|Reviews for The Forgotten Wizard|
| WhyGiveaUsername chapter 6 . 7/3/2014
Hello I am interested in adopting this and posting it on wattpad.
| Guest chapter 6 . 10/21/2013
has anyone adopted this fic yet?
| Chi Vayne chapter 2 . 8/22/2013
"They had not wanted to forget about him, they had loved him dearly..." - I don't believe that love is that careless or neglectful. Love can be cruel, but it isn't indifferent, and that seems to be how the Potter parents treated Harry. So the Potter parents are deluding themselves that they loved Harry.
| DizzyDiana chapter 6 . 1/13/2013
I would love to give this story a shot. I think I know how to continue this story from here.
| CrimsontheBloodyDemonKing chapter 6 . 1/12/2013
If/when someone adopts this story or you are able to continue could you give us an update on who has adopted it?
| Guest chapter 6 . 10/16/2012
Sigh... Change the damn summary aswell... Be ouse ofthat you made me read a story thats never going to be finiahed...
| johnjohn chapter 6 . 10/16/2012
such a great story i hope someone adopts it and actually finishes it,seems like it could be done in 20 chapters
| Olaf74 chapter 6 . 10/16/2012
This Story is simply put FANTASTIC!
| cinammon-roll chapter 6 . 10/16/2012
Hey my name is Diana and I'm interested in adopting your story. I'm really sad that you aren't going to finish it, but I would really appreciate if you would give me a chance. I'm currently helping someone with the format of their story on . It is a reading the books on Harry Potter however due to the fact that they took down her story we are just working on the rewriting the chapters while she looks for a website to repost her story. I would like the opportunity to be able to adopt your story. I would give you credit for everything and if you like I could run my ideas through you first. I would really appreciate it if you would please consider me to adopt your story. If you would like to know anything else about me you can just pm me. Thank-You!
| Loza101 chapter 5 . 8/8/2012
HOLY FLIPPING SHIT! THIS IS AMAZING! please update soon, this is an amazing! story there aren't enough of them around and i love them to pieces! Keep writing and update soon you amazing write you
| Guest chapter 5 . 7/12/2012
Loving this fic!
Will you be continuing it?
Would love to rad the reactions of Dumbledore and the Potter's when the truth is revealed!
Then the general public's reaction to the fact they fawned over and sent presents to the wrong child... I personally hope they feel cheated
| BenignViewer chapter 5 . 3/25/2012
While I don't mind the action being fast paced, in yur story everything seems to be on full throttle. Within the space of a few days Harry has demonstrated incredible powers, ruthlessness towards death eaters, has won over long-time members of Dumbledore's order and shown both cold heartedness and compassion to people who have neglected him most of his life.
The emotional pacing in this fic is far too hectic, and I can't empathise or really understand your character all that well as he does an about face so quickly. That is something you can work on, and I know from my own experience is not easy to do. You can't rush emotional depth and creating that, especially in an AU story is a long process as the character needs to be reintroduced to the readers as if he were a new one, so we can see where the differences are, and how they affect him both overtly, and introvertedly.
Also you mentioned about getting a beta, which is always good, but I would recommend another, perhaps more, because there are far too many grammar mistakes getting through. Another, and another again, pair of eyes going over this should help, but in all honesty mistakes like these:
"The scene that received was..." which should be "scene that they recieved" (also I question the use of 'recieved' as the best verb in this case)
"They had managed to create a lot of damage, even some killings..." - should be "created" or "caused a lot of damage" and "even killed some of the..." or "even some deaths..."
"In peace times I would..." - should be "In time of peace" or "In peaceful times"
"What do you want? You came to goad, to state how much more powerful you are than me?" - should be "Have you come to show off..." 'Goad' is entirely the wrong adjective to use in this situation - Hermione is actually goading them (also 'state' is another awkward verb choice you'd be better of saying "to rub in")
As I was saying these mistakes are far to pronounced and numerous in your story, and really shouldn't be being posted, whether you have a beta or not. It's something a re-read by yourself can solve, and this will make things much easier on your beta to.
Despite my criticism, your story has an interesting premise and the idea of an established relationship is original to my knowledge. I would like to se this story improved and expanded it has a lot of potential. I Hope I've given you some food for thought.
All the best;
| solsticephoenix57 chapter 5 . 3/16/2012
cool story :) update soon please!
| MzBellezza chapter 5 . 2/5/2012
tht is so wrong i cant even finish please please pretty please finish this story i love it
| sanbeegoldiewhitey chapter 5 . 12/19/2011
You have a good story here and you have the ability to complete it but I guess not the will. Harry was too quick to forgive Susan and Hannah and already he is getting soft on Lily. The only reason those people want Harry's forgiveness is because Harry turned out to be more powerful than Matt. I think Harry should oust Dumbles as leader of the OOTP because not killing the enemies in a war is just plain stupid.