|Reviews for Son of Aura|
| Blitza chapter 14 . 4/20
I liked the aura
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/20
Pokémon movie 56 advanceshipping Ash's past
Delia was having a wonderful day; nature walks were her favorite activity, and she enjoyed helping Professor Oak and Spencer with their research of Pallet Town's local Pokemon. While she had a good life, only one thing would make her heart complete. A child. Delia had always wanted a child of her own, someone to love, and hold. Delia knew her purpose in life was to be a mother, but she had yet to meet that significant other and adoptions could take years. As she looked towards the river she spotted a basket.
'How Odd'. She decided to see what it was. he reached the basket and opened it, and inside was the most beautiful thing she ever saw, a baby boy with coal black hair and bright brown eyes.
she took the baby into her arms.
"I'll call Child Services in the morning" Professor Oak said, "They will take him in and a find a suitable home for him"
"No" Delia cried as she held the baby protectively to her chest.
"If you care about my happiness, then PLEASE let me keep this baby" Delia begged
Delia cried tears of joy and ran to the Professor.
Delia sat back down on the couch and rocked the child.
Delia stared down at the baby in her arms, "Ash" she whispered.
"Ash" she said more loudly, "I'm going to call him Ash
Ash- May, I remember now. my real parents died in my birth, I was adopted, I'm the last of the kai-raptors as ash turns into raptor with tiger-stripes, I'm sorry, may i love you.
ash and malic
| Cahaya Sidur chapter 14 . 2/8
I literally just finished reading this in about an hour or two, and that was the only thing on my mind when I realised that I had finished.
LOVED all of the characters mentioned, especially the expansion of Lucario and Sir Aaron, who weren't shown too much other than what was in those 'history books' and stuff...this is an awesome story. And as for the song 'Deliver Us', I heard it, and immediately downloaded it. I can get where you got the inspiration from. Great story, hopefully onto the sequel next.
| Hi chapter 14 . 12/30/2014
I saw something I always wanted to see. The story the ideas; I loved it all I have read and reread; I would sign you a film contract.i love your writing it is magnificent. Amazing I am at loss of word. Absolutely stellar.
| WolfGoddess chapter 14 . 11/29/2014
My Goddess, this was a good story. I enjoyed the way you wrote it and you did a good job of telling how each person knew Ash.
| Deadzepplin chapter 2 . 10/27/2014
Hello sir Aaron and WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!
| amourshipping 3 chapter 1 . 9/14/2014
SERENA and everyone and DELIA and their POKEMON see ash turns into a leopard , the prince of the KANTO FOREST they saw KALOB'S sister name KYRA they saw them together as a family of leopards , they them have a cub name YUVI the next prince of KANTO FOREST , they heard ash sang to KYRA ash- everything you are and everything I am , were together like the earth and flowers understand , we are in tune each and everyday , how can we be happy with that look upon your face ? cause I am yours and your a mine and you don't have stay angry , to forgive and forget and that's what a makes a family , I see that you WANNA do this your way , you should know I going to chase you all day , you know I can't go on without you , give us a smile you know I love you . cause that I am yours and you are mine and you don't have to stay angry , to forgive and forget that's what makes a family , KYRA- one more pretty word out of you and walk away is what I GONNA do , it's always the same song you barter , you should try to charm harder cause that you are mine and I am yours no one knows better than me , to forgive and forget that's make you my family , animals - EEH-ooh to forgive to forgive. EEH-ooh to forgive . they see ash teaches YUVI ome a king of KANTO forest , they heard ash roars loud the roar scared team rocket away , YUVI-wow dad , you are not scared of humans , ash- my dad is name sultan the leopard king of JOHTO REGION , YUVI this were I met your mom when I was a cub , sultan was killed by the hunters.
| pokemonrox7 chapter 12 . 7/14/2014
Was that a Star Wars reference in Chapter 11?
| Guest chapter 14 . 6/22/2014
This is so much like Star Wars :) great job on the story!
| Adventureguydave chapter 14 . 6/22/2014
If anyone read my last reviews i meant kalos not kanto because it's the reign he's right now & i meant everything in my other reviews that is kalos. But this time he should go into the world of gargoyles on his own( & i mean no friends & pokemon with him pikachu included) like this other story with resident evil(by the author who made pokehearts the chosen one's fate & destiny) to learn to use his aura to take care of himself & not rely to anyone who is not with him anymore & foam a bond with goliath who will become his friend, mentor, & father figure to ash & respect each other, understand each other & learn from each other as father-son relationship figure in the end for them to see.
| Adventureguydave chapter 1 . 5/31/2014
Sorry about the writing at chapter 13 of my review i wrote kalos not kanto because i want what to know what will ash do during his journey in kalos, transport to a new world & being separated from his friends(pikachu & pokemon included) & learn he can't always rely on them forever. That it's time for him to rely on himself & learn more about things through his path.
That is all. Thank You
| Adventureguydave chapter 14 . 5/23/2014
I almost forgot one more thing when the fanfic comes during ash's kalos & i mean everything i wrote in the last chapter when ash goes to a mysterious new world & has spent months there alone while making new friends & could you make him a black armour suit? Because its time for ash to really fight on his own without his pokemon & friends to be by his side but the memories he shared becomes his greatest strength ever & fight with his aura as well & be almost bilbo & frodo from the hobbit & lord of the rings to write his own story & learn the true meaning of everything like battles, courage, knowledge, wisdom,hope, companionship & friendship. But not the same ash as before because of what he has been through ti'l the end.
| Adventureguydave chapter 12 . 5/23/2014
I understand real good but i think it's better for ash not to be reunited with pikachu at all, because its time for ash to handle something on his own like taking care of himself, become a combat warrior, learn how to use his aura well & use it for anything else including directions, & learn that he can't rely to anyone else anymore like all his friends to Kanto-kalos because hes not with them & they're not with him & he must also handle things only he can do himself. But it is a bit rough & sad he has to let go of everyone he cared for. But he will find the path he seeks to discover what he answer.(This will remind you of naruto ninja storm generations path of each character selection menu). And meet wise people who will tell him he will not be the same again.
P.S Mr author wrote a fanfic during ash's travels in kanto & get only ash to that world so that he will learn better with his aura between knowledge & wisdom, & form new bonds with people he meets & become friends with.
| CLAMP Full Metal Heart chapter 13 . 5/12/2014
Er, I accidentally send the message too early.
I didn't like the portrayal of Mew and Celebi. They didn't seem to overcome adversity and became stronger on the moral standpoint. Celebi with her belief on fate is a fatalist. This could be developed more and could use more often. Mew didn't have much development either and could be explore like Mewtwo did.
The most explored theme was fate and letting it run its course. Personally, I'm more of Screw Destiny in the lines of Ash. It's not exactly explained well and the main theme didn't seem to explored as well.
The plot to take over the world is really not that great. I think the better ulterior of Malic was to achieve better than Aaron who seemed to prefer a simple life. Again, more examination would do well of Malic and Aaron. Not much examination of Raia as well since we never see her beyond her hesitance regarding parenthood and her belief of sacrifice. I am not asking for all the characters to be well-developed but there are so much material you could use in a story like this. Exploring the moral and familial sources, we can have a really great story
It's a nice story but I wished there were more development that would elevate it to a great story. A rewrite would be really nice since this story has so much material you can use. It helps we know nothing of Aura so we can have our own mythos and theories what happened to the Aura since there are very few people in the anime who knows it.
Speaking of which, since this story has a lot of material, you can have short stories involving the interactions of Aaron and Ash, Delia, and his friends, learning much more about each other. Just talking about each other since this story doesn't have much interaction of Aaron actually getting to know Ash beyond the selflessness. He no all of the adults need to know Ash isn't perfect. The lack of interactions between Aaron and Delia are the most wanted. How much can be explored between these two are just ginormous. I am not asking for love since Aaron's heart seemed to belong to Raia.
I'm a compassionate critic and hoped to improve the writing of others. I really want to help and elevate the potential it has. If you are some of the people who can't take constructive criticism and I accidentally insulted you (I didn't mean to! I wanted to help), then it's okay. It's your story and hope it continue to be popular.
- CLAMP Full Metal Heart
| CLAMP Full Metal Heart chapter 14 . 5/12/2014
I've been meaning to review this fic for some time now. I really like this story but there are many flaws that kept it from going into a great story. It's an good-ish fic but not really that fantastic as most reviews raved about. I am going to deal with its virtues first then its flaws.
