|Reviews for Magical Girl Nanoha 12?|
| Armiture chapter 10 . 11/20/2020
I'm not familiar with this arc and I hope you name it in the next chapter. From other crossovers I'm familiar with the Precia/Fate arc and the Book of Darkness arc but sadly new have gone past that arc.
I'm looking forward to seeing something new on the TSAB side and seeing just how messed up the Ranma side of things have become.
| Janitor chapter 6 . 12/31/2019
This story is okay, although it feels more in the line of cotton candy—a lot of sweet fluff but no good substance throughout. The strengths are difficult to pin down as it's an easy read, the technical aspects are mostly okay save for battle choreography, which is a critique further along. Harmless & lighthearted, I have to say if there's an issue, it's the over-reliance on canon. Instead of writing your story, you're simply following the beats of Nanoha's canon without sense of deviation or investment in character growth.
I can use Fate as an example because even canon makes it simple...simple in that it shows her trauma and then sweeps it under a rug for the duration of the franchise, instead burying the character in warm fuzzies in lieu of actual growth over the many flaws and obstacles she should have as a blatant victim of child abuse. You opted to do the very same thing, pausing only to have Ranma clumsily disrupt what was a tense moment for Fate in canon to no positive or, more importantly, dynamic effect. Ranma stealing the jewels and owning Precia had no telling change: she still dies, as does Alicia (at least as of my knowledge via ch6), and next we see Fate she is a relatively balanced child who has no issues whatsoever going along with Ranma & Nanoha's shenanigans.
The result is that while the story is lighthearted and easy reading, there's no real investment in the beats of the story or the characters. I can skip whole paragraphs because you're following the rhythm of Nanoha's canon so closely that I don't even need to fear heavy alterations or a different outcome. Ranma & Fate get to Nanoha and don't change a single result—Shamal still brutalizes Nanoha's core & the crew get their asses handed to them by the Wolkenritter. The crew corner the knights and effectively checkmate them but Graham's catgirls bail them out as expected. I expect a not-so-lengthy montage next that should contain at least two 1-on-1 duels (substituting Nanoha for Ranma, I suppose), heel-face turns with the catgirls, and probably a Final Fantasy last boss fight complete with Ranma likely on a sideline twiddling his thumbs until it comes time for the timeskip where they have to deal with pesky hormones or somesuch.
I've found in my years that this style of fanfic writing is best remedied by thinking what you want to write (romance, adventure, suspense, drama, etc), plotting the end out, and then organizing how you'll get to the end. If your ending is prepared, then you don't need to concern yourself with beats of the canon nearly as much and are free to tell your perspective story with the borrowed characters.
One character change I would recommend addressing, if you pick this back up, is Ranma. Specifically, he's at the age where he should be training, and his father should be far more of both a help and a hindrance, instead of an off-hands stage prop. This isn't being pointed out for the sake of something silly like powerlevels, but because integral bits of Ranma's character formed from learning from Genma, and learning what he DIDN'T want to emulate from Genma. Nanoha,'s canon, as I pointed out, has a very ingrained habit of taking potential character developments, positive & negative, and sweeping them under a rug until the finale magically grants them resolution to complex issues. The point being, Nanoha is likely to throw your most catalyst-ready character into a rut and that would need addressing.
About all I can think of. Good luck on your future writings.
| Ranmaleopard chapter 14 . 11/6/2019
This is just really interesting and I wish it wasn't abandoned. I personally am rooting for Ranma/Nanoha/Fare pairing. I wish this was continued
| V01dSw0rd chapter 9 . 8/7/2019
I get the feeling there are a bunch of crossovers integrated somewhat... any way to learn what they are based on?
For example, the one with “Justified Wrath”.
| Maelaeran chapter 8 . 7/24/2019
The fight scene could have really benefited from some line breaks, as it was kind of a clusterfuck to read through.
| Maelaeran chapter 3 . 5/24/2019
This is easily one of the most engrossing Ranma fics that I've read, if only because there is a distinct lack of any character bashing that is so prevalent in fanfiction in general. What catapults it to the top of the pile of fic is the solid character interaction and personal growth displayed by the main characters as well as excellent bits of humor and drama.
| Steve chapter 9 . 4/15/2019
No. Just fuck no. Why I hoped for something better in Nanoha/Ranma 1/2?
At this point I'm not even disappointed. This is just pathetically sad.
| Steve chapter 9 . 4/15/2019
Ah, yes, 'Honor'. We have dismissed this claim.
Seriously. One of many things in Ranmna 1/2 that trigger my "This is retarded!" button.
| King of fans chapter 1 . 6/23/2018
I like the freandship there building.
You know every time ranma said girls are weaker, the more I want to threw him into spring of drowned girl, or see his reaction when all the view his father drilled into him is washed away when fate and nanoha get into serious combat.
My only concerned is ranma being able to help. Sheer ranma at the age of ten my be strong enough to help handle the weaker monsters. However, with his training trip only at the halfway point and not knowing any of his major attacks he would be easily overwhelmed by the beaker monsters, the dog, and fate. The best ranma can do right now when the level of the fights goes up is to either act as emotional support, or give nanoha battle advice and Basic training in hand to hand combate and ki manipulation.
Unless he can figure out how to go into the Nico ken when he needs to, and not harm his friends, or gets his father to teach him the umisankin and its sister style.
| tarrangar chapter 13 . 5/31/2018
So the Amazons for once got what they deserve I see, a shame they managed to fake the reports, so they didn't catch the flak they deserve diplomatically.
| tarrangar chapter 3 . 5/31/2018
I really hate that people just go along with a foreign power saying they will be drafting Nanoha. Yeah I know that's canon and all, but I still hate the TSAB's arrogance, in treating people not of their nation, nor in their nation, as beholden to their laws.
| Lerris chapter 16 . 5/20/2018
This is a good story. Worst case, if you wanted to call it done, you could add a paragraph or two where they get together to head out to another unspecified mission together as the scene fades.
Of course if you wanted to write more, that works too, as I said, this is a good story...
| RoseBloodmane chapter 1 . 3/29/2018
Lol his magic level is rated D. Haha she's better then you. How you like that? Girls can do anything a boy can do so that who thing about being better then Nanoha is stupid.
| Grey Sanders chapter 16 . 2/18/2018
I was fun, I enjoy it and I wish you could do some more... and Ranma should get a threesome marrige at least with Fate and Nanoha, but if Sigmud, and Vita want to join too...
| SixPerfections chapter 16 . 1/12/2018
It’s been years.. but still. This was a fun ride. My only regret is that Ranma didn’t end up with even a bit of romance towards either/both fate plus Nanoha. Also your Pervy Nanoha was simply brilliant. Thanks :)