|Reviews for Sunrise|
| Gathering the Roses chapter 3 . 2/21
Count me in as a new Vi/Cia shipper )
I freakin love your stories!
| hayatefan chapter 3 . 4/24/2014
Unlike some of the earlier reviews, I think Lutecia's reactions and 'angst' are just perfect. Given what you have her do, I couldn't respect her if she was any less conflicted. I have trouble enough given that you have them raping and torturing, and killing innocents, not just being sexually manipulative and killing probable criminals without trial.
Vivio seemed good too.
Nanoha felt off to me somehow. Not her general moral outrage, but something about the execution. Then again the "Nanoha as overprotective mama-bear" has never worked for me in this series; a girl who was fighting and expecting her mother's blessing to disappear mysteriously and indefinitely at 9 shouldn't be so hung up about her teen daughter having sex with a loved one.
I have no problem with killing-averse 'military' TSAB. That's canon and part of what I love about Mid-childa. Non-lethal weaponry and all, plus TSAB seems a magical Starfleet, with gendarmerie (militarized police force, kind of) and coast guard functions rolled in.
| Deuce-MS chapter 1 . 3/9/2014
| Gateman chapter 2 . 9/22/2013
You know what bothered me about this story? Of all things, it was that Chrono was the head of Lutecia's division without waves having already been stirred between the Takamachi's and Haralowns. Other than that, the rawness was rather raw. Overall, I find myself liking the Shadowverse more than I thought I would. It might not be a bad idea to collect the stories though.
I hope the medical institution did right by your friend's relative. Sorry to hear that.
| Andmeuths chapter 3 . 2/20/2011
I am impressed by this story . Like stories of this calibre , it's well written and has an easily followed prosed . Additionally , you are really good at making the reader sympathize with your characters , to really bringing them to life.
Your portrayal of Lutecia is spot on , in my opinion . A girl , who for essential intents and purpose was a Child Soldier from an astonishingly early age is probably one severely scared . I suspect in a way , Lutecia needed to throw herself into situations like this - other lifes were just too alien for her to really cope. It's probably reflective of her great mental strength that she isn't a psychopath by this stage.
Speaking of which , is Lutecia a Device Meister , and a knowledgeable Historian , as in Vivid ? Even if Lutecia was to leave the Shadows , there's probably alot of other fields that could use her talents . I can forsee her as an artificer and designer of Intelligence Devices and maybe even Unisions if she left the Shadows . She could follow the same path as Yuuno , in many ways . An archivist and Academic specializing in Device Construction , and Belkan Era history , just as Yuuno is a specialist in Archaeology. Professor Lutecia has a nice ring to it (.
| Salnar chapter 1 . 9/22/2009
The Vivio-Nanoha scene was written very well. It's reasonable.
| DezoPenguin chapter 3 . 8/27/2009
It still feels weird reviewing this fic, particularly this chapter. I mean, I pretty well reviewed most of it already on a per-sentence basis, heh...
That being said, this is the first time I've had the chance to see it as an entire work, and I've got to say, it looks even better as a forest than it did as trees. I love how they play off each other, how Nanoha finds herself at her wit's end. I also enjoy the parallels there, with Lutecia acting in the role of Fate (with dark secrets that are making her suffer) and Vivio in the role of Nanoha (hellbent on getting to the truth regardless of what stands in her way). I also like how the story functions as Vivio's coming-of-age moment, where she's forced to wake up to the fact that the adult world isn't necessarily a pretty place full of easy answers and where Mama can make all the bad things go away. Of course, it's also a place where Vivio, with her own will, can accomplish good things and find her own answers.
I agree with pretty much everyone here in saying that despite your poking the audience with a stick in your closing Author's Note, this isn't an ending. It's an ending to the *story*, but not to the *series* as a whole. After all, as TheShinySword noted, Lutecia tends to get pretty emo over the whole Shadow business-and there's a very good reason for that, because both "Shadow" and this fic together take place within the span of a single day in which Lutecia is having a work-related breakdown. Her relationship has made some significant strides, of course, but the question of her feelings about her job and her future is still out there. She's in the middle of a crisis of conscience, and where she goes from here is an open question.
In that respect, the story is half-told. "Sunrise" is ultimately about Vivio, not Lutecia. Vivio's the one who learns, grows, faces decisions, and makes choices about who she is, who she believes, and what her relationship means to her. Lutecia mostly just holds up her feelings and watches others react *to* them, but she herself is largely at the same place as she was at the start of the story, except that now she knows that she has someone to go home to who'll accept her. Maybe that means that she has to jettison her path in life, or maybe it means that she can better accept the idea of being a Shadow now that she knows it isn't driving Vivio away (indeed, the way that Lutecia played "Cia" for Vivio and the others suggests to me that she herself viewed her work more harshly than they necessarily would have done. Even Nanoha object more to the concept of the TSAB *having* this kind of section as a matter of policy than she has any kind of *personal* anger towards Lutecia...well, when she's not being Mama Bear).
So yes, you do need to write that next story. This series has gone on far too long and far too *well* to leave it hanging!
