|Reviews for TF G1 The Cure|
| vamptigergal chapter 1 . 3/8
So what was the list? Before Prowl jumped on to the top five?
| vamptigergal chapter 15 . 2/25
Can I adopt this fic? It's vamptigergal from DA...
| Tasemaas chapter 15 . 8/13/2015
Please continue i really love your work and your writing. Waiting with ecxitement! :)
| ambernlucas95 chapter 15 . 7/26/2015
Hey read them all and I love them would love to read more I love how parts made me cry others made me laugh and some I couldn't wait to see what happened next.
| ANIMELOVER69 chapter 11 . 6/29/2015
OMG this is the funniest thing I have every read I am dieong laughing!
| Retired 14 August 2015 chapter 15 . 5/8/2015
Keep going with the writing! You're doing wonderfully and I've already read your fanfiction like a dozen times! So please update soon! :)
| lol chapter 15 . 4/26/2015
Why was a femme have a mech body part
| Unknown chapter 12 . 1/21/2015
Wow just wow
| unknown chapter 8 . 1/20/2015
Rachets wrench throwing skills should be used in the field. I mean really his blind aim is AMAZING
| The Fox Familiar chapter 15 . 12/28/2014
Lol, Bumblebee talking about privacy and dignity. The whole music/dance scene sounded like a Jerry Springer twerking scene, in which the author tries so hard to make it important that it just falls flat on its face. BB should not be talking about privacy or dignity because he has neither and gushes about his exploits like everyone else, like a gossiping teenager.
“Blur of pleasure” – Drink.
“Cry out in pleasure” – Drink.
I might have missed a few, or a lot, but the fact remains: the amount of times I caught you abusing this word was beyond the normal limit. It got to the point where it was above repetitiveness. Not only do you not know how to use a dictionary, you can’t use a thesaurus or learn a thing called pacing. Now that we are at the end, I shall present my findings.
This was bad. Unspeakably bad. Hilariously bad. As all you write is bad porn, these reviews will also apply to your AO3 account and the works there.
You cannot keep characters in character, and your attempt at giving the ‘middle finger’ to society as a whole shows me how much of a complete imbecile you are. If this is your attempt at creating a utopia, I guess it’s a utopia of sexual abuse, rape, screaming teenagers as robots, and a bunch of people screwing each other endlessly. It got to the point where there was no emotion to be felt other than primitive sexual feeling, which is the basic response in porn. You couldn’t even get the positions right and most of the time I was going ‘WTF?!’ in regards to their positions.
Now, a word about the characters. Jazz and Prowl want Bumblebee to feel safe and secure, yet abuse him in every way imaginable. Prowl did it in the first chapter, Bumblebee, being a rape victim, didn’t raise objections, and in the whole cascade of rapes and rapists, all I could see was the author’s pitiful attempt at getting people to believe how much she means to the world. This is why people hate SJWs. This is why people hate you as a whole. You are a lazy, untalented author and you know what sells. It’s a shame how much people are willing to lap it up. But I don’t, because I see you for what you are.
You’re not bisexual. You’re just a mentally ill, socially confused woman who failed university, who failed her art classes (seriously, how can something with as bad drawing skills as you get a degree in 3-D art?) who failed every other class, who couldn’t keep a job and blamed other people for it, who didn’t understand why people overlooked her and continue to do so, and this is why:
You lack tact and grace and talent. The reason why you are not considered is because you are not good enough, and because you don’t bother to try. Society doesn’t accept you so you go to tumblr, post and reblog bad Transformers porn and live in a world where people accept you. You live in a pool of filth and expect people to pat you on the back. You complain about kids on DA not accepting criticism, yet here you are, doing the things you claim them of doing.
It’s amusing to see tumblristas stop their snark and go on full harpy mode when someone tells them the truth.
Your work will also be reported for its explicit sexual content. All of it. I don’t care if you run and hide to AO3, scream to tumblr how I was so nasty to you, or whatever. You are a horrible writer and a person and you need to either get on some meds, or get off the Internet. Your ‘girlfriend’, if you even know her, or even if you’re sure about your sexual attraction, has not bothered to help you. She’s just manifested your sexual desires.
