Reviews for Indomitable
braindawg chapter 1 . 7/27
Author's Note at top of story: "I've never understood why so many people think they need to give Naruto a bunch of new bloodlines and artifacts to write a Super!Naruto story. After all, the regular canon Naruto already has everything he needs to reach godlike levels of power. All you have to do is take away the crippling character defects that keep him from actually using his abilities, and have him properly develop them just like any other high-level ninja."

Author 20% of the way into Chapter 1: "Hey Naruto, you've got a healing bloodline now."
agnar chapter 3 . 6/30
ugh, I know this is abandoned and old, but reading the bit about the different elements/chakra natures is just so entirely wrong.

Sasuke in canon easily does high-level fire and lightning jutsu. Saruboti is known as the professor and god of shinobi partly because he trained himself to be able to use all FIVE main elements.

Anyone can do any jutsu of any level if they have enough chakra and practice enough. Naruto's wind nature means he can more easily do wind jutsu, and the chakra nature/shaping exercises are so he can shape/use wind jutsu and wind chakra without hand signs. But he could learn to do a bunch of any elemental jutsu without EVER doing those exercises to cut a leaf or whatever.
Guest chapter 10 . 1/25
AAahahahahahaha I noticed the hymen thing and went "hmm, isn't the first blood important in rituals...?" and then it turned out to be! Poor Kyuubi.
Sheaman chapter 12 . 1/23
It's a shame you apparently decided not to try to finish this story after all.

Oh well, it was still a fun reread.
Mernom chapter 2 . 12/2/2020
There's no Naruto. There's only the Hive Mind.
Guest chapter 1 . 10/23/2020
Just for saying that canon naruto is op... I will give you follow fav
avidnarutofan chapter 12 . 7/10/2020
Please continue.
Ranmaleopard chapter 12 . 6/29/2020
This is just really interesting and I can't wait to see what happens next. I eagerly await your next enjoyable chapter. Please continue
Mattroxursoul chapter 1 . 6/20/2020
Good chapter. I agree that it is easy to make a super Naruto with what he has already. I don't mind if someone toys with the formula though. Like if someone wants to do Naruto with a bloodline I think its fine if they limit his canon abilities. If mokuton is that powerful than should avoid mass shadow clone wind enhanced rasengan. Should not give him all his base power with super eyes or something though.
rswknight chapter 12 . 4/15/2020
THis is one of my all time fav unfinished fics. Great story, would love to see where it goes
NazgulBelserion chapter 7 . 1/28/2020
This Naruto is smart however its so dumb how noone ever thinks hey that Edo tensei jutsu can be really fkin helpful just bring back some Seal master uzumakis and done
Guest chapter 9 . 12/19/2019
The third's INEPT, that much has been established (in a LOT of stories).. He just is, the reason for MOST of naruto's problems, is laid at his feet.. He's INCOMPETENT! Danzo isn't going to make a move against naruto, to do so is not only his death knell, it's also putting a STAKE through his dreams! Nobody gives a rat's ass about sasuke (other then sakura and maybe naruto..that's actually STATED) There is nobody that actually cares if he lives or dies (and if you make naruto NORMAL... aka NOT kishi, he doesn't either). There isn't a civilian council (THAT'S JUST STUPID on EVERY LEVEL) I dunno if all these things make the village less "dramatic" but they DO make it look a lot more SANE! Most of the time I shake my head at stories, and think "IT WOULD NEVER HAVE MADE IT THIS LONG"... Which it wouldn't. Think about it, between danzo trying to get power, the hokage supposedly having it, the councils trying to control things and the elders of all the clans trying to control them, the village would RIP ITSELF TO PIECES! No ninja would know who in the hell to "obey". It's bad writing. It's VOMITS storytelling, it just SUCKS all around. CUTE IDEA, what with "democracy" and all, but it doesn't work on a militaristic world! It ameliorates just HOW incompetent the third is... But again, it's not feasible.. He really IS that inept at his job!
Guest chapter 9 . 12/19/2019
FF STUPIDITY... A "civilian council" exists.. There is ONLY Hourinma and Koharu that's IT, that's ALL THAT EXISTS in canon. Danzo was FIRED after the uchiha thing... there is NOBODY else... 2. Hyuuga elders mean ANYTHING... Hiashi handled that in canon as well and basically told them that they mean nothing, their voices amounted to NOTHING and they didn't matter. How this gets messed up in ff when it was DONE ON SCREEN is beyond me. 3. sasuke meaning so much. While I get this can be misconstrued due to him getting the gary stu treatment, danzo sent sai TO KILL HIM... He doesn't mean jack to any character BUT naruto in canon (why is still kinda a mystery) 4. Naruto wasn't beaten/abused, just ignored all his life, if he WAS beaten/abused then the fox would have been let out and canon would be a "dark naruto" story...DUH. ALL of this is pretty "COMMON SENSE" type stuff, I dunno why so many authors have a problem with it.
Guest chapter 9 . 12/19/2019
See I never understood making naruto's enemies at home... In konoha... It makes NO SENSE at all, Everyone HAD to know minato and kushina... So the smarter ones KNOW who naruto is. (the third's line of BS is as thin as nose hair, NOBODY actually buys his garbage). So they WOULDN'T make him an enemy, it's kinda one of the problems of putting the "hidden prince" in the very city his parents were in... and making all parties involved HIGH-PROFILE... It doesn't WORK logistically.

