggot. He ceases to be a sentient being. He's just a toy for others to play with and this is a sign of cheap writing and a lack of talent. It's no different than how the Suethors do it. Wheeljack just sits there and moans and groans and everyone does absolutely nothing. But when someone isn't getting raped, they're shagging each other because that is totally hot.
None of this makes any sort of sense and you have deserve these flames. I don't even know if I can make it to the other chapters because this story is so goddamned awful. You really have shat all over these characters and canon wouldn't make sense to you even if you bothered to look it up. It also wouldn't bother for you to research what happens to rape victims - male or female - and how all of them want their rapist to pay, by blood or by law. But what's really telling is how you don't even make an explanation as to why Starscream would even need rape, but he just does it because it makes this story go along.
That, my dear, is a sign of weakness and bad writing. You don't even try and now you're making a case for consensual rape or that Wheeljack asked for it. Know what I have to say to that?
Go fuck yourself with a railroad spike. Hard. If anyone even plagiarized you, then that REALLY shows something. Who'd want to plagiarize a rape lover? Some world this is.
TL;DR You fucked over canon, you fucked everything up. Rot in Hell, bitch, and take your followers with you.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 7 . 6/24/2014
Good to see this story has zero plot whatsoever and the author is too busy justifying the rape of Wheeljack. I'm sorry, but nobody asks for rape and certainly they don't have inner thoughts that they WANTED it. Now that you've used that line more than once, it shows me how much of a sub-human you are. Even Suethors don't even sink to this level.
"Skyfire may have been more than Starscream's partner" - He's obviously his gay lover. He should spread 'em long and wide for Suspender Striptease! Because everyone just HAS to be gay. No reason. Just gay. Because why? Tolerance. Go away if you don't like it, you hater.
If Starscream's a rapist, I don't see any hatred towards him. It's kind of natural to hate your rapist because they did take away your humanity, after all. But WJ doesn't have a problem and he just Asked for It. Maybe he should get a pair of underwear that says he's available. Who needs an engineer whose inventions are vital when you got a rapee moaning and groaning and wanting his rapist's cock again? What amazing story-telling, yo!
This isn't PTSD. Not even close. It's called Special Snowflake Syndrome.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 6 . 6/24/2014
"Mirage is attractive and exotic" - Female centrism right there. Of course he HAS to be gay. There's gotta be that "Oh, they're genderless BUT they can have both a spike and a valve!" crap, and this is no exception. Now it seems you're just copying and pasting from the show which is a huge no-no, and plus, it is ridiculously hard for me to take anything seriously as Wheeljack is just moping around and everybody is just quiet about it. No outrage? No plans for revenge? Nothing? Wheeljack must've really been asking for it, then.
"They had their work cut out for them" - And so do I. What can I grab from an author who toots her own horn louder than does? Jesus, WJ is like Bella but worse. He needs to man up already.