chapter 1 and 2

OK, I would like to first start by saying you don't get enough credit for your work. This will be the 4th review? Amazing how far this site has fallen. Aside from that, before I get into a long winded review, I would like to congratulate you for getting as many chapters as you have with so few reviews. I know how hard it is to go on with no reader support.

To start, your writing style is refreshingly clear. At no point was I confused as to what was going on. You clearly showed events without any trouble with diction. Additionally, your vocabulary is good. There were no errors that I could find grammatically. Well done!

Considering that this is a fanfiction, I am going to inevitably comment on the accuracy of your chain of events. By the end of Mirror's Edge, Mercury dies. He lives in your story. This is, by me, not a critical change, and I can see it is important to the story, so I wouldn't be too worried. Other than that, nothing is too bad. You quote directly from the game sometimes, but that's just fine.

Now on to characters. Your main character, Jonathan, is well fleshed out. He lacks the cliches that make up the majority of this site. You pull off him being good, but not insanely good. I am impressed. Your other characters don't betray much personality (being the other runners), but truthfully in your story it matters little. Well done.

Your action sequences are very clear, and exiting. I might object a little that he seems to overcome the same obstacles (fire escapes... everywhere) but this isn't an outstanding problem. Its almost... gosh... realistic. Despite my rambling, these are some of the most refreshingly well written action sequences that I have encountered in some time. Very good work.

So overall, I enjoyed your story. I still think you don't get enough credit, and as far as I have read, I am really loving your writing style. You stay true to the game's "canon" while maintaining approachability in your main characters. I'd give it a 99/100. Well done good sir!

It's been quite a while, eh? Just wanted to let you know that I'm reading. Be sure to use a thesaurus for more descriptive verbs and adjectives. They really help out in sequences!

Great story, dude. Your plot is slick and unique, the dialogue is attentive and flowing, and the action and parkour sequences are edgy and fast paced. Keep on keepin' on, man. This is on my alert list.

It's pretty decent, compared to the others that I've read. Here's your first review so you don't get discouraged.