|Reviews for Where It Cannot Heal|
| I Can Kill You With My Brain chapter 1 . 3/24/2013
Wow. I almost cried reading this...okay, now I'm crying. This was amazing.
| Amethyst Asheryn chapter 1 . 5/12/2010
Every time I watch Wash's death in the BDM it gets worse and worse ... And this hammered it home again, hard. I adore the stream-of-consciousness style, the flow, the fluency; it's beautiful-but really hard to read, because you make it so easy to see Zoe just silently losing her grip on everything and breaking up.
The one thing that pulled me out of the mood a bit was the fact that you kept using the wrong "than"; than is for comparison (better than you, more than that, easier than she's comfortable with) and then is for time (then and now, get your coat then we'll go, etc.) Also here and there you switch from present to past tense, but that's nothing big.
"He catches her, the one that she vaguely remembers she used to call 'Sir' and she's forgotten his name, it's been so long, it's been years, but it doesn't really matter anyway." This was the first thing that really dug into my heart, and deep ... Because you don't even see that bond they shared break, you just see it broken-and how. Even Mal's attempts to comfort her are painful, because even in so few words you do an excellent job of painting his own emotions.
"But nonetheless he catches her in the cockpit, in his cockpit, and she would have cried if she could have but she can't; there's nothing left to cry, so she tips back her chin and she fingers the radio that he's touched so often and she says, "Is it autumn, yet?"" Ditto above; this struck home hard, too. Especially "Is it autumn yet?"
"But there are no saints among these petty thieves and whores and fugitives, not with him gone ..." Another wrenching line; especially because, for me, as an objective viewer of the show, I get to see the little bits of each crew member that aren't the petty thieves and whores and fugitives-but we're so deep in Zoe's POV right now that we see them as she sees them now and it's a wrench compared to what we're used to. If that made sense.
"His eyes, that de-boning stare haunted her sleepless dreams for as long as she can remember" Yet another line that sawed at my heartstrings. But besides being a hard line to read, you could also fix it up a bit: For one thing the structure is a bit odd-you say "haunted her sleepless dreams for as long as she can remember," but since this is in present tense I think you could change it. For example, "that de-boning stare has haunted her dreams for as long as she can remember," or some such. Also, it's missing a period at the end.
Thanks so much for writing this. It was amazingly well done.
| Mycha chapter 1 . 1/1/2010
Wow. Very powerful emotions said simply and succinctly and yet conveying so much. Well done.
| RionaEire chapter 1 . 8/4/2009
Very perplexing, interesting but worrying. So Zoe's wits leave her? Though I don't picture that ever happening to Zoe it was still interesting to read and I liked how it was written in a sort of poetry format. I wish she could stayed in that young one state, she seemed happiest that way and that's what matters when someone's wits are touched, you want them to feel as happy and safe as possible if they can't get back to the way they were, "normal". But she isn't happy and safe for most of that and so it is worrysome but still worth reading because it is written in an inigmatic way, I sit and wonder if the whole thing is just metaphorical or if it is literal. If its metaphorical then all my previous observations are null and void, at least most of them. But well written in a perplexing way as I said. Makes one think. And I do feel bad.