I absolutely love your description of Bella's parents. I got such a great understanding of what they are like and I love the whole "Sheriff" nickname...her father is not an actual cop but a flight instructor...that was a very nice touch.

And the way you described Bella's relationship with her parents was so descriptive. It really allowed me to understand their family dynamic and why Bella is how she is and why she decided to go into military training as a pilot. I love how she mentions she's clumsy but in the air her precision is impeccable.

Her description of the vamps was amazing. I liked the line about their "mind readers" and "fortune tellers"

I also loved how you explained how the humans have a chance at resistence against the vamps because of their machine performace limitations...especially since the vamps seem to have so much more experience. It makes for a great fight and I know now that the humans, even though they are not immortal, still put up a fight against them - even though Winslow said in six months they will no longer have the power to win.

Also, you set up her mom's death perfectly by explaining her mission and also the dangers in the area where her plane went down. It gives me a sense of exactly what life is like for the humans living on the same planet as the vamps.

Her father's line about 'taking the bastards down' provides a wonderful catalyst for Bella's revenge.

I don't know anything about fighter pilots or airplanes, but your attentioon to detail is spectacular.

Your writing is beyond mature and seriously, it's one of the best written stories I'm reading! I loved the touch about the propaganda by the vamps (common obviously during every war). Again, it really gives me a sense of exactly how the world works for these characters and what they have to deal with day to day.

Also, having her be the poster girl for the public was a very nice touch. She's known on both sides for different reasons...one, a vamp hater and war criminal, the other, a poster girl for the air force, encouraging new recruits etc. It's true, the media needs to have heroes to give the public a sense of hope. You portray this beautfiully and realistically.

The bio-agent is very intriguing too.

What a mission Bella has! I am so excited to read more!

Her last thought was awesome. I love this Bella - she's strong and smart - great job with this chapter!

Okay so I just replied to your review for my story and I clicked on your profile and saw you had a posted story yourself.

All I can say is WOW.

I've just read the prologue but your writing has captivated me and I cannot wait to read more.

I'm shocked that more people aren't reading and reviewing this and this is my opinion after only reading the prologue!

Your writing style is very mature. There is also a sense of nostalgia when reading this particular chapter.

It is emotional and intriguing and just an overall phenomenal start :)

It sets up the story beautifully and really gave me a great understanding of the world these characters live in and the vamps role in this world.

Talk to you soon :)

I'm surprised that not many people have reviewed this story, because it is quite fascinating to say the least. I just happened to stumble upon it, and yeah, definitely worth the power read I just went through :) The story flows pretty well, with only minimal grammar mistakes from what I've read. Intriguing really. I can't wait to see what you post next. Keep it coming.

Cheers,

jlyric