This is brilliant and very promising. However, could I give you some constructive criticism?

You should put speechmarks around the dialogue, with a comma before the second mark (I always used to put it after, but this is wrong).

For thoughts, perhaps italicize them so that people can tell that the character is thinking rather than talking to themselves.

You should use paragraphs, and try to space out the story a bit. Also, it would help if you padded out the story a bit because at the moment it mostly looks like a summary of the ending of Day One, apart from the whole Logan phonecall. Also, you put three very small chapters into one. Each chapter should have it's own chapter on Fanfiction, although this isn't an absolute rule.

Like I wrote earlier, it has a lot of promise and I look forward to seeing more of your work.