Reviews for I'll Always Love You, No Matter What Happens
Jupiter's Magic chapter 7 . 8/4/2012
Okay! So I'll leave a thought. I love the idea that you have for the story, from what I've read, there aren't that many ZanexOC stories (maybe there are now, I'm not sure).

Anyway, lets go over a few things

1. Paragraphs/Spacing: I found that it was hard for me to read at times, might want to fix up the chapters.

2. The Characters: Okay, I really don't want this to sound mean, and if it does, I'm sorry; its not supposed to be.

First off, like Erin Deer said, you might want to be clear which season this story takes place. Since you have Atticus, I don't think Season 1. Erin also made a good point, Zane is a lot kinder if the story takes place in Season 4, but if it doesn't take place in that season, then the characters seen out of Character (Atticus, to me, seems in character). Zane isn't that nice in season 1, and definitely not in Season 2 or 3, and on top of that, Alexis and Chazz are OOC.

Time for your OC. Becca is 95% of a Mary Sue. But have no fear! There are a lot of Character Development quizzes that are online that can determine how much of a Mary/Gary Sue your OC is (I took one and it was a life saver).

But i do like the idea that you have with the story. Just remember the following

1. Spacing/Paragraphs (help make things easier)
2. Character Development (look at the GX character bios on the Yu-Gi-Oh! Wiki)
3. I strongly suggest taking an OC test
4. A beta reader is also a life saver

I hope this constructive criticism helps! I am more than willing to help out! (and i totally want you to continue, just re-write it with the suggestions your reviewers are giving you)

This story has potential...Keep at it!

Jupiter
Dr Scratch chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
To be honest, this takes me back to when I first started writing and it has a LOT of potential to be a great piece of writing, but the potential in my opinion is being used improperly.

But I have a question, what season does this fan fiction take place in? Because if it's the first season, then both Alexis, Chazz, and Zane are all out of character (OOC). But if it was the fourth season, it'd make a lot more sense for Zane to be the sweet "nice-guy," although Chazz & Alexis would still be out of character. I would honestly look up the Yugioh GX wikia page to use the character bios as a dependable reference.

Secondly, your character Becky sounds a bit too Mary sue-ish for even a guilty pleasure kind of a Fan Fic. My recommendation is that you think of certain flaws you find in observing just regular people in every day life, and adding more to that so your audience can more easily relate to Becky.

But the good news is that I like the fact she is a twin to Alexis, and you have so much potential to play around with this idea. Maybe you could explore the possibilities of her being a paternal twin and give her some of the features of both Alexis and Atticus?

And another good idea is to use acting methods to help develop your character and give her motives to doing certain things, like pick your character's brain for a little bit. A good way to do this is to look up character questionnaires and answer as your character.

As for the plot, I think it's good so far, but I'd tweak it a little. Such as giving Chazz motivation for doing the things he does, and do that for all the other canon characters. And keep editing, and get second opinions, a beta reader is a really beneficial idea not just for spelling and grammar, but someone to bounce ideas off of to experiment with what sounds good and what doesn't.

So overall, not too bad, needs a little tweaking, but not bad :)
Cosmic Kiss chapter 7 . 2/22/2012
Bonjour fellow fanfic writer, how do you do? No I'm not French, I'm British and I live in the UK I'm just trying to mix it up a little. So I see you a story about Alexis having a twin who fell in love with Zane. Well I've never seen a fic about Alexis having a twin but I'm glad your the first story I read about it. I'll operate a kiss, slap, kiss system. This means a compliment, criticism and compliment. Giving you a heads up so you know I'm nice and not a troll.

Kiss: Cool plot, I love the direction this story is headed and hope you write more.

Slap: Your grammar and spacing is bad so you might need to get a beta so people will give your story a chance as some readers despise awesome stories because they have bad grammar. Also Zane was slightly OOC which nearly made me faint but don't take this the wrong way as I write a story about Jaden Yuki having a twin sister which currently follows season 1 with a lot of twists. Also she ended up crushing on Zane. So don't take this the wrong way.

Kiss: The costume duel episode was cool and I prefer it over the original episode.

All I can say now is update soon please!
Cosmic Kiss chapter 7 . 2/22/2012
Bonjour fellow fanfic writer, how do you do? No I'm not French, I'm British and I live in the UK I'm just trying to mix it up a little. So I see you a story about Alexis having a twin who fell in love with Zane. Well I've never seen a fic about Alexis having a twin but I'm glad your the first story I read about it. I'll operate a kiss, slap, kiss system. This means a compliment, criticism and compliment. Giving you a heads up so you know I'm nice and not a troll.

Kiss: Cool plot, I love the direction this story is headed and hope you write more.

Slap: Your grammar and spacing is bad so you might need to get a beta so people will give your story a chance as some readers despise awesome stories because they have bad grammar. Also Zane was slightly OOC which nearly made me faint but don't take this the wrong way as I write a story about Jaden Yuki having a twin sister which currently follows season 1 with a lot of twists. Also she ended up crushing on Zane. So don't take this the wrong way.

Kiss: The costume duel episode was cool and I prefer it over the original episode.

All I can say now is update soon please!
Jupiter's Magic chapter 5 . 8/16/2011
Love this story. Continue?
OJ68 chapter 5 . 8/4/2011
keep up the good work
Crystal-Wolf-Guardain-967 chapter 5 . 6/7/2011
i love it! can't wait for more!
Jamie - louise chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
and... OMG, i just went on your profile to look at your other stories and xD we have the same birthday! lol. though i'm 16 now, and i dont know, you may be younger or older, it depends on ow long ago it's been since you updated your profile. I read higuchimons review, but honestly nevermind. i love their stories a LOT but they shouldnt be so harsh when reviewing yours, as it is really good. peace out ...Jai...
Jamie - louise chapter 3 . 7/22/2009
:O this is like the story ive been waiting for :D an M-rated STRAIGHT romance between zane and an OC. yay! make tis as long as you can please please PLEASE and perhaps some M-rated scenes between Your OC and Zane perhaps?...
Silence after War chapter 3 . 7/22/2009
so far, this story is really good. i tried reading it on quizilla but you didn't have ch. 2 posted so i decided to wait untill you posted it here. i like what u have so keep at it.
tsukihime04 chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
Hey I hope you continue this fine story. I love it.
Higuchimon chapter 2 . 7/19/2009
...

Do you know how to make *any* character that is not a generic Mary Sue, much less how to write any of these characters IN CHARACTER and acting REMOTELY like themselves?

Go. Watch 180 episodes of GX. Learn how these people act and WRITE THEM acting the way they actually WOULD, not mangling them into brainless parodies that can only think about YOUR character instead of THEIR lives.

And you'll have to do a LOT better to have Juudai and Asuka, or Jaden and Alexis, dating in FIRST YEAR. It comes off right now as just being a cheap throwaway situation to "free up" Manjoume so he can decide he lusts after your Mary Sue.

Also, learn what a PARAGRAPH is and use them. Frequently.