|Reviews for The crimes of alchemy|
| ElizabethBathog chapter 17 . 12/1/2016
The story is good but you need to work on your spelling and grammar. The last chapter made me confused... What's going on is Gibbs hurt or not? I hope you still planning on finish this! The story is good or i wouldn't have read it! :)
| ThreeStarHunter chapter 15 . 9/7/2016
I just had an image of Ed on leash. He does not look happy...
| PhantomGuest chapter 4 . 5/8/2016
Ok, considering it's been 6 years since you last updated this story it probably doesn't matter if I review or not, that and you'll probably never read it. But if you do I hope you will take these as suggestions, not criticisms, and work to improve your story.
First of all I was excited when I saw this thinking this would be a awesome crossover because I love both NCIS & Fullmetal. I could only make it to chapter 4...
1: Edward knees Tony in the stomach. Tony is 6'1". Is Edward tall enough to knee Tony in the stomach while Ziva is holding on to him? Later it's Edward *kicked* Tony, this makes much more sense.
2: Abby only fingerprints his left hand. Law enforcement always prints both hands. Even if the weapon had only a left hand print on it they would print both hands to run for previous crimes. I know this is a problem for your story but you'll have to think another way around Edwards automail.
3: Abby is standing right there when Tony grabs the syringe and stabs Edward for a blood sample. Later you have her screaming at him like she never knew it happened. Really? If Tony did something wrong collecting evidence Abby would noticed it and would have corrected it right then and there.
4: Edward asks about clothes while in the shower because he realizes his are full of blood and doesn't want to put them back on. Edward is then walking around carrying his bloody clothes after his shower only to hand them off to Tony with no mention of a bag, compromising the evidence. If you are taken in from a crime scene with bloody clothes that the police think are the victims blood, they are going to confiscate, bag & tag your clothes the very first thing for evidence.
5: Typos... For example: after Tony calls Edward squirt... "HOW ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE CAN DROWN IN A PUDDLE!?"... Shouldn't that be "Who are you calling so small that they could drown in a puddle"? Or something to that effect? What you have makes no sense.
Now that you are older and wiser with more experience, I hope you will re-visit this story and improve it into the masterpiece it could be.
| Winged Serpent of Light - BOTM chapter 17 . 4/4/2016
PLEASE KEEP WRITING!
| Guest chapter 17 . 2/24/2016
| Guest chapter 17 . 11/25/2015
| Sherlock's Pipe And Hat chapter 17 . 8/13/2015
| miriti1 chapter 5 . 5/20/2015
I really like this story so far and how you made him meet the team was great, now I wonder which of the homuilous are in th US
| Dana Sto Helit chapter 17 . 3/17/2015
So ? Any chance you update ? Because that was good so far.
| hagane-inu chapter 17 . 3/16/2015
THis story is really awesome! I didn't think there could be a story like this! are you going to continue this? Is very bad leave a story like this uncompleted
| Brightheart10 chapter 2 . 3/9/2015
Yep, typical Ed.
| Brightheart10 chapter 1 . 3/8/2015
Like it so far but I think We'd would be a bit harder to catch.
| Brightheart10 chapter 17 . 3/2/2015
Pleased continue this! Its amazing!
| chewybillabong chapter 17 . 2/10/2015
Really good! Please update! _
| Isella of the wolf tribe chapter 17 . 2/3/2015
OMG, Next chapter please! I LOVED it!