|Reviews for The Diary of Edward Masen|
| ckcpurple chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
So this really isn't my cup of tea. That said, I thought you did a great job. I really appreciate the way your writing style changes to fit the mood of the story you are trying to convey. I think you really captured the period well in they way you constructed your sentences and told the story. I loved the missing page! Nice overall.
| ktsgran chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
What a great story. Wish there was a lot more! You must have done long hours of research to write this. Your diligence shows. Thank you JPL
| kgbuff chapter 1 . 8/2/2009
This is a beautiful and sensitively written story..love the many amazing details of the tribe's life, the intensity and details of the wagon train's attack, crawing into the buffalo herd, the sweatlodge and visions... very, very well done!
| sapphire.witche chapter 1 . 7/26/2009
I gotta say, I'm impressed! Good use of Native tongue (if I recall from tweets ... Blackfoot?). This is surprisingly long and took me last night and this morning to finish (MoonWitche and a couple other people were over and they're distracting!).
"Jacob was able to explain to me the meaning of his name which is quiet amusing" - this confused me ... then I figured that you must have meant quite rather than quiet (they are so easy to mix up)...
I've never read anything like this before and I enjoyed reading it. Well done! :)
| YukonGirl88 chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
seriuosly so good.
| MeiSun chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
This was really fascinating!
Obviously, it did not turn out as I expected!
Lovely long story with a neat cultural interpretation.
I'd like to think that she and Edward actually are fertile together.
Thank you. :)
| Beans827 chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
Wow...this is an amazing story. You did SO MUCH in a one shot. Your journal writing was so very good. It totally sounded like the period of time and stuff a very virginesque Edward would say. OMG...it was so very poetic. I agree that some things went missing towards the end. I would love to know why Jake left but that's not really the point of this story, I guess. But your descriptions of the native village life and Edward taking it all in were so very well done.
Thanks for sharing that! Good luck in the contest.
| my2galspal chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
I really enjoyed your story but you left us hanging. Did you use actual Native American words or just make some things up? Then you tell us the translation for the "caretaker's" name but you never tell us the translation for he name they give Edward. That's just mean. Do you plan on doing anything else with this story? Is Jacob really on his way to find Bella and if he is, why?
Thanks for sharing your writing. Best of luck in the contest.
| unknown profile chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
aw i loved it, it was really good