|Reviews for The Ravenclaw Rejects: Book One|
| chrysanths chapter 10 . 1/13
As much as you write an interesting alternate universe, your writing is ... bland. Not enough detail is put into voice, emotion, or adding context into WHY something feels a certain way to someone. It has the emotional depth of a school textbook. Just stating facts, stating reactions, but not making them come to life in any way.
For example, as James is reading about Harry Potter and connecting the dots between him and this celebrity figure; were his hands trembling? Did he repeatedly shut the book, only to turn around and reopen it? Was he angry, or were his emotions dependent upon his dialogue?
"Yes that describes my natural looks. Crap."
Is that resignation or bitterness? I can't tell, because with your words, I don't know how he is feeling unless you spell it out. Yes, it's nice to know James is in denial and avoids the spotlight, and pranks, BUT none of those mentioned pranks appear "on screen" apart from the dungbomb event which is kinda lame in my opinion. Also... certain things should kind of be a bit more subtle. It's in the little actions or details that make a plot point like those really stand under scrutiny.
The way you write people, too, can leave much to be desired. Instead of giving these people voices, they are given a script to say that is independent on what they are and who they are. A one thousand year old basilisk who has surely spent most of those years in seclusion cannot reasonably sound like a human from the current generation. Not just in dialogue, but also in text flavor.
"I like you. You are polite at least."
To be crude about it, your basilisk has nothing to distinguish it as either a snake, a dangerous predator, a thousand year old being, OR someone who was taken to task with petrifying if not premeditating some degree of murder under the Riddle's control.
I am sorry for responding in such a way. Like I said, the AU is sound, but it feels lifeless in it's design. I can't relate with anyone because I cannot connect on an emotional level.
| ironhair chapter 11 . 10/12/2014
And it's incomplete ...?
| ironhair chapter 10 . 10/12/2014
The books should be more than a. Thousand years old... Not 100
| ironhair chapter 1 . 10/12/2014
| Blitzstrahl chapter 10 . 6/11/2014
Think ill just catch all the way up, then ask questions lol. Just saw this has 3 parts to it.
| Blitzstrahl chapter 9 . 6/11/2014
hmmm, So Snape is about to work out James equals Harry, or is he thinking bastard child of Sirius somehow?
| Blitzstrahl chapter 3 . 6/11/2014
Twins...map real name?
| Blitzstrahl chapter 2 . 6/11/2014
Naturally Snape took notice lol.
| Blitzstrahl chapter 1 . 6/11/2014
Did Petunia changing Harry's name somehow make him lose the Potter estate?
| Kairan1979 chapter 11 . 3/31/2014
Funny thing is that Ravenclaw!Harry is more like his father than Canon!Harry, at least when it comes to pranking.
| Konri Kari chapter 11 . 7/3/2013
This is great!
| Guest chapter 9 . 1/1/2013
rocks out loud love the "hey your a professor do something" bit
| Triple Rainbow chapter 11 . 11/23/2012
This is really cool. There is not enough good ravensclaw harry stories out there
| wolfydies chapter 11 . 6/13/2012
No. NO! NOOOOOOO! ... y-YOU HAVE TO UPDATE! It can't be the last update, it just can't... I'm going to go sulk now. Please do update soon.
| KarisTasogare chapter 1 . 4/3/2012
somew slight problems in this, mostly implying harry/james is older than 12. (earning money for example)
but if these are ignored not too bad over all