|Reviews for Traffic|
| Dandy352 chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
| MayHoran-Potter chapter 1 . 1/10/2011
i think it was good how a story could be based on one quote thing. this was really good, i liked it
| Claire Lafleur chapter 1 . 8/21/2010
haha, i liked this story allot... Sirius's remark at the end was perfect
| The Owls Made Me Do It chapter 1 . 11/22/2009
lolz , hilarious ! XD
| Weasley-Basher chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
WOW! Lol, it was SO funny at the end!
I loved it, totally going in my favs!
| asthesunshines chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
LOL. but really, i doubt they wer THAT dysfunctional :D but it still was a crack up :D
| Prongs is mine chapter 1 . 8/6/2009
that was really cute! so they're boyfriend and girlfriend in this, right?
| lol chapter 1 . 7/30/2009
| JoneyHaleMalfoy chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
That hard to follow at the beginning but i loved it once i figured it out! SO funny!
| dorfanspein222 chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
okay now I have to admit there is a giant flaw in this fanfic... and that's because I ONLY HAVE ONE LINE! WHAT IS THIS! COME ON! also I have come to the conclusion that you don't actually know my name . but oh well :3 it's very cute and I like how it seems you got the idea from that quote you've fallen in love with xD
...also yeah you ARE a good writer
| DobbyLivesAgain chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
lol i thought this fic was amazing :)
although, i thought the line:
But, then, I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.
was a little random
but also sweet, anyway great job :)
| reviewer chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
Aw, Sirius (:
Ha-Ha nice fic., short and cute!
| ameo chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
So I sort of liked the idea. It was kind of pointless though; to tell you the truth. The dialogue was certainly entertaining-but why don't you do something different? Virtually every cliche fanfic out there has these elements:
-Sirius is humorous, but it verges on straight-up "stupid humor." Come on. Who acts like that ALL THE TIME?
-Lily's best friends: automatically best friends/significant others with James's best friends. No. It doesn't always work out that way.
-Remus is the calm ish one.
-James and Lily arguing about absolutely nothing. COME ON NOW.
Your fic contains all these elements. Which is sort of bad, but can be fixed!
One inconsistency I noticed: The oncoming traffic thing. Certainly Lily would no what this means, as she grew up as a Muggle. James and the rest of the Wizarding friends wouldn't know what that means at all. Just try to get your Muggle/Wizard facts straight. James probably wouldn't have known what it meant, and he would have been confused as to what it was Lily was referring to. Just something to think about next time you write. ALSO: It ended weird. Like...first Lily and James are arguing, then they're...doing disgusting things? What? I thought it was particularly unrealistic. Deepen it more.
Try something different than the norm. It wouldn't hurt to add more description to compliment your humorous dialogue. ADD PETER IN THERE! He was a Marauder too, you know, before he went all Death Eater on them.
Anyway, I hope you consider my advice and listen to my review rather than seeing it as a huge degrading comment on your work. Just remember not everything is perfect!
| AnotherHPF chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
Haha I can see this happening. Completely.
I've always loved James/Lily relationship. It always makes me seem to laugh. Although, if I was actually right there I'd probably would be yelling at the two of them to shut up.
Haha Sirius. Best line of the fic. xD
| MiscellaneousMe chapter 1 . 7/27/2009
ROFL! Sirius is awesome ] This is great.