|Reviews for Dust|
| streetfighter246 chapter 1 . 12/21/2009
I liked your got to see storm's feelings and thoughts. It was awsome.
| Mariko the Cure chapter 1 . 7/23/2009
AUGHWHYHAVEN'TIREADTHISYETWRY? Sis, don't listen to that-that ASSHOLE Kelvin. You rule, seriously...
...NU! DON'T FEEL THAT WAY! YOU HAS ME! *Glomps* ILU SIS!
| Kiba Sniper chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
I KNEW HE HAD A BRAIN SOMEWHERE. *hugs Storm*
Storm: G-GET OFF!
That line "My best friend is my other argument obsessed best friend’s boyfriend" did confuse me. This was pretty deep for our favorite albatross, good job!
| Hypo Prower chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
I think this story is really, really good. It's not too long, but it gives us a side of Storm that I've never thought about before. I have to admit, sometimes I feel like I'm in Storm's position...then my friends come and help me back up.
This made my day! I'll be watching out for more awesome stories from you! :)
| pika123 chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
that was a good one-shot keep up the great work
| SPEAKERNiGHT chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
I'm sorry that you feel left out in a friendship. Wanna talk about it over coffee and donuts?
| Zefri012 chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
Not a bad one-shot, Dark! You seem to have this skill to balance detail in the proper zone, and keep an interest in the audience... ... ...
And as for the guy below... Lord Kelvin...
You are ONE person. One person out of the thousands of millions on the planet. So what her idea isn't original? NOTHING is these days. EVERYTHING has been written about, humanity is running out of ideas, so we're digging up from history what we used to enjoy.
And so what she is trying to put her experience into a fictional character? It makes it easier for her to write the story, as she can write from her own perspective.
And besides all of this, even if all I said is a load of crap. So far, review-wise, it has entertained 2 out of three people. That's a VERY good score. It doesn't matter if the characters are ooc or they don't appeal to you as you perceive them, for fan fiction... And EVERYTHING that is culture on Earth is designed to ENTERTAIN. Even if YOU aren't the direct audience.
Have a nice, enjoyable day.
| Lord Kelvin chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
Over time, a reader's perception of writing changes dramatically. What used to be cute is now horrid. Emotional doodles look fake. Excited speeches become static noise.
When an author admits to such a moral crime, I don't know whether to nod or wish you death. You talk too much, that's what I can tell you for sure. When the reader notices there is too much of the author in a story, the reader leaves, because he or she is not viewing a work of art. The beholder sees the author.
You've put your experiences into a character. What do you want the reviewer to say? Bravo, your thoughts are original? Or say this is just like everything else on the site. The difference here is that you put the critic in an uncomfortable position. You have the right to take it personally, as this text should have stayed personal. A diary, if you may.
'My best friend is my other argument obsessed best friend’s boyfriend' I ignored this sentence, because I couldn't get it. Either punctuation or my head.
The ending is enough for a reader to shed a tear, and the rest is written more or less appropriately. Just one problem: this isn't Storm. I cannot imagine his voice and stature thinking such cockamamie hogwash. You try sounding it out in your head. Does it work?
Sometimes a character is not you. Everyone is specific. Like you wouldn't stuff Tails' grammar into Vector's 'whaddya do that for!', you cannot call this story fan fiction. Sometimes a story likes an audience.
Seldom it should be alone.
Have a nice, abuse-free day.
| CrazyNutSquirrel chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
*applauds* Bravo! Bravo Dark-chan! I think it was wonderful. Aww... you do? *virtual hugs* Well I give it a 10 out of 10! Storm thinking was quite interesting, in most of the fics I've read, no one really says what Storm might be thinking about things, only Jet or Wave. So bravo again Dark-chan! :D