|Reviews for Yet again, with a little extra help|
| TransparentAnswer chapter 24 . 7/31
Recently, I found Light Novels for Naruto called Naruto Hiden, the fourth novel had Teuchi's meeting with Naruto almost alike to your version, I can't help but laugh thinking that you actually predicted the future or something. (After I read this fic, of course)
That aside, I think I've been reading this too much. This is just AWESOME. One of the best Naruto fics I have ever read. :D
| jcampbellohten chapter 65 . 7/26
| Guest chapter 56 . 7/26
Game of tongues... I might be green-minded, but it sounded dirty to me... You should've used "Game of Words" or something...
But Nonetheless, Brilliant Story!
| DarksiderForever chapter 4 . 7/22
| DarksiderForever chapter 2 . 7/22
#HinaXNaru #TimeTravel #Amaze
| DarksiderForever chapter 1 . 7/22
| jcampbellohten chapter 24 . 7/20
Huh. I figured he didn't have eyes at all, but he's just blind? I wonder what the big deal is, then...
Oh, speaking of ellipses (these: ...), you use them WAY too much. Also, there should be some kind of divider between the scenes at a scene break. I think you used to use them, so I don't know why you would have stopped.
| jcampbellohten chapter 18 . 7/18
| kingpariah chapter 22 . 6/29
Hehehehehehehe. No matter how often i read this chapter, (its my seventh time reading the story), i always get chills reading the starting scene. (shivers) and the end scene or narration about Presence is something else. Just wow.
| Minato Kurosaki chapter 44 . 6/27
Heh...awesome chapter right there dude, but about that scene where Jiraiya summoned that fast toad...don't you think it would've been better if you called the toad Gamasokudo instead of Gamaspeed? Cos Gamaspeed sounds kinda weird...kinda like selling your laptop for a laptop battery.
| Guest chapter 53 . 6/23
You've got an excellent imagination and admirable skills with plotting and other structural issues, but I would seriously work on your attention to detail when it comes to the actual wording you employ.
I'm sorry if that seems a bit blunt, but I'd really like to see you develop your craft so must speak plainly. By comparison, there are admittedly many worse examples on this site. I just recently "deleted" one former tentative favorite (a first story by an author, initially selected based only on its summary and initial chapter) which went the other way and became so muddled and confused as to be unreadable. Yours is not to that point, by a long shot, but each glitch does divert one's attention from the narrative flow to having to consider "what the author meant here."
You start the third section of this "chapter" by identifying the location as specifically "Back with the title character" when there is no single character meeting the definition of that term in this story. Naruto is certainly the "protagonist" and a "main character." However, the "title characters" are collectively his "little extra help" and their locations are somewhat scattered at this point in the story. Indeed, one could argue that only your OCs qualify as "extra" since the other "help" are at once merely cannon characters (although used differently) and perhaps too numerous to be described as just "a little" extra help.
| Guest chapter 48 . 6/22
Might want to delete this chapter.
The site content guidelines ban 'non-story' content, even if they only seem to enforce that aspect for fully-extraneous content which they've received user complaints about. A/Ns and reviews responses included with 'story content' chapters, while technically also banned, seem to be ignored. Go figure.
Your sole purpose for including this chapter became 'obsoleted by events' when the recommended story was, itself, pulled from the site for violating other site content guidelines (presumably plagiarism though the author didn't actually say so). I've been unable to locate the story on other sites so must conclude, if it is posted elsewhere now, that any such postings are well hidden.
| Guest chapter 39 . 6/20
Story continues to be excellent. Keep honing your craft and I'm confident you will be able to write professionally.
A minor glitch, which becomes increasingly grating with the frequent repetition. While SOME 'purposes' might be described as 'intensive,' I believe the common expression you're trying to employ is 'for all intents and purposes.‘
| Guest chapter 21 . 6/18
It's a minor nag but, twice now you've referred to "THAT technique [not going] AWOL again" if Sasuke will master water walking before training in it again. To quote the very imitable Inego Montoya (a character from "The Princess Bride" - see clip YIP6EwqMEoE on YouTube), "You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means." :-)
AWOL is an acronym from military jargon referring specifically to a PERSON who is Away (from their assigned duty station) Without Official Leave (*approved* vacation or other time "off" - medical/bereavement/etc.).
Keeping to similar military jargon, a more appropriate acronym for your context would be to refer to the technique getting "FUBAR" (F-ed Up Beyond All Repair).
| Guest chapter 16 . 6/18
Oh, please. Check the party political bigotry ("Cough Bush Cough.") and just enjoy the storytelling. Thanks.
Seriously, party identity matters not a whit, "absolute power corrupts absolutely" and anyone who wants to hold a political office should be immediately disqualified from seeking it. (IMO)
By way of example, I doubt anyone will ever surpass for sheer venality the Clintons. Here we have the king whose honesty under Grand Jury testimony "[...] depends on what the definition of 'is' is [...]" (depending on it's strict association the "Present Tense" as of the time a question was asked about which itself had clearly - from context - been meant generally but which had been expressed instead in the present tense) and the queen who started her career by giving new meaning to the expression "criminal lawyer" (the "billing records" scandal) then went on to display the hutzpah as SecState to punish a staffer for violating the same email security guidelines on a trivially-small scale which she, herself, had been violating in the extreme for years. ;-)