Reviews for If you can't beat 'em
Spitfire303 chapter 1 . 2/18
I adore the crack-y goodness of this
koimizu chapter 1 . 2/9
Now i can't get the image of "Jane juggling pins on unicycle on his couch" out of my head! and it's so true that the cases are means to an end...(and i haven't read any elevator-fic yet, i may go get one...)

i couldn't stop grinning, the whole thing is hilarious! thank you!
LouiseKurylo chapter 1 . 2/7/2014
This is hilarious. The normal character quirks on steroids. Thanks very much for writing it.
NotJustAShadow chapter 1 . 1/5/2014
I have absolutely no clue what just happened but it was great! Still trying to get my head around all of it...
arwenx chapter 1 . 11/29/2012
I know you wrote this story about three years ago but I've just stumbled onto this fandom and have consumed a large amount of Mentalist fic in a very short time. Hence this fic was exactly what I needed right now. I've been wallowing in the angst from the fandom/show for weeks now so it was nice to just take a step back and laugh. You're definitely poking fun at a great number of tropes/cliches seen in Mentalist fic but you do it very lovingly.

So many great things about this story. I could probably quote the whole thing.

"Hey Cho, since there's not much to do right now wanna play cards with us?" Jane asked.

"Can't." Cho told him matter-of-factly.

"Why not?" Rigsby demanded.

"Reading." Cho told him.

"Right, sorry man. Forgot." Jane told him, before dealing out the cards to the other agents.

Monotonous Cho.

Jane always trying to make Lisbon blush because it brings out her eyes. Lisbon looking especially pretty in green.

"You're not blushing!" Jane cried. "You're not blushing, and you were immediately able to come up with an appropriate response!

Lisbon actually having friends to everyone's great surprise.

Seriously the entire thing was fantastic.
ifan13 chapter 1 . 10/18/2012
Well that was ... strange ... I'm kidding, it was fun :) Deffinitely crack, but very enjoyable and I loved being able to recognize the cliches.
lj13oct chapter 1 . 9/28/2012
LOL this is just perfect crack fic. There have been a lot of stories where I just can't keep reading because the cliches get too insane or the plot get too thin and yup, you got them all. I love it!
Katja chapter 1 . 9/2/2011

How could I have missed this for so long?

I laughed so hard, I still can't breathe normally again.

I tell you - I'd pay to get this story on the TV-Screen. Would be an absolute highlight.

Thank you for it!
dogeatdog chapter 1 . 9/21/2010
This has so much crack in it, you're practically a drug cartel.


Are you a drug cartel?
Arcadya chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
Oh my goodness.

How in the world did I ever miss this fic?

This was absolute gold. GOLD I tell you.

Short list of my favs...

Jane interrupted more forcefully. "No. I mean it, there's really no such thing as psychics. Ever."

"If you say so." Rigsby told him skeptically.

"I do. No psychics. None." Then he brightened, "Hey, wanna play some poker?"

"Sure, why not." Van Pelt agreed.

"Hey Cho, since there's not much to do right now wanna play cards with us?" Jane asked.

"Can't." Cho told him matter-of-factly.

"Why not?" Rigsby demanded.

"Reading." Cho told him.

"Right, sorry man. Forgot." Jane told him, before dealing out the cards to the other agents.

Well that whole section was pretty brilliant.

She really had felt like green tea this morning... Made me laugh.

"Mistletoe." - Can't leave out the age-old writer's handy plot developer.

He trailed off suggestively, well, as suggestively as one could when one was speaking in a monotone.

Cho even pulled one from his shoe. His facial expression didn't change, but he was still the most sheepish Lisbon had ever seen him.

"Hey! I could have a date!" Cho said indignantly. Or rather, he would have said it indignantly, but again, since he was Cho he said it in a monotone.

That was a complete crack-up! I'm always against the monotonous Cho. It's call sarcasm, and deadpan people. He's witty most of the time. Where did this idea come from that Cho's not intentionally funny?

Of course, I absolutely love that she gave in in the end. Because seriously, blame it on something in the water. I would, after a day like that ;)
MK chapter 1 . 1/23/2010
This was great! You did a fantastic job embracing the cliches. :)
YellowRosesAndHearts chapter 1 . 1/19/2010
This is easily one of the best parodies I've ever read on FFN, and I think it's because you let Lisbon be normal, while showing us the ridiculousness of certain cliches that almost all fic writers are guilty of in some degree. The end cracked me up. I really liked this.
Alamo Girl chapter 1 . 1/14/2010
HA! Oh, the satire of this! And you hit every cliche in a brilliant way. Almost makes my idea for the "elevator snark" unnecessary!

"Not if I knee you in the groin first" - THIS! This is Lisbon. Exactly what's she'd say in the show too!
Chiisana Minako chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
LOL! Poor Lisbon. She really needed to join the crazyness or she'd go ever nuttier. Perfect title xD

Fav quotes 3!

(...) watching Jane, who appeared to be juggling bowling pins, while balancing an umbrella on his nose, on a unicycle, somehow still on his couch.

That's both disturbing and hilarous xD!

“No, but I spend so much time searching online databases I thought it might be easier to just memorize them. I’m halfway through the B’s now,” the younger agent told her boss proudly.

I almost fell from my chair xD

“Flirt with you outrageously despite the fact that I’m still consumed by my quest for revenge?”

Now that's some harsh truth xD

Ah.. I'm not that much for parody but you did it great by mantaining Lisbon sane and as freaked out as we readers were xD.

Definitely a fun read!
Kaylee Tam chapter 1 . 8/3/2009

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