This entire story was about the author getting the sexual arousal she will never get from a man. All of it screamed repressed female, and the dialogue, action, and more all screamed female. You could not keep your vagina out of the work, and so, the mediocrity shows. Actually, mediocrity is too tame a word for it.
What it is, is shit.
Society isn’t oppressing you. No one is. You’re oppressing yourself. Society’s ‘standards’ are there to make sure society is SAFE from people like you. It’s people like ME who put those standards in place. If you don’t like them, go create a new society where polyamorous freaks can enjoy their abusive relationships. You did not create a healthy polyamorous relationship because such a thing doesn’t exist. You’re a bold-faced liar, a bad writer, and a disgusting individual.
You shall be crowned a new Miss Fritzl. Fitting, don’t you think?
All those nya-nyas and nnghs during the sex makes me think of the Nyan Cat. I could really use a pop-tart, but you’d probably make a hentai out of that, too.
- Unrealistic sex scenes
- Female characters masquerading as dudes
- Author trying not to stick her kinks and illness into the story
- Bad sex
- Bad sex talk
- No plot
- More sex
I give it an F...for Fritzl.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 14 . 12/28/2014
The Decepticons are attacking another research facility whose purpose is unknown. If you can’t make it important, how is the audience supposed to believe that it is? The whole battle scenes don’t make sense and I don’t think you care, anyways. The dialogue in between is lifeless and unimportant, as well as the cache of characters.
Wheeljack is interested in femmes and yet allowed BB to have sex with him. Makes absolute sense.
I’m not bothered to read every line because it bores me senseless and there’s nothing worth picking out of it. I should say that the dialogue of just about everyone is inherently female. The biting of the lower lip, the anxieties, the gossip, the downright giggles and squees, it’s all female. It’s an admission a lot of writers do in their writing but won’t come out and actually say it.
Bumblebee is now wearing a dog collar – totally not a fetish at all – and he’s getting hard water sprayed into his sensitive parts after being repaired from an explosion. You do realize water at high velocities can tear apart metal? That’s why you need to clean vehicles with soft water pressure so you don’t tear off the paint.
Why is Prowl lecturing Bumblebee about battle tactics and reason when everything he has done for the entire story is a direct contradiction to his own logic? He shouldn’t be saying this because it would mean his premises are all wrong; that he’s operating not on fact or logic, but on feeling and sensual pleasure, which would overload his systems because they couldn’t interpret such contradictions.
Prowl also saying that claiming another person as property is a bad thing is also a contradiction, because he and Jazz did just that. He’s just upset that the Twins are getting more ass than he is. I do not believe a word out of his mouth because he’s a flat-out liar and hypocrite – just like you.
“The question of trust never seemed to come to mind” – So Bumblebee doesn’t trust his lovers. He just gives them what he wants. It’s a very one-sided love, don’t you think?
“Overwrought with pleasure” – Drink.
“Mechanomeasure of pleasure” – Drink.
“Nnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!” – HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!
I’ll also combine a bit of chapter 15 with this one, which is thankfully the last. We’ll have a few more flames and my last word.
We have more sex scenes, this time a foursome, with burning ozone and other fluids, which honestly sounds disgusting. Boner killed.
You are horrible at writing sex scenes. At anything, really. Your beta couldn’t tell you the truth, so this is where I come in. There is no plot to this work, every character is emotionless, hypocritical, abusive, and outright dickwads that think they’re decent friends. I wouldn’t fight beside these assholes even if they were the winning team. Bumblebee is supposed to be the sweet, innocent virgin, yet he welcomes everyone’s advances and abuse on him and wonders why he feels so sad.
The same goes for Sunstreaker and everyone else. This is not how abuse victims react, or act, and this is not how you create a serious work.
I’d say it was a waste. 200,000 words of absolutely nothing.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 13 . 12/28/2014
Bumblebee survives an explosion that exposes his spark casing no problem, goes through emotional reflections that sound like Dragon Age morals, and his butt-buddies are too busy thinking about him to do their jobs. Everyone thinks Bumblebee is one of the most compassionate mechs on the Ark, yet all of them wish to sexually take advantage of him. Like I’ve said before: this military is abominable. No sane person would think this way. If these people were preying on female soldiers, we’d never hear the end of it. In this case, it’s totally acceptable. I do love pointing out hypocrisies.
