Guest chapter 3 . 5/25/2017
Grammar is incorrect
Guest chapter 18 . 1/7/2015
Edward does not cuss, you are tainting his class and culture. and you should prob. use spell check before you post these, the word confusion makes you hard to read. Other than that you are a good writer and I enjoy reading you .
emma chapter 19 . 10/26/2013
ok so i should have done this sooner but i just had to keep reading its great and every thing he thinks is spot on to what i would think he would think, love it :)
Guest chapter 22 . 7/11/2013
i tink almost everything is good except the two last chapters
Kat chapter 3 . 6/23/2013
Okay, I've read some pretty mean reviews after I posted those previous two. I swear that I'm not trying to be mean or rude or anything! Most of the reviews reviewing about your grammar have bad grammar themselves, so don't let them get to you! So many people don't even bother to at least attempt to write correctly! Anyway, I just really wanted to tell that you have a great future in writing... if you inprove on spelling and increase your vocabulary... and use quotation marks. Other that that, you're good!
Kat chapter 3 . 6/23/2013
Yeah... I just can't read any more of this. I'm sorry, but the grammar's too horrible and I don't know what gkadky means( in the disclaimer ). Anyway, I'll find what I'm looking for by another person. Sorry!
Kat chapter 2 . 6/23/2013
Okay, no offense, but the story has horrible grammar, and, what? No quotation marks? Why! Having a mom who teaches school and me having straight A's in all my classes, I know a thing or two about grammar, spelling, past tense, and word choice. On the other hand, I love the story so far! It's juat a bit hard to read.
TwilightLover3 chapter 14 . 6/9/2013
Your ideas are pretty good, and also it is your writting.
I only recomend you to cheek your grammar and verbs. Keep working, you have a bright future ahead! :)
Jessica chapter 7 . 2/14/2013
Twihard-rossy98 chapter 22 . 10/22/2012
Best Fan Fiction thing I have read for new moon! Definitely reading more of your stories!
Sky-Angel14 chapter 21 . 4/27/2012
jn chapter 17 . 9/11/2010
very nice honey
maria chapter 4 . 8/30/2010
this chapter is good, but the grammar is terrible. SORRY!
Agent California chapter 1 . 5/20/2010
Okay, I have to be honest. The strength of will it took for me to read this chapter alone astounds me. Even in the world of pedophilia and necrophilia that makes up the Twilight fandom this is an abomination. The grammar is unworthy of being compared to a chimpanzee on pot, and the writing reminded me of the short stories my five year old neighbors sometimes show me, minus the cute drawings and overall appeal. The descriptions weren't horrible, they were down right pathetic, and failed to even remotely capture my attention without extreme effort on my part, and I should not be working up a sweat trying to read four pathetically composed pieces of shit when I could be spending my time reading something that at least has the common courtesy not to make me lose my lunch. Your teachers have my most sincere condolences on having to read such absolute shit every time you turn in an assignment. I beg you, if you EVER have the idea to write something else, don't. You'd be doing the world a favor.
gigi chapter 3 . 5/16/2010
that was soo sad but sooo good
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