But as for "Sunrise," I have to say that I'm really happy with how all the hard work you did turned out (part of the fun of being the beta is knowing just how much blood you sweated over this, especially the last chapter). Watching Vivio and her family come to terms with Lutecia's secret has been very enjoyable, often poignant, occasionally humorous, and left me with a smile.
| Honulicious chapter 3 . 8/27/2009
yea yea! great last chapter. it was well written and went really smoothly. i'm glad they got a happy ending despite cia going off to meditation camp :P
| Tabasc0 chapter 3 . 8/27/2009
Nice job. I was curious to see the payoff from all the tension building in the first two chapters, and you delivered.
Any near future plans of the required time skip homecoming scene?
| The Shiny Sword chapter 3 . 8/26/2009
Now I'm going to preface what I'm about to say with I love your VixCia series and don't think you can get away with not giving them a reunion sometime in the future. (Don't think I didn't see what you did there o' sneaky one.) It's a good end but every end needs an epilogue. (if you wanna make it ASexclusive or maybe just shiny exclusive i'm fine with that ;) )
Now for the tougher part. I've never agreed quite with the shadow deal. No, not that I don't think it should exist (In my own branch of fanon I give the investigators similar jobs). More of I've never agreed with Lutecia's ANGST. I really really really want to slap her. Yes I get that she's "hurt" and "wounded" but her blocks of text feel like major whining and I want Vivio to just punch her and say "SHUT UP" (which she did to a lesser extent I guess, she has the patience of a saint (ha ha ha)). It's like this, I think it would have been fine if Lutecia had angsted once. But because every. single. time. the Shadows are mentioned she goes on an emo escapade about "How she believes in what she's doing but she's morally conflicted".
While I'm on that subject that is another thing I feel... lacked. If this is something Lutecia truly, honestly believed in, which for all she's done it'd really have to be, then I don't think, she'd give it up. I believe she could, given time but I don't feel like we got to see the catalyst, maybe the boiling point with Nanoha but that's it. It leaves me feeling... Lutecia's incomplete, which she is you end before her character arc genuinely begins. There's nothing wrong with that but as a reader I'm bothered. The truth is maybe it should have been longer actually... I think it's a story that should have been told in more than 3 parts.
Despite all that I really did like it . I'll end by saying that I'm envious of your writing technique. I wish I was that good. Ha ha ha. Keep writing and I'll keep watching.
| asakura89 chapter 3 . 8/26/2009
What can I say? This is brillant! I wasn't expecting an update so soon after your previous reply. It just totally brightened my day. Thank you! _
Overall this chapter was very well done considering the raw emotions involved and there was enough humour in it to keep the intense situation lighter (otherwise I would have to hold my breath for the whole duration of reading the chapter. haha. Yes, that was how intese the plot was!). The actions of the characters were very believable and with the right amount of sentimentality for Vivio (I'm glad she didn't end up crying) and Lutecia (crying in this situation fits perfectly. I'm semi baffled by why in other fanfics, a character could be happy enough to cry for being confessed, specifically Shizuru and Natsuki fics. I just don't believe their personality calls for it.). Wonderful story, 9/10!
This 1 mark deduction is for leaving the story with an open-ending. Now I'm really curious to know what happens when Lucetia finally figures herself out and when she returns. On that note then, I do hope you're going to write a sequel; it doesn't have to be a direct sequal just a sequel that shows more of Vivio and Lutecia's relationship. They must eventually get together, right? and Nanoha's reactions, etc.
A little help though, I'm a little confused about Lutecia's feelings. She kind of shifted back and forth on her beliefs. Is this to show her confusion about her job and ideals? One moment she says she believes what she does, the next moment she says she doesn't like what she saw about herself.
And for improvments, there's a couple typos that you could fix quickly when you have the time. "Lutecia blinked before she fell back against the 'cough' with a groan, rubbing her eyes." and I think you're missing something in this sentence;it's awkward: "'I didn’t tell you about my business as a Shadow to cause all out war between you and Nanoha-san.'"
Thanks again for completing this great fic! VivoxCia forever _
| Fenruer Inthun chapter 3 . 8/26/2009
Wanted to review the other chapters but meh, real life. Man, i am slow at reviewing good things T.T.
Regardless lets review this chapter. Warning though. Rambling and personal interpretation of the events ahead. That being said...
Okay so we start with what one could call the climatic phase of the story which is the confrontation of the lovers.
It starts as one would expect, trying to avoid the bad things that are going to happen.
Then comes the external problem, which was the plot of the last chapter so is more of a closure to that, okay.
Morality or the lack of it in what Lutecia does, again. And the dead partner, yeah.
Then there is survivors guilt or whatever is called, which considering her initial behaviour and development in this series is quite fitting.
And the trouble starts. Being Nanohas daughter Vivio seems to get pissed at the lack of trust. Cant remember if you had already used this, but it is logical.
Stuff about trust and love and whatnot. Excuse me while i look to the other side.
And she is leaving to think her life. A trip to discover one-self. And the tempation of an 18-year old Vivio *nods*
Also, "Nothing naughty happened..." is what i wasnt thinking that would happen but meh, feels "right" i suppose.
