|Reviews for Firefly|
| Marse Speaks chapter 1 . 4/23/2013
"shutting also, his ears from the world"; "fireflies, because they're beautiful" - In both cases, comma is not needed.
"her – the grudge on Natsume" - I think the dash isn't needed here, too!
"he and Ruka collect many different bugs" - collected; "these are the things that they ever need" - were, needed; "They collect, they stare at it, and then they free them." - collected, stared, freed; "Ruka is just kind-hearted that he insists on..." - was, insisted; "...a marvellous sight welcomes him" - welcomed; "...said Ruka as he places a finger on its surface." - placed
There are more tenses to correct in the story. This is quite a tricky situation. You have to clearly differentiate what is in the present from what is in the past. You kept changing tenses. (Yeah, I have to admit that was and still is one of my problems.) Just like what others and I always tell myself... be consistent. :)
The feeling is not really that angst-y until it is said that Ruka died. And there are barely words after that. :(
By the way, why fireflies of all? I mean, I'm heartbroken not just because of Ruka being dead. I'm heartbroken also because it's fireflies! Why did you make Natsume hate fireflies? Why make it the "ugliest creature*" in his eyes? T_T I'm sorry; I'm getting carried away by emotions. It's because fireflies is "hotaru" in Japanese and... I'm a NatsumeHotaru shipper. ._.
Anyway, you've managed to show how Natsume really loves his best friend. Personally, I love their friendship. Nice story!
| Algorithmic Paradox of Love chapter 1 . 3/30/2012
First Ruka is sad because of Natsume, and now you kill him off?
Poor Natsume, and please don't hate fireflies! X((((
| Ridley Silverlake chapter 1 . 10/23/2011
You expect because you know you deserve praises for writing a beautiful piece of work like this one. [:
This was beautifully written, in spite of the sadness this story holds. Natsume cares for Ruka so much and I love how well you were able to portray that. [:
| minahoru chapter 1 . 4/29/2010
Oh my god. Why did you end it there? This story is like a rushed one T_T I GASPED! How dare you... :((
I want morree! FRIENDSHIP between Ruka and Natsume is just amazing. Now that you wrote stories about it! (._.)o Make more!
| batsuko mugenmo chapter 1 . 1/2/2010
my expectations were similar to those of chris. ruka's death completely took me by surprise, and almost made me shed tears. it's so sad, but you wrote it very beautifully.
| AbsoluteAddiction-x chapter 1 . 10/18/2009
-falls into spiralling pit of depression- D:
Everytime i see a firefly now, i'm going to think of this.
Quite sweet in a depressing way... but i love it anyway
| buttcake chapter 1 . 10/18/2009
AWWH. D: Ruka died. I didn't expect that. O:
I was expecting something like jealousy on Natsume's part while Ruka holds the fireflies. :3
But still, the death was cool. (;
Great job~! Loved the angst!
| Permanent Violet chapter 1 . 8/31/2009
Hooray for death stories xDD Odd, when I was writing about Hotaru dieing, I felt nothing, yet when Ruka dies, I almost start Bawling...Odd...
| Fortune Ferdinand chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
NO! Man, that was really beautifully written and very, very sad. I wasn't expecting a death fic. HunterFinn told me not to read 'Sayonara', but didn't say anything about this one. :goes off in corner to cry: My dad died last year and Natsume's emotions are very much what it feels like to lose someone you really loved. The things you used to do together become tragically bittersweet, mostly just bitter though. Thanks for sharing such a heartfelt story .
| Oh chapter 1 . 8/6/2009
Geez, I didn't expect that sad part at the ending. Uhh..: