|Reviews for Truth Be Told|
| AC2 chapter 8 . 10/13/2009
Great prose, great rescue story... great everything!
I'm with Morthoron on the niggle, though. It's more likely she would have used rushes unless there was a supply of sand for her somewhere.
But what a great chapter!
| lindahoyland chapter 8 . 10/10/2009
Another excellent chapter. Poor Deoric,but he certainly found help from unexpected both Dunlendings and wolves get a bad press?
I felt too for Deoric's wife and mother left to wait for news.
I eagerly await more
| blacksleeves chapter 8 . 10/4/2009
Well I'm very relieved that Deoric is being well cared for for now. Where is his wolf now? I'm intrigued...
| Morthoron chapter 8 . 10/4/2009
Excellent chapter, V. I particularly liked the warts (doesn't everyone enjoy a goiter now and then?), and the vivid description of the old crone's cottage - although I think a cotter would use rushes rather than sand for the floor, particularly in an area devoid of beaches or dunes. Otherwise, I could literally smell the rank, garlicky reek eminating from the interior of the cottage (reason enough for Deoric to retch). Good job!
Also, the wolf bit has come to a realistical conclusion (I was hoping it wouldn't turn into a 'Deoric the Wolf-Boy' saga). Although I foresee a little lupine interference down the road perhaps. ;)
Niggle: The old woman's speech pattern does not remain consistent. You start with “Does the head still hurt?” But the subsequent dialogue is clearer and more grammatically correct.
| Calenlass logged out chapter 8 . 10/4/2009
I liked the note about the wolves. Was interesting. :)
Poor Déoric, though. I wonder what'll become of his trip. And what will people be wondering when they realized he's been sidetracked?
Looking forward to more!
| KyMahalei chapter 8 . 10/4/2009
You hae really hit stride with this chapter. Great job! The characters contiue to emerge nicely and I like what you've done with the elderberry, the honey and the wolf. Your setting slides in quite smoothly with the narrative. Winter imagery is particulary well done. I love the clear, crisp images you conjured with your words. I also love the plot threads you have going right now. I am sitting on my hands waiting impatiently for the next chapter.
| AC2 chapter 7 . 9/23/2009
The opening scenes where Fana is geting used to life without Deoric are believable, and the parts where everyday life are exquisitely described are vivid and affecting.
The scene where the Gondorian has to take instruction from a Rohirric man is amusing, and I like the way he has to change his assumptions.
The philosophical conversation between Faramir and Eowyn give depth to the tale; it's always good to get readers to think! I wonder what got you to write this - a personal conviction born of experience? This is clearly a bugbear of yours. I like the way you've inserted it into the story. :D
It's best to connect the person with their speech. At one point you tell us what Faramir is doing, then put his speech in the next paragraph. It can be confusing, you see.
It was alien, unsmelled-of. I'm with Morthoron on this - it does seem a bit awkward. Perhaps you could go all Pratchett and describe the effects on him as he smells it or something.
There was a steep slope and at the bottom of it lay sprawled out the thing that smelled. Try, "At the bottom of the steep slope he saw the thing he had smelled."
The meeting scene has been discussed before - suffice to say the behaviour seems contrived. The wolf is too quick to settle down with the man, and not suspicious, like a wild creature would be. But it's your fic, and I'm interested to see where you take it.
The idea to include Celtic knot[w] patterns came from Dreamflower.
| Morthoron chapter 7 . 9/22/2009
Of course the most interesting aspect of this chapter was the vivid description of the wolf (although the bit with the bed bugs grounded the story quite well). I do have some reservations regarding a hungry (or half-hungry) bachelor wolf nuzzling a wounded creature (whether man or deer), but I would like to see where this arc goes.
Nice to see Eowyn one-upping Eomer. He needs some starch taken out of his shorts.
Niggle: 'It was alien, unsmelled-of.' I am not sure that 'unsmelled-of' is the descriptor you are looking for. It is rather ungainly.
| lindahoyland chapter 6 . 8/30/2009
I loved Deoric's musings about the is maturing a lot.A very vivid description of the rain and then what a chance of pace and a great cliffhanger.I'm loving this story!
| Morthoron chapter 6 . 8/30/2009
The last full paragraph and the few sentences that follow to end the chapter are perhaps the best you ever written. You are certainly growing as a writer. The terse phrases bulletpoint the action vividly, mirroring the maddening motion and desperate thoughts as Déoric tumbles.
Déoric's presents a rather nihilistic view of himself as he rejects any chrysalitic metaphor. Or was Déoric more the existenialist - existence preceding essence - the concrete over the hypothetical and all?
| Lialathuveril chapter 6 . 8/30/2009
I really liked the descriptions of the autumn landscape in this chapter, very nice atmosphere. And now I wonder what's going to happen to poor Déoric and if that strange tree had anything to do with Ents (although it might be a red herring). Oh, and what happened to his paints!
So I'm looking forward to the next chapter (hint, hint) ;-)
P.S. one niggle (I always have them). Théodred fell on the eyot in the middle of the Fords of Isen and the burial mound was erected there.
| blacksleeves chapter 6 . 8/29/2009
Oh, a cliffhanger! Well done!
| AC2 chapter 6 . 8/29/2009
Oh, poor Deoric!
The scenes in the Hornburg juxtaposed with the squalor of the failed attempts to shelter in the caves, then the attack on the moorland in the rain make us even more sympathetic to Deoric and Aldfrid in their plight.
Reading this felt like watching a film. I could almost see the camera zooming in on Deoric's face as the rain spattered down on him at the bottom of the slope. This is excellent work!
Why not?.I can but fail.
| Lialathuveril chapter 5 . 8/28/2009
I'm sorry I'm so late getting to your story. First I was away on holiday, then real life interfered.
However, I've enjoyed seeing what has become of Déoric. And you've got some very nice description of late summer and the interesting little details about the painting craft are obviously well-researched. I also enjoyed the challenge his friend had to fulfil. Can't go wrong with ribbons ;-)
Now I wonder what's up with the paints as you've obviously got something up your sleeve. Looking forward to more!
P.S: one small thing that really threw me is the image of Eomer eating soufflés.
| blacksleeves chapter 5 . 8/27/2009
I wonder what those villagers will think if they find out that their stories are written down! Thanks!