Spike and Carly appear and they do absolutely nothing. Bumblebee claims to respect Spike, but since he doesn’t respect himself or his fellow comrades, he has no room to talk. It’s like you sincerely believe this set-up that you don’t even notice that it wouldn’t even take off even with all rockets attached.
Spike is also unrealistically accepting of robotic polygamy. This was the ‘80’s. The AIDS crisis was beginning and hatred of homosexuals permeated through American culture. Carly is also accepting of it, too. Spike is also accepting of the fact that Bumblebee is a confessed rapist. If there were anyone in this story with a sense of justice, Bumblebee would have his spark torn out of him and his body used as an intergalactic shit-can. Your delusions speak clearer than anyone else in this story.
You cannot expect people to believe such inaccurate, unrealistic and borderline abusive relationships like these and call them love or a call for social acceptance. Any sane person would laugh in your face and tell you to get back on your meds. This is more or less your excuse for polyamorous relationships and you are proving how they do not work and the actual levels of abuse involved in them.
So a half congratulations to you.
Another sex scene. Another drinking game.
“Scream of pleasure” – Drink.
“I don’t want to feel used” – Oh, Bumblebee. If you had any rationale, you’d discover this sooner.
Bumblebee’s girlfriend also shows up and so does his rapist. Oh, I can’t wait to see the long paragraphs detailing his emotional struggle and more excuses for the rapist. The list of contradictions just grows, doesn’t it? Prowl and Jazz used Bumblebee, the Twins used Bumblebee, Bumblebee raped everyone, Bumblebee got raped, Sunstreaker got raped as a kid and sexually used Bumblebee, et cetera, et cetera. I guess you forgot these details – oh, wait! You admit that you did.
I’ll also combine this review with the next chapter – chapter 14.
Is everyone on this ship a free-loving hippie? Of course Hot Rod has to be the rapist, because that’s totally not indicative of the author’s hatred for him!
“Thrashing slightly in ecstasy” – Drink.
“Pleasure shooting in hot waves” – Drink. Bee is also recovering and yet doesn’t have anything torn from the sex.
“Pleasure ebbed” – Drink.
“Haze of ecstasy” – Drink.
Uh-oh. We have Hot Rod trying to rape BB despite the latter being a rapist himself. What’s the big deal? Of course we have to have this cliché, too. Lemme guess: it’s a secret metaphor for how women are abused by drunk men. Are there seriously no cameras on the Ark? What’s everybody doing? Oh, hell, they’re all a bunch of fucktards, so leave ‘em be.
“Pleasure to sooth the tension” – Drink. More sex between Sunstreaker and Bumblebee, but at this point it’s so meaningless that I can’t be affected by it.
“Cried out in ecstasy” – Drink.
And there’s another Decepticon sabotage scene. More detail on it next chapter.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 12 . 12/28/2014
Yes, Bumblebee, you’re coming to terms that you are a rapist. Don’t try to say otherwise. We also have another one of those sad backstories where Sunstreaker gets abused and the Josef Fritzl treatment. Sunstreaker got raped as a child, hates minibots and yet sexually abuses Bumblebee, and gets raped by Bumblebee. It sure is a harsh circle, eh? I don’t care. You’re shoe-horning these tragic backstories in order to add depth to these characters, but all it does it make you look like a shallow, insensitive, and most of all, fucked up individual.
Oh. I’m not being too harsh am I?
You know, I am still whole-heartedly amused at how hard you’re trying to make this story relevant. It has no plot, no action, no depth or course of action at all. Everyone’s OOC, they’re just talking heads and these evil plots are beyond childish. You are a full grown adult that writes like an 11-year-old Suethor trying her hand at sex scenes. The Evil Rapists are out to rape everyone, the Autobots are a bunch of rapists themselves, and the Ark’s cameras went to shit during BB’s rape fest. Yes, because that is totally believable.
“If only they knew how emotionally messed up he was” – Cocky guy has secret emotional problems and a lot of hurt feelings cliché.
Sunstreaker is also making excuses for his rapist. That’s also totally realistic behaviour.
I should have also started a drinking game for the word ‘keen’.
“Nnnnnnnnnnngh!” – HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG.
“Secret dictator” – You know, a lot of chicks did send love letters to Hitler.
“Howl of pleasure” – Drink.
“Drawn out pleasure” – Drink.
“Rolling waves of pleasure” – Drink.
How did this whole chapter get to be 32,000 words? It’s a waste. All this chapter was was sex, sex, more sex, group sex, sex, excuses for rape, rape-fest, Miss Fritzl wetting herself at her own work, Miss Fritzl trying to convince her audience that she’s smart, sex, sex, oh, did I mention sex?
I’ll combine my review with the two chapters.
In the second half of the chapter, we have tons of exposition that doesn’t matter, characters not really doing anything, and the author proclaiming her love for Star Trek and her attempt at being funny. ‘Crack’ is supposed to be funny, but what is funny to a Transfan can be seen as unfunny and downright idiotic to a sane and rational person.
We have a research facility that is going to get blown up with explosive to power some cube-thingy that the audience doesn’t know what it’s for, what it does, or what effect it’s going to have on the plot. The author just says it’s a cube and inserts some pseudo-scientific explanations on how it’s going to work. If it’s any kind of research facility, I’d expect the Decepticons to be smarter and see what it is it’s researching. We don’t have that because we need some semblance of a plot line because the audience needs a break from scene after scene of sex.
Are you even aware of how tall Starscream is? A human being dropped from his height would shatter both of their legs. Starscream did not lower the human, you write him dropping him.
Bumblebee’s injury sounds severe and yet he hasn’t exploded himself yet. His Energon lines are exposed and his chest is blown open, and yet he’s still alive and well. Right. You can’t even write explosions or injuries right. If he heard ‘white noise’, and felt all that pain or whatnot, he should have, oh I don’t know, shielded himself? It’s really no different than the sex injuries he gets.
Sunstreaker has a case of bipolar syndrome and Mary-Sue love when he wants BB to suffer for his rape. Sideswipe tells him it’s nothing to worry about. Cue more emotional baggage and shit no one cares about. The paragraphs of blah blah blah don’t add to the plot. It’s just droning on and on and on and on and on...get the picture yet? You’re trying to make it a serious story and failing, if I haven’t told you this before.
Sideswipe’s speech to his brother sounds like a speech your girlfriend gave to you when you were in the dumps. It sounds so forced and unrealistic that it makes me wonder whether the author just made this story about her life. In that case, no one cares. Get on with it. Stop taking these characters that are not yours and screwing them up so badly no one recognizes them. Usually people get antsy when people mess up canon, but in this case, this is so far removed from canon it reads like fanfiction original fiction. There’s nothing remotely ‘human’ to these characters, no one can relate to them and all they are is a bunch of rapists that only think about who they are going to have sex with. If you cannot add any real resemblance of reality in your works, then you fail to be a writer. You’re just a pornographer, and a bad one at that.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 11 . 12/28/2014
You managed to fail jewellery class? How is that possible? If you managed to put forth effort and dedication to your work you wouldn’t fail anything. It seems the staple of laziness not only resonates through your online persona, but your real life form as well. That is simply lacking tact and grace.
In re-cap of the previous chapter, BB infiltrated an underwater base so he could collect vital information for the Autobots. When he gets injured, he suddenly makes it to the surface and everyone is hassling over him. I am reminded by the first chapter in which BB could have easily warned Prowl or approached the situation a lot smarter, and yet, the only way to save his life was through sex.
Beachcomber is a geologist and yet he’s being called in for narcotics. Sense this does not make. Do you even realize what a geologist does? Narcotics involved pharmacology and medicine, of which Beachcomber is not a specialist in. If you’re going to do a diagnosis of someone, get the specialists right. Now it’s a ‘Love-Bug’ virus? That’s not at all cheesy. Beachcomber also strangely sounds like one of those surfer dudes from ‘Lost Boys’. If he was able to do that good of an analysis with his fingers on geological substances, how come he wasn’t called into the mission earlier to confiscate the samples? Oh, right. That would make sense, but this has none.
An aphrodisiac...again, this is not a geologist’s speciality. Have a dictionary:
of rocks and minerals: the study of the structure of the Earth or another planet, especially its rocks, soil, and minerals, and its history and origins
of area: the rocks, minerals, and physical structure of a specific area
In order to find out if something is an aphrodisiac, they would need a chemist. Hell, get Ratchet to analyze it. He’s the proper expert. Do I also sense a bit of phallic symbolism? The cone penis? Will BB’s magic penis grow bigger with every step? Maybe his threesome with Prowl and Jazz will involve more ejaculation and human bodily fluids.
Back up there. You stated that BB during that state will have to ‘frag every mech he’s closest to’ but that the infection will go to them like an STD. Then you write that he has to do that or else his systems will overheat. You didn’t even bother to proofread, did you?
“Scream with pleasure” – Drink. You don’t even know how many times you’ve abused this word.
Lasciviously? That’s a new word. It’s probably the first time you’ve used a thesaurus. Have a dictionary:
: showing a desire for, or unseemly interest in, sex
: provoking lust
So BB’s robo-penis hurts and yet Prowl enjoys it anyways. They’re not even fully mobilized, either. You also can’t get the size right. You write him having a big one, one minute, and ‘small’ the next. You can’t penetrate deep if it’s as small as you write it is.
God, I need a bath after writing that.
“Scream in pleasure” – Drink.
“There wasn’t a single mech on the Ark without some curiously about their most innocent-natured crew member...” – So they all want to screw him, and BB is all too happy to oblige, despite his history. That’s not love. That’s borderline sexual abuse and objectification. Funny how feminists complain so much about that, yet are all too eager to lap it up in writing.
Sunstreaker is fearful about BB’s actions, but knowing the course, he’s going to learn to love it. You know what BB is doing is more or less rape, right? The other party is not fully consenting and their bodies are only responding to the stimuli. Nice to know you’re a rapist, too!
Ratchet sure does take his time finding the now-rapist Bumblebee. Funny how the rape victim becomes the rapist himself, because that is totally normal and acceptable behaviour, right?
“Why can’t he go ahead and frag whoever he wants?” – Because now he’s a rapist under narcotics. He’s now a despicable character that’s going to bring the rape-parade on every poor Autobot out there. Why? Because Reasons. Rape and rapey robots are sexy as Hell. I would also think the crew would actually get off their asses and lock BB up, because if they knew, for the slightest reason, that that’s what the drug does, they should have locked him in statis cuffs. Instead, they’re letting him run around freely, sexually abusing whoever. This is both the most retarded and disrespectful military out there. They are just letting this crap happen and don’t lift a finger to change it.
“NGAAAAAAAAAAA” – HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
Even Optimus Prime isn’t safe. Where was he during the whole incident? He should have been the one calling for the quarantine. He didn’t. Now he’s being groped by Bumblebee. Him. The Prime. The one that can take on Megatron and who is more or less Robo-Jesus.
“Tingle of pleasure” – Drink.
“Mewl of pleasure” – Drink.
“Ecstasy of that tiny port” – Drink.
‘Writed wantonly’? Here, have a dictionary:
indiscriminate: lacking restraint of inhibition, especially in sexual behaviour
: lacking reason or provocation
to do harm: done out of a desire to cause harm
: unrestrained, heedless of reasonable limits, or characterized by greed and extravagance
Sounds a lot like this fic.
“Cry of ecstasy” – Drink.
Do you even know how bad something smells when it burns, especially electrical fires? Cybertronians are sensitive to fire, more so than us, because Energon is flammable. If BB is overheating, or showing any signs of smoke, he can spontaneously combust, and put an end to the plethora of bad porn scenes.
That reminds me, Optimus Prime moaning and groaning and mewling in tiger sex is so out of character it’s almost treacherous.
Now they’re fisting each other. Alright...?
“Absolute ecstasy” – Drink.
“Waves of pleasure” – Drink.
