Reviews for Once Upon a Time in a Bowling Alley
Koshivuh chapter 1 . 5/22/2011
I've never read anything like this, you're amazing.
I.Heart.K.Stew.94 chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
I thought this was great - really, really sweet little love story :)
andii cullen pattinson chapter 1 . 2/2/2010
Oh ii SO LOVE iit

&Edward ii feel bad4him

4what happend wiith hiis siister
Curiosity62 chapter 1 . 11/4/2009
Great fic!
ivy.and.gold chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
love (:
babyot chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
Damn, I have loved and loved and loved some more the entries in this contest. I have read like 20 so far and been blown away by 3/4 of them - yours included! This was a great piece with rich detail for the era with handball and bell bottoms and dig it and sparkin' doobies. It had drama, suspense, a bit of family angst, humor, sexual tension, and killer lemony goodness - I REALLY enjoyed this and thank you for entertaining me so thoroughly!
AccioBourbon chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
I really enjoyed this! You have a unique storytelling voice and I want to read more of your stuff.

I was teenager in the 70's (yikes) and I enjoyed all of your period references. I have (somewhat hazy) memories of getting high in friends' basements, under blacklight, with stacks of LPs on the stereo.

I loved this passage: "I am thinking really hard and trying to remember if I took anything that might cause hallucinations. The answer is a resounding no. I pulled his baby’s ass smooth face away from my neck to look him in the eye. His green eyes are like something out of a science fiction movie and they are pulling me down into some lovey dovey abyss."

Great job! Thank you.
AStoryReader chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
Great sexy times mixed in with a bit of angst, and funny times as well. Wonderful job, and the best of luck in the contest!
my2galspal chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
I really enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing it and best of luck in the contest.
grandsophia chapter 1 . 7/19/2009
LOL, now i really love bowling ! :] the lemon was so HOT !
michellemybelle202 chapter 1 . 7/18/2009
Hi! I just wanted to say that I really adored this story. It was short and sweet with the perfect mix of funny and sexy plus a Tiny little bit of angst.

And I think you did a great job of sort of setting up the atmosphere of the story as being in the 70s without shouting it at the reader over and over. You set the mood early on, and then you didn't have to keep up a constant reminder. It was subtle, and I really liked that.

And I have to say that in the beginning when we found out Edward had a beard, I was a little bit sad that his beautiful face was covered up. But all it did was make it more exciting later when he shaved and Bella got to see his face for the first time. That's such a little thing but it just adds so much to the story.

Honestly, after reading this, I can't wait to read some of your other stuff. Thanks for such a great story!
poo235 chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
I cannot believe that this story does not have more reviews. It's so real... no Bella and Edward bumping and grinding right away.. instead, interrupting their kiss with the smell of a joint destroying a coffee table.

And a lot of great references to 70's culture. Thongs!

Oh my, between the porn start beard and the stripping of a LZ shirt, I was drooling :-D

Good luck in the contest!
Scorpio11 chapter 1 . 7/17/2009
I loved it. The dialogue was terrific, and I especially loved that thongs are something that go between your toes as it should be.
unknown profile chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
great story, i loved it
mjinaspen chapter 1 . 7/16/2009
I'd like to thank you for the following items:

- Edward in a tight Led Zep concert t-shirt

- Edward stripping off the above mentioned item

- using the word "thong" in reference to shoes (i grew up in the '70s. i still have to bite my tongue before saying "flip flops".)

- making Edward a drummer

- the excellent and accurate '70s refs (e.g. Barnabus Collins, Rosemary's Baby)

- rock star hair and porn star beard

I want to ask him if he would mind rubbing his face along the inside of my thigh

- heheheheh.

We’re not ashamed of what we just did and everyone should know that there are lots fun things to do at a bowling alley.

- aw... sweet and sexy ending. not too much schmoop, either. bravo!
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