Reviews for One Promise Too Late
MorriganFearn chapter 1 . 6/2/2013
This is a wonderful snippet. I wouldn't have known that it was your first time writing these characters. They all sound polished and appropriately cannon to their support conversations. I love that you didn't make any party the "bad guy." It's hard to find much on Isadora, Harken, and Legault, and usually the fics seem to pitch Harken out a window, or get all tragic with Isadora. It's also great to read Legault's honest dishonesty-he's incredibly open about his past, and incredibly evasive about it at the same time, and you captured that wonderfully. Anyway, great fic.
TheLegendaryZero chapter 1 . 10/3/2011
Ah, I absolutely love how you wrote Legault. While I dislike Harken (no, not the way you wrote him, just his boring existence in game and the fact that he ties Isadora down thanks to their promise), I think you did great with this story.
kageshoujo chapter 1 . 12/29/2009
Beautiful Legault you've written. I admire how you did him, very perfcetly Legault in my opinion. Isadora-Legault is one of my favorite pairings, I like how bittersweet it is, how it can make you feel warm and then tear your up at the same time. This fic has exactly that. While some may say that your Isadora is a bit OOC, I think that you delved into another side of her, because in the game, she's only, like, Isadora, Knight of Pherae... and we never really see the other sides to her. Kissing Harken after having a talk with Legault seemed out of place, though.

And Harken? Bah, hardly care for him (meaning no offense to anyone). I try to get Karel all the time. Great job on this fic!
Vanechka chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
wow. just, wow. excellent characterization, really.

it's great! How you manage to turn a pairing i don't really care about into something i feel is so great is just...amazing! :D
SpeedDemon315 chapter 1 . 8/9/2009
Despite what you think, you did a fine job with those three characters. I loved how you delved into Isadora's relationship with Legault and Harken and described the differences in them. Legault always had that noble, rather amiable streak in him and you showed it well when he told Isadora to marry Harken because she loves him and don't think about what could have been for them. It's a wonderful piece, I'm adding it to my favorites!
Writer Awakened chapter 1 . 8/4/2009
Hi. :)

Legault is portrayed nicely here: A mix of roguish playfulness, regret about the past and a small bit of self-deprecation. Not much to say in that regard. He made me chuckle a little bit. :D

Isadora is a bit of a different story. In-game she always seemed to have a chip on her shoulder about Harken's disappearance and how he made her worry for his sake. Assuming the absence of Harken, she might gravitate towards Legault if only to have someone to confide in, someone to comfort her (as she seeks a non-romantic sort of companionship in Renault in their supports). But if Harken were indeed there, as he seems to be in this story, I can't see her drifting away from him at all. Considering how she acts in their supports (at some points she's near hysterical) and how hurt she was by his disappearance, I can't see her having any feelings for another man, and I don't see her being with Legault simply to spite Harken, either. Then again, honestly, I don't have the right perspective to get into her head, so to speak, so please take this all with a grain of salt. XD;; I quite liked Isadora's reflections in the beginning on womanhood and her place in the company, but those lines do seem a bit out of place in the context of the rest of the story.

As far as Harken goes, he seems much too effusive in his story. When he comes to Isadora in his supports, he goes as a man penitent, having failed in his duties; after Elbert's death, he basically made his life forfeit and intended to take as many Black Fang into the afterlife with him. He's extremely downcast and beats himself up over the fact that he allowed his lord to be captured and his allies to be killed. He even offers to Isadora to remove himself from her life because he caused her so much grief even though he clearly loves her and she clearly NEEDS him. Mournful, I think, is the best word to describe Harken.

Overall, nice work. I hope this helped in some small way :)
Kitsilver chapter 1 . 8/4/2009
It's fun writing new characters, isn't it? I always have a devil of a time doing so, because damn, it means so much reading up on supports and ingame dialogue, but it is fun to play with someone new.

Your Legault is awesome. He's a playful rogue, one who assures lady knights that he kisses quite well and uses his wit and charm to make people laugh. But there is clear-sightedness and depth to him too. He knows his past will catch up to him, that’s why he can’t be with anyone, but knows also that Isadora loves Harken. He accepts it without bitterness and encourages her to go to him without wondering what could have been. He goes on a bit too much describing Harken and how much he loves Isadora, but aside from that, your Legault is as I imagine him to be.

Isadora and Harken are harder for me to believe. I see a glimpse of her in the woman who would kiss a man to make certain of her feelings for someone else, a woman torn about her feelings for two very different people. But the introspection in the beginning feels a bit forced and her grabbing Harken at the end doesn't feel like her. It comes out of nowhere with Harken babbling and Isadora pulling his head down for a kiss. Harken feels off too. He’s so serious in the game and torn up about his failure to protect Elbert and return to Isadora, but here he’s all bright eyed and bubbly, like a puppy. The characters that actually come to mind when I read this aren’t Isadora and Harken, but Lyn and Kent.

Isadora and Harken in this piece could use some work, but Legault is well done, and I really like that you’re trying out different characters. Hope it’s as fun for you to write as it is for us to read. Keep it up!
Shimizu Hitomi chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
Like I said last night, I really like your Isadora, so no, YOU DO NOT FAIL. :P Your Isadora voice is really wonderful here, just the right balance of playfulness and doubt. Your Legault is absolutely charming too. XD

Harken though, does seem a bit off to me mostly because in the game he comes off as WOE IS ME angst/emo/baw. More stiff than rambly, you know? Here he's kind of all cute and puppy-dog-like. I'm not sure this is necessarily a bad thing though, because it makes Isadora/Harken actually feel believable (while in the supports it's all awkward, haha). And more importantly, believable that she'd choose Harken over Legault, LOL.

BTW: "treated her good" should be "treated her well".

I kind of read this and A Woman Lost as companion pieces btw, so I'll have more to say in the other review. I think.
Songlian chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
You hardly "fail" at writing Isadora, Legault, and Harken! I think you were spot on with their personalities and dialogue. You've done a wonderful job and I hope someday you decide to write with these characters once more.
Sotsumi chapter 1 . 8/2/2009
Very good. I love the song you mentioned and have actually drawn inspiration from it myself a time or two. Good job.