|Reviews for The Ravenclaw Rejects: Book One|
| Mahal-Means-Love377 chapter 10 . 4/20/2016
Nathan... FUCKING NATHAN.
| Cassandra30 chapter 11 . 3/14/2016
| Cassandra30 chapter 10 . 3/14/2016
| Cassandra30 chapter 9 . 3/14/2016
Amusing and imaginative.
| Cassandra30 chapter 8 . 3/14/2016
| Cassandra30 chapter 6 . 3/14/2016
| Cassandra30 chapter 5 . 3/14/2016
| Cassandra30 chapter 4 . 3/14/2016
Neville is something else.
| Cassandra30 chapter 3 . 3/14/2016
| Cassandra30 chapter 2 . 3/14/2016
| Cassandra30 chapter 1 . 3/14/2016
| Noxaura Cille chapter 3 . 12/23/2015
... To be frank, I don't like the cliché. 'James Evans' is used too often, and the writing...*cringes* get a beta, do some research, and I might finish this. Great idea, though! ~Nox
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/25/2015
Quidditch not Quittitch
| chrysanths chapter 10 . 1/13/2015
As much as you write an interesting alternate universe, your writing is ... bland. Not enough detail is put into voice, emotion, or adding context into WHY something feels a certain way to someone. It has the emotional depth of a school textbook. Just stating facts, stating reactions, but not making them come to life in any way.
For example, as James is reading about Harry Potter and connecting the dots between him and this celebrity figure; were his hands trembling? Did he repeatedly shut the book, only to turn around and reopen it? Was he angry, or were his emotions dependent upon his dialogue?
"Yes that describes my natural looks. Crap."
Is that resignation or bitterness? I can't tell, because with your words, I don't know how he is feeling unless you spell it out. Yes, it's nice to know James is in denial and avoids the spotlight, and pranks, BUT none of those mentioned pranks appear "on screen" apart from the dungbomb event which is kinda lame in my opinion. Also... certain things should kind of be a bit more subtle. It's in the little actions or details that make a plot point like those really stand under scrutiny.
The way you write people, too, can leave much to be desired. Instead of giving these people voices, they are given a script to say that is independent on what they are and who they are. A one thousand year old basilisk who has surely spent most of those years in seclusion cannot reasonably sound like a human from the current generation. Not just in dialogue, but also in text flavor.
"I like you. You are polite at least."
To be crude about it, your basilisk has nothing to distinguish it as either a snake, a dangerous predator, a thousand year old being, OR someone who was taken to task with petrifying if not premeditating some degree of murder under the Riddle's control.
I am sorry for responding in such a way. Like I said, the AU is sound, but it feels lifeless in it's design. I can't relate with anyone because I cannot connect on an emotional level.
| ironhair chapter 11 . 10/12/2014
And it's incomplete ...?