While I commend you on getting published with amazon... You really need to work on character development and less OCS.. I mean you have a UNIVERSE of people to draw from in this tale, Canon did several DOZEN "one and done" characters that could be used... But you abandoned them for OCs..WHY? AGAIN like most ff authors your trying to breathe life into something THAT HAS NONE (other then the fights..Canon naruto FALLS APART... It was more or less a tale that HURRIED THEM TO THE FIGHTS... Without those, the story BROKE DOWN quick. Wanna know why everyone acted like a moron? BECAUSE THEY WERE.. Wanna know why NONE of their motives made sense? Because they were never supposed too.. IT WAS ALL ABOUT getting to the fights. The super powered fights were the GLUE that held it all together.. It was WHY it exists as a genre... Take the fights OUT? It really doesn't have a leg to stand on! Kinda like dbz or yu-yu hakushio. Remove the fights? The story is pretty THIN (to be generous). U build a naruto STORY that doesn't have those (or has them just as a side thought) Then you gotta build one from the GROUND UP, and forget canon all together.

Case in point.. Why is naruto loyal to the leaf? He has no real REASON to be... He seemingly KNOWS his father and mother when he meets them (the last movie even states he gets a scarf from his mom)... With NO fanfare. But the village has systematically DESTROYED his name and clan.. So why would he be loyal?

Sasuke and him are SUPPOSEDLY best friends, but WHY? Sasuke has the vocab skills of a 2 year old.. with the social skills to match, how had they EVER bonded? Not only that, but in general though out the "missions" sasuke more or less does NOTHING. Yet by shippuden were expected to believe that naruto would abandon his "dream" and all his other friends JUST to "somehow" help some idiot that doesn't want helped? (logic plot hole)

Obitedo with ONE eye, mind you, somehow in a decade became powerful enough to be the next "madara" when the clan head and ALL OF THE CLAN PUT TOGETHER couldn't even send up a SIGNAL FLARE when they were killed?

Nobody burying all these uchiha NOTICED that they were ALL MISSING THEIR EYEBALLS? That didn't send up ONE ALARM BELL? You'd THINK someone would have "noticed" that, or at least sasuke would have noticed his mom and dad didn't have EYES during the funeral!

(they would have HAD to be transplanted EARLY otherwise their just dead in BEFORE the BURIAL)This isn't even stupidity like ff writers make (councils..etc..) this is ACTUAL canon garbage that SHOULD have been addressed. And all that's just CHAPTER 1.. IT GETS WORSE the further it goes!
Guest chapter 9 . 12/3/2019
See I never understood making naruto's enemies at home... In konoha... It makes NO SENSE at all, Everyone HAD to know minato and kushina... So the smarter ones KNOW who naruto is. (the third's line of BS is as thin as nose hair, NOBODY actually buys his garbage). So they WOULDN'T make him an enemy, it's kinda one of the problems of putting the "hidden prince" in the very city his parents were in... and making all parties involved HIGH-PROFILE... It doesn't WORK logistically.

A couple of reasons in naruto canon for doing so: 1. Naruto never interacted with ANY of the clan heads, they never saw him and he never talked with ANY of them. 2. He was hardly ever in the village, 99% of the series is spent OUTSIDE of konoha. 3. The clan heads never INTERFERED WITH ANYTHING naruto was doing! (hint, hint on this one). 4. naruto was never serious or smart NOR dressed like either of them, NOW?.. You've broken all those. 4. The village's clan's authority and influence extended to the walls of konoha AND THAT'S IT. (no assassins, spies or anything else) and did NOT cover ninja duties. ANY of these things get broken, and the whole "secret" becomes kinda outdated. (not to mention, it becomes a warring place of clans not a village... AGAIN as I have said... SEVERAL TIMES, even koharu and danzo are NOT going to go along with hiashi in this one, it destabilizes the village... and for all their war-mongering, they ARE patriots first and foremost, even more important then their LIVES! In fact danzo, might see hiashi as more of a "problem" to stability and get RID of him).
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