|Reviews for Gomenasai Captain|
| Madin456 chapter 8 . 6/3/2011
loved it!and i also like how you added characters at the beginning and end:)
| Silver Kitsune Lunaria chapter 8 . 2/1/2010
I'm depressed. That's the end. Come on!
Aren't you going ot write a sequal?
But I still love how you did this story though since it has an oc that's not a Mary Sue and has original characters that ain't ooc. I'm looking forward to more Toshiro/oc stories from you.
I can't seem to write something like so it helps to read a well thought sorry. It was a treat.
| Silver Kitsune Lunaria chapter 7 . 2/1/2010
Wow! Sweet! Poor Toshiro didn't get the chance to tell her. It's kinda sad.
I noticed some grammer errors in this chapter though.
"You're Captain's not going to dislike you so stop worrying over nothing."
I hope you know that 'You're' is short for 'you are'. The correct word you want is 'your' which is a possessive word.
"Sighing lightly to himself, he glanced back at Tsubaki and I managed to smile faintly. "Well, we better get moving then. We don't want them to start off without us Tsubaki."
That whole thing is a little awkard to read since it starts off with third person than progressed to first person. Sould the whole thing be first person?
Other wise this chapter is sweet because its graduration for Toshiaro and your oc. I loved it how you kept both in characters in character along with character development.
| Larkfall chapter 8 . 2/1/2010
A great ending to a wonderful story, bringing everything full circle back to where it started.
| Larkfall chapter 7 . 2/1/2010
Great chapter, Toshiro got interrupted at the worst time but that was funny.
| Silver Kitsune Lunaria chapter 6 . 1/16/2010
Sorry for reviewing sooner.
I don't see why you need to add another chapter unless you decided to have Toshiro confess or something. Oh wait, how about he tries but either fails or something happens so he couldn't say anything or at the last minute decides not to confess his feelings? That could work right?
Or Toshiro has a preminition (spelling)about the furure or dream about his 'love'. A really cute dream that has him out of it for a while.
I'm just rambling here but if you have questions or something then drop a pm.
| Silver Kitsune Lunaria chapter 5 . 1/7/2010
Sorry for not posting a review to your previous chapter! T-T
Well, I read both chapter 4 and 5. I love how you kept Toshiro in character. Him realizing that he loved Tsubaki Abarai was so him and so sweet and cute. Then having him envious of Gin was a plus. I can't blame him though because of Gin is but it was a nice touch though.
Keep up the good work and I look forward to another chapter.
| Larkfall chapter 5 . 1/7/2010
This was interesting having Toshiro jealous of Gin. Your stories are always so well written.
| Larkfall chapter 4 . 1/1/2010
Thank you for getting this chapter out. And your right this was the perfect way to start off the new year. Another great chapter to another wonderful story it keeps getting better with the more you write and shed light on the characters. Happy New Years and I hope you continue to write.
| Silver Kitsune Lunaria chapter 3 . 11/26/2009
Sorry for spacing out here! I don't recall you updating or me getting the update. I'm very sorry about that!
Awesome as always! I love how you protrayed Toshiro so well. I love Toshiro very much and loved how he stayed in character.
The tiny bits of information about your own character makes her more whole for each time you add something. You are makeing her more round and it's rare to see people write ocs like that. Congrates for not making her not a Mary Sue.
The connection between her and Toshiro is coming together greatly and it doesn't seemed rushed or anything of the sort.
I love how you take the time to make your story flow and to have no flaws, at least not in my eyes. It feels like I reading a book by a famous author. It's great and keep up the good work.
| Larkfall chapter 3 . 9/26/2009
This is another well written story and chapter.
I hope you continue writing this and other stories I really like your writing style.
| Larkfall chapter 2 . 8/12/2009
Its good to see that your continuing to write this so I guess you got over your writers block. It was a good idea to keep it in Toshiro's POV that and just the way your writing the story make it all the more interesting. Well I hope that you continue writing and that you get the next chapter out soon.
| Silver Kitsune Lunaria chapter 2 . 8/11/2009
Sorry for taking so long to read and review this! Me bad! -_-
It's pretty insightful. It show's a bit about the past and everything. Pretty good. The only problem I seen is that you have two sayings in one paragraph when it's a common rule to paragraph each saying that each characters says.
I love it though. Keep up the good work.
| Larkfall chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
A well written story the way you wrote it was different and interesting. I think you should try to write farther with this. I hope you get past your writers block soon.
| Silver Kitsune Lunaria chapter 1 . 7/22/2009
Story in itself is really nice and well writen but the fact that the whole text seemed to be all scrounched up made me lose my place a couple of times while I was reading it. Personaly, I think it should be spaced out like your conversation with Ikakku.
Other wise, it's pretty nice. I like it. I have a rough time figuring out who the first person was but his (I assume it's a guy so correct me if I'm wrong.) point of view was but I think it's Toshiro and it's really well writen. I see so few stories that are so well writen. It's sad.
Who's Tsubaki? Maybe you should do a back story/flashback in the next chapter because I have a strange feeling that she's a oc. And I'm kinda confused.
Thanks for writing something that's well polished.