|Reviews for Naughty Imp|
| Vani88 chapter 1 . 8/6/2009
I absolutely like the situation, the idea, the progression of the story... even smut can have a "storyline".
I love your vocabulary, enticing, sexy, but not vulgar
Now on to the part of constructive criticism :
- You changed from past to present at some point, make sure that you keep your story in one tense (unless there is a flashback of course)
- Sometimes the structure is very repetitive -
He groaned his approval at her juices dripping on to his fingers. He guided his painfully hard cock to her folds. He let himself slide against her before plunging in to her.
You repeat "He" at the beginning of every (short) sentence. It would perhaps be a good idea to either change it, or (better in my opinion) try and make a longer sentence by connecting the ideas...
I am looking forward to reading more from you soon...
| kangaleigh chapter 1 . 8/6/2009
| Berlian chapter 1 . 8/5/2009
WOW... it's HOT!
| STLFAN chapter 1 . 8/5/2009
OMG That was incredible. Now I need a shower. Dang that was HOT. I love Gabby fics!
| melniewn chapter 1 . 8/5/2009
Holy Cow! That was very hot and amazingly well written. You got the tempo so you made your audience feel exactly what you wanted! Well Done!
| JosGotGlock chapter 1 . 8/5/2009
Whoa...that was f_king HOT! Holy cow! I enjoy your writing so much, but this went to a new level. Great, excellent, fantabulous work!