This entire chapter was the author going full Lena Dunham. You portrayed Bumblebee as a rapist that screws as many robots as he can, when he has no control over his actions and neither do his victims. Not only that, but you write a few of them feeling physical pain and voice that they do not want to be penetrated. This was all for some elaborate, crack-y plot that is supposed to be funny. I’m not laughing and if anything, Antoine Dodson is going: “We have a rapist in the Ark.”
If you can’t summarize a chapter in a few sentences, then you’re just piling on drivel. This whole chapter was: Bumblebee was on drugs. He rapes people. He rapes Optimus Prime. Lots of fluids. Nobody cares.
End of chapter. I guess if your ship is full of idiots who rape and pillage and yet aren’t even half as good as Vikings, this would happen, but not in the Ark I know. Either everyone is a sex-deprived maniac in a harem on drugs, or are just good ole sex maniacs who rape, you decide. In any case, it’s still pure filth, but it’s getting to the point where it’s not even funny anymore. Maybe just a chuckle here and there, but I’m simply rolling my eyes by this point.
We still have a few more TL;DR chapters to go. The drinking game will continue and so will my snarks.
| The Fox Familiar chapter 10 . 12/28/2014
That’s right: you know nothing about espionage and nothing about physics, so don’t try to pass off either. NO ONE in this entire army is capable of espionage, because they’re too busy groping and molesting each other to do anything competent. That is, after all, how a WOMAN sees things. We shall see the WOMAN taint in this later on.
The Twins didn’t ‘act out of line’? They most certainly did, and their continued attitude proves it.
When every single robot is asking BB about his sex life and who he shagged late at night, it really shows how completely useless this army is. What’s this chapter supposed to be about, anyways? Preventing Soundwave from fixing his cassettes? How’d they get damaged in the first place?
“Come to my room and I’ll give you a debriefing” – You mean a quick fuck, right Jazz? That’s totally acceptable behaviour for an espionage mission, really.
Let me get this straight: the Decepticon base is underwater, on a clearly stable shelf, on a clearly visible shoreline, and it has been broken into before, and no one bothered to fix the defences. They have to be some lazy-ass idiots or they laid off their janitors. Soundwave is also head of Intelligence, and he’d spot those two bickering Autobots in a heartbeat.
Yet...the Decepticons are just as lazy and as idiotic as their Autobot counterparts. They use a ‘bland’ form of Energon, have the means to create it, and despite it being their primary energy resource, don’t bother to properly manage it. When you’re on the sea floor, you have to constantly clean out and manage those intake vents or else the pressure will crush them. Sea barnacles and other matter will stick to it, as well. The Decepticons are talking about stealing ‘pure’ energon, yet despite their alleged resourcefulness, couldn’t be bothered to actually go out and seek deposits. They have to be bickering around like they’re around a toilet snorting coke.
Pleasure / pain. If BB was tortured into overloaded pleasure, as you say, well then, something isn’t right. BDSM and other sexual paraphernalia are a result of a dysfunctional brain. In normal circumstances, such as accidentally burning a hand on a stove-top, the brain registers that as painful, and therefore bad, and sends messages not to do that action again. A dysfunctional brain with not interpret the endorphins correctly and will see that stove-top as a ‘good reward’, and the individual will be tempted to do it again. In the case of torture, the body and psychological state of an individual are tested for breaking points for information. If the brain is ever ‘pleased’ by it, there is an underlying malfunction in which the user cannot identify or interpret motor signals. Sociopaths do this with certain words; their brains react to some words, none at all to others.
You are really bad at writing espionage. Most of it was talk about BB, sex toys, the Twin’s sex toys, them complaining about who they’re going to have sex with, and so on. Enough already.
You make a slip when BB says ‘damnit’. That word does not exist in their language. So, you made him human here.
Annnnnnnnnnd another sex scene. With Wheeljack. What a way to take away from the supposed danger of the espionage mission. BTW, that was horribly written. They’re underwater and if he shot out one wall, everyone would be crushed. Apparently physics and common sense do not apply to you. All I got was some baaw scene where BB will be in the hospital and the only thing that can save him is awesome Tiger Sex.
Where’s the drama-llama ding-dong? I haven’t seen it yet. I haven’t seen anything in more than 100,000 words.