The plot was pretty nice and the pacing was good. While there aren't any character development, there are some characterization that are quite nice in Aaron, Delia, Lucario, and Mewtwo.
Aaron developed more as a person and perhaps the best development out of the entire cast. We see that his love for his loved ones can blind his judgment, his ability to act before reason, and hesitance of fatherhood. He's not a hero that Cameron made him to be. He's an emotional and sensitive person who reacts realistically to how his child may be dying.
Mewtwo is a fascinating development. He still lacks information about humanity but still tries his best to live. He reacts to how a person who treats him so kindly without prejudice within reason. He's a reasonable character.
Lucario seemed to be the most sane development. While there isn't exactly much trait development, he's far more reasonable than Mewtwo even. He understands about the world which is ironic with Mewtwo. The contrast and comparison between the two Pokemon were also quite nice. They are both powerful Pokemon who had a devotion towards a certain human yet they have differing personalities and reactions.
Delia have an understandable reaction to how her son would react. Again, there aren't that much development on her character. She's the worrying mother who have an understandable reaction to meeting her adopted son's blood father.
I would have to put this up: I would like to suggest some constructive criticism. I didn't like it when people misconstrued constructive criticism as flames but moving on...
Other reviews noted spelling and grammar errors. While it got slightly better by the end, some are glaring and I'm not a Grammar Nazi, I'm seriously not! I'm not the best grammar expert in the world but it's still obvious. Commas are too frequent when there should be stops and periods. The other reviews should already make this point clear anyway.
The only OOC moment was with Lance on that little rivalry with Lucario and Mewtwo. I don't need to say anymore since the other review already covered it.
I also find it worrying about Aaron's place in the world. The major plot hole is whether or not he now has an ID in this world. Much like Ash, he doesn't have any prior ID before on this new time period; he's an alien and supposed to be dead. A bit of clearing up would do...which leads me to that other problem.
Not much are cleared up in this story. Why did Chris chose to betray them? Why Malic chose to do what he does? What the heck was Aura 'destroying' another? What else is there to 'Dark Magic'? How would Cameron react to their hero alive and well again? How would Aaron know what else about Ash from Delia?
While the two questions are resolved...sort of, there are just too many questions and the questions above are just pricking the surface. I hoped the sequel (s) would clear up. I'm not asking to explain every little detail but it would be nice to have implication.
Much improvement can do well particularly when there are lots of material.
There was the obvious parallel with Malic/Aaron and Chris/Jackie. The Big Bad, Malic and the Dragon, Chris are just one-note villains. They just have one character trait: bad. Their backstory are explained by the characters who see them as bad instead of the actual villains. Power is just a flimsy excuse as well. Evil isn't inherent. It could be the Malic once had idealistic views until they were crushed by someone and the world kept trampling whatever he had and he just snapped. How about Chris? Chris was once a ranger. How about his dreams being crushed because he never lived up to his true potential and believed that being in the opposite team meant more recognition? The parallels are made but the development of the villains are just one-note when there are material.
Jackie has so much potential to be written as opposed to Lance who seemed to be just there. Jackie was a free-spirited soul who trusted the lot of people. When someone he trust wholeheartedly and implied to have known him since school days and knew who he was, how could he react? He could react reasonably in comparison to Aaron's reaction of Malic's Face Heel Turn. Again, the parallels with Aaron/Malic and Jackie/Chris which had many parallels and more exploration can be needed to see the differences and similarities. Again, more exploration could be useful to elevate this story when there are
I can't help but worry about Ash. I understand his situation but the way he was portrayed to others... He seemed to be the ultimate Good to them. He may have done much but really he seemed flanderized to the point I can't see his flaws. He's still human that only Mewtwo and Aaron seemed to realize. Kid or not, putting a kid on a pedestal is not a good thing. Ash has the tendency to be slow, clueless, selfish and reckless to the point he doesn't seem to care that much about his own self-preservation. He's still a child who had yet to understand the world beyond black and white. The adults are putting a kid, a teenager on the pedestal which forced the boy to live up to the ideals.
While I can totally understand the black and white morality in play here, there are just so much exploration that can elevate this story to a great one.
As I mentioned previously, many characters are just there or have little development. Even Ash who I explained was just heroically good. Lance and Judy have minimal development.
Now moving onto the legendary Pokemon, I didn't like the portrayal of