|Reviews for Fire|
| flow chapter 1 . 5/15/2011
You messed up some places but that was a greatstory
| One in the Shadows chapter 1 . 11/20/2010
Oh... my... god... My eyes are bleeding...
| Scarecrow chapter 1 . 10/30/2010
No offense, but you need alot of practicing if you want positive reviews. If you can, try to rewrite this or improve your writing next time you post a story. Have a nice day.
| hyknight2 chapter 1 . 8/8/2010
I have never read this series so can you please tell me what the first book is called and who the author is? Thanks.
P.S. I am the author of Ashford so if you would be so kind as to comment I would be so happy. I haven't finished the first chapter so it doesn't really take off until about the fith chapter, wich I have written in a notebook but not online. Thanks!
| 2lazy2login chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
Is it just my computer, or are all your stories this one? Seriously, most every story on your profile is the same one as this.
Now, for the review:
I can't say it sucks, because that would be flaming and i dont flame. However, this is about the closest I will ever get because this story commits every crime against grammar possible, makes a four year old wince when reading it, and I really, for the life of me, can't see the connection with Age of Fire.
Please take this down and maybe, when you're better at writing, repost it. Good day.
| Shadowxwolf chapter 1 . 1/4/2010
First of all: WTF? If this has a link to Age of Fire I cannot see it, and so, I'm agreeing with HawkPen on most if not all points. Please remove this fic NOW because it is an offence to the English language. A toddler could do better.
| notacactus chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
I don't know where to start. Your chapters are not even a paragraph, filled with run on sentances. We get no background on the characters, all we get is there name and the fact that your main character is a Mary Sue from hell. Then we get a stupid second "chapter" that makes no sense at all. By the basic rules of monarchy, the King or Queen retains their place until, death, retirement, or revolt of the people. Now reading your story has me so pissed off I can't think of what else to criticize.
| sebastian123 chapter 1 . 10/11/2009
like the story pleas more
| dragontiger12 chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
sorry to sound harsh, but yeah, i've gotta agree with hawkpen on most things.
did you maybe get the wrong fandom?
i know everyone looks for a good, positive review for their fic or something, but i can't give one.
i wish i could just give a harsh flame-type reveiw without feeling bad, but i can't do that either. i wouldn't give up writing, if you really like it.
| HawkPen chapter 1 . 7/25/2009
No, that is not a good wow. This is one of the worst wows I have ever given anybody.
There is no description, plot, or flow. You murder puncuation just about everywhere, and you're dialogue needs restructuring.
Even worse: What does this have to do with the Age of Fire? Please, do tell me. I see nothing that correlates between this shit-fic and Age of Fire.
I will be honest here: This ties for worst story I have ever seen in my years on FF. This sucks, and you are not even CLOSE to becoming a decent writer.
You need a LOT more practice. When you publish your work on FF, you are vulnerable. Anyone can say anything they want about your story.
You have not read the site rules, and you are not 13. If you actually are 13, I will go cry. Why? Because this is the effort of the 4-year-old. Honestly. Not even joking.
You're positive review? Obviously your friend. S/He either knows nothing about writing or is lying to you to make you feel better.
Let's go over all the site rules you have broken:
1. Not chaptering using chaptering feature
2. Under 13
3. Did not proofread
4. Murdered the English language.
5. Posting original work in a fandom
Please destroy your work and wait to come back until you can actually write, because you obviously cannot right now.
| Angels-Black-Roses chapter 1 . 7/24/2009
Good job I like it, now are u gonna do any twilight stories before school starts? cant wait to c u in class