So the overall view about the whole series is that i liked the "darker" mood that you tried and suceeded to write. Also that Lute-lute is given a spotlight. That they actually earned the happy ending, though too happy so it wouldnt clash with the mood.
And is this going to be like the last time you write about this series? A shame really but hey one must move on an such.
| Nanya chapter 3 . 8/26/2009
That... That was good. Too bad it's at the end.
But, yes, if Lutecia doesn't take a break... Poor girl...
...Why do I feel as if Vivio would wait as long as needed for her to rediscover herself?
| Fuyu no Sora chapter 2 . 8/1/2009
Sorry for taking such a long time for the review I promised, but it's the first time I've read something like this with a head-splitting headache and I needed some time to digest it before being able to give you a proper response instead of a typical "I'm simply speechless..." kind of answer .~
I don't see why she actually blames herself for the entire incident. She wasn't even idirectly responsible for it, seeing that her department only asked for the cooperation of a man and it was he who chose to kill himself off plus his wife and three children. That blood is not on her hands and she should in no way feel responsible for it.
Lutecia running off to work for a different branch would cut her efficiency down around 70%, if only because of the instinct to kill she has acquired over the years as a Shadow. She'd have to check herself constantly, have to mind her moves, question her own actions and the lethality of her skills, putting an enormous drawback that could possibly cost her life in a confrontation. In a fight you need to concentrate completely, not keep worrying constantly about if you're going to kill your target or not.
Out of my own experience, I can say that thinking can truly be a dangerous pastime, especially if it leads to where Lutecia's thoughts seem to be taking her. She seems to be unhealthily concerned about her job. Sure, it's not pretty, but hey, she said so herself: She tracks down, she flirts and extracts information from her targets. Ultimately she kills but only in self-defense, which is a justifiable act,no matter what kind of moral code you are operating under, or under orders, which is not truly her fault and, which I'm supposing is directed by superiors who judge the situation before issuing any actions to be taken, be it arrest or assassination. As for the innocent people getting caught up, that is something that simply cannot be helped. In any law system, innocents will end up being involved, be it directly or indirectly, especially when we're talking about military actions. If a case is handed to the military, it usually means that it's already beyond what the police can do, thereby signifying the need for actions greater than the extent of the 'soft' hand the police use. This, though, marks the difference: “I never said I enjoyed doing it, did I?” Lutecia snapped, and the flash of temper in her usually calm red eyes had Nanoha blinking. “I damn well don’t get any pleasure from killing and torturing, even when the targets deserve it in the eyes of society and the law. I know in the long run our work does good, and it’s something I agree with. Doesn’t mean I have to agree with the methods.” That in and of itself is more of a statement than anything else. She understand that there's a line between doing the work and enjoying the work. If nothing else, it should be a small comfort to her; she's not mentally unstable and she doesn't feel any pleasure from torturing and/or killing, and while it's understandable that she'd have doubts about her job and of herself, her concerns are very disturbing... It's as if she knows where the line is but knows and at the same time doesn't know whether she stands before or after said line...
I'm glad to see that you still managed to squeeze a bit of humor despite the dark nature of the story. Lutecia is quite right in saying that it'd be terrible if she lost the ability to laugh at herself and her job. That line and the scoreboard one, were truly priceless.
I question the naïveté that the TSAB seems to be operating under in here. True, they might carry a certain set of beliefs, but my understanding is that, beliefs or not, the TSAB is the army, military. They should most certainly be used to the idea of killing their targets. If you go out there, you know there's a chance of it ending up on a 'kill or be killed' situation, and of getting innocents caught up in the crossfire. Maybe it's not the best of things, but everyone knows there's a possibility of it happening somewhere along the line.
I'm also slightly surprised at Nanoha's reactions in here. She, better than anyone, should understand that a person's line of work doesn't define that person's character. Yes, her motherly instincts clouded her better judgment, and the reputation of the Shadow department doesn't exactly help either, but in this universe, her own reputation is clearly stated and she should be able to sympathize if in the slightest. Her questioning Lutecia's honesty and decency as a person is slightly unusual and I can only fit it into the current circumstance by taking into consideration her fear of her daughter's precarious situation in this, her dislike of Shadows and the setting as a whole.
Phew... that took a long time. Anyways, those are some of my thoughts. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense, but... yeah ;
I'm waiting impatiently until the next chapter! Thanks for the good read though
| jai-kun chapter 2 . 7/27/2009
This one is just charged with emotions, isn't it? You have brought some nice ambiguities to light (Vivio isn't really as OK with Lutecia's being a shadow as it seemed in Shadow, is she?). I still like the dichotomy between Nanoha and Fate, and Nanoha, cast as the innocent pure heart in your earlier fics when they were children, has become the "She Devil". Very fitting, I think.
You also tackle the nice, coming of age kinds of things that many authors won't. Confusion is hit or miss in fics (you can confuse the audience and yourself along with the characters) and I think you handle it well.
Anyone expecting Cia to quail under Nanoha like I was... well, I wasn't disappointed, but it didn't go the way I thought it would, either!