|Reviews for I Would Do Anything|
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 10/4/2017
table she thought
joy; just getting
Moka had taken
She had proclaimed
[“had/was/were verb” is a passive construction to be avoided at all costs]
gone crazy; certain
year; it took
[semicolons separate whole, independent clauses and should be used sparingly even in technical writing. In narrative a comma (to link) or period works better]
see my face so they know who I am
[think they know. Just ‘know’ seems ill-fitting when they just know ‘of’ her]
man who you will
[whom – since it’s referring to the object of the sentence]
It took awhile
towards eh park
to hand up
familiar; she had definitely heard
[semicolon, passive and adverb]
The characters were clear, and I think some more detail about the setting would’ve allowed you more opportunity to expand on the characters (namely how they interacted with it), but the main problem I had was the passive sentences. The story also cut off without actually getting anywhere. I know you say there’s a sort of continuation later, but this story feels half-finished and that doesn’t encourage me to move on to another story that might be less finished. It’s labeled as a tragedy but doesn’t really feel like anything but an introduction.
| Bubbles chapter 1 . 6/15/2015
please write more kurumu and tsukune stories
| Lewis-Sama chapter 2 . 4/27/2015
Damn... Kurumu is my second favorite pairing behind Mizore... but damn what she did was harsh.
| Joey chapter 2 . 2/21/2015
I think i'm going to love this story please update soon.
| TheUniverseCrosser chapter 2 . 6/21/2014
The story barely started until the author quit...
| blackout4465 chapter 2 . 5/29/2014
Alright your Lordship, you've had 5 years to write this story, you must have come up with more for it. You are a great writer, and there's not Enough Tsukune X Kurumu stories out there. This concept is fun and interesting, please make an effort to finish it. I believe you could give FF one hell of a Mystery story with this.
| maesde chapter 2 . 12/5/2013
It just ends like that? damn, i wanted to know what happened next! still, these 2 chapters got me hoocked, great job!
| Number I of the Tri-blade chapter 2 . 3/26/2013
There's so much awesomeness in this story and I'd love to see where it goes. Although there are just two small things that really stick out in my mind.
On the one hand, I know that Kurumu is a demon and her and Moka were rivals. But I just can't see Kurumu downright murdering Moka. I feel like they became friends in their own right. Vocal arguments, sure. Full on demon vs demon fight. Absolutely. But poisoning and all that just seems...not her MO. But of course this is your story, and maybe in full on desperation it could come to that.
The only other thing that stood out to me, was that I feel Kurumu, or any other parent, would notice a conspicuous person on a playground coming up to their child, even if they were in conversation. Especially with the way that Kurumu dotes on Kumiko.
But I suppose those are minute and they work towards the plot, which is important. Overall awesome originality and just awesomeness in general.
| Gruffard chapter 2 . 3/23/2013
Gah evil cliffy. Glad Moka didn't hurt the girl though. But Kurumu's world could fall apart here.
Wish you would continue, but thanks for the read!
| Gruffard chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Well. Damn. But honestly, with all the Harem style animes out there plus thatthey are monsters and Kurumu seems possessive enough to try that. It doesn't surprise me that one of the girls might do this.
| Lu Bane Na chapter 2 . 10/29/2012
oh boy, the tension is picking up now. Moka's back and going through the regular serial killer/stalker routine.
| Lu Bane Na chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
holy shit, I did not see that last part coming. I was sad that Moka just disappeared, and Mizore being forced to marry someone she didn't want to was upsetting for me as well, but then BAM! Reality check, Kurumu killed Moka.
| Blazeb79 chapter 2 . 10/14/2012
Whoa ... Feels like a thriller
| Kaoken92 chapter 2 . 7/14/2012
Omg this totally needs to be finished. I love it.
| Ronniemac28 chapter 2 . 5/15/2012
more please more!