|Reviews for Justice|
| Allie Danger chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
i really loved it :)
| marmota-b chapter 1 . 7/22/2011
What I like most about this story is that you gave Peter a good reason for wanting to punish the Telmarines. That his actions are not there just for the sake of the point, but that it's a situation where most people who are not King Edmund the Just would have, most probably, reacted in the same way - even though Peter catches an innocent (of that particular crime) in his rashness. And I like that Edmund went straight to the point in his questioning - to the point that there was an innocent caught up in that mess.
I also like that he goes into the prison before tending to his bruise. That just goes to show how much he cares about justice, that it takes precedence over his own comfort for him, even though it would just take several more minutes.
The ending seems a bit unbalanced to me - the conversation, but I suspect it's just the FanFiction formatting with breaks between paragraphs, which breaks it into numerous very short separate paragraphs and thus makes it more difficult to follow... while there should somehow, in the logic of my reader mind, be a break between the two days, which is not there. Just a little cosmetic problem, really; overall it's very good.
| Berserker Nightwitch chapter 1 . 1/10/2011
Very well-written. I wonder if Peter's attitude post-LWW & pre-PC brought back any memories of this incident for Edmund. Thanks for sharing!
| Eavis chapter 1 . 10/30/2010
This story is seriously one of the best on the subject I've ever had the pleasure (or pain, depending) of reading. It meets with a resounding 'Well done'!
| FelipeMarcusThomas chapter 1 . 7/5/2010
There haven't been too many stories featuring the Telmarines. Edmund was the perfect one to talk to Peter about second chances. Nicely done.
| petites sorcieres chapter 1 . 1/22/2010
I really liked it good OS
| Hiei-and-shino chapter 1 . 11/13/2009
From all the Pevensie, Edmund is my favorite ever. And in this fanfic he was so truly THE KING Edmund, The Just, that I can not say anything less than "I Loved".
Seriously, it's just amazing how you put it him on this fanfic, without ignoring his personality like others fanfics!
The end was just amazing! Oh my, such a cute thing!
"“I’m laughing because when we were younger, you never listened to me—ever. It was always me listening to you, even if you were wrong. And now, finally, you’re listening to me. And I’ve only one thing to say about that,” Edmund said.
“What’s that?” Peter asked.
“Ah,” Edmund smiled and leaned back against the wall, his fingers laced behind his head. “Justice.”"
It's only me how saw the full scene?
[sorry if you don't understand something, I am not that good on English xD]
| Shizuku Tsukishima749 chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
What about Kashar? He was released, right? I KNEW I recognized Caspa, and I was right about his origin, too! XD
YES! This was so good! Wow! Poor Ed, though, getting punched by his own brother because he lost his temper! :( At least Pete didn't do it on purpose. _
Man, I LOVED this! I loved the fact that Edmund was right all along and only had to talk to the Telmarines once to get the answers he sought! He's so awesome, and I loved how Caspa was so honest and remorseful! U Shows there's some good in the Telmarines (apart from Caspian lol.)!
The part with Edmund bringing up the second chance he got after being released from the White Witch was so sweet and powerful! He's such a wonderful, just king! *U*
This was beautiful! (The ending was hilarious!) Rock on! U *U*
Ever-so sincerely signed,
Shizuku Tsukishima749 :D ;D :) ;)
| Victoria Alatamir Wan chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
Nope, it's great! Awesome job!
| the shadow proves the sunshine chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
I think that when all of us who write fanfiction can't help but to change the characters in little ways or another. We all give them different characteristics, different mannerisms, because that's our playground, something we get to make-up. In the books and the movies, we learn the character's personality, but there's a lot left open. So we all change the characters a bit. I have to admit, when I started reading, I was startled by the anger and rashness of your portrayal of Peter. I don't think it's necessarily out of character-just different from what I'm use to writing and reading. I almost clicked the back button, but I'm really, really glad I didn't because you accomplished a great thing: making the characters more than just 2-D. In a short story you manage to explain so much and have the characters grow and evolve-all within the span of a few thousand words and a single day. And I love the inclusion of the Telmarines.
the shadow proves the sunshine
| kutlessgurl90 chapter 1 . 8/9/2009
that was so good! i can totally see peter being rash, acting without thinking, wanting the prisoners to pay. edmund on the other hand, thinks things through and is the voice of reason when it comes to handing out the right punishment. going into that dungeon wasn't easy, but he did it anyway. i liked how peter and edmund equally decided that they were both out of line when peter struck edmund for what he had said. this was my favorite part:
“There you go again, with your stupid second chances!” Peter exploded. “Why are you so set on giving everyone and everything that crosses your path a second chance?”
“Because I know how it feels to be granted one.” The silence stretched as Peter, Susan, and Lucy stared at Edmund. He calmly met their gazes and took the ice off his face for a moment to rearrange the towel. The bruise on his face reminded them of the battered, downcast face that had been rescued all those years ago from the White Witch. “Aslan gave me a second chance—you gave me a second chance—when I was forgiven, when I was saved. I can never forget that I’m on my second chance, and there’s no such thing as a third chance. I’m out of chances, so I can’t waste this one. But I got a second one. And I figure that if I, a traitor to Narnia and Aslan, deserved another chance, perhaps other people do, too.”
Edmund's speech totally blew me away and i honestly teared up a little bit. I did laugh at the end when edmund said he got "justice" for peter finally listening to him. great job! )
| Lirenel chapter 1 . 8/7/2009
Interesting! I like how you had Peter and Edmund having such different ideas of justice. It's kinda what I was going for in Terror Gold as well, so this fits in just nicely. And seeing Caspa again made me smile, even if it's not the same Caspa. I'm glad you kept him a bit the same in character, though. (I admit, I was startled at first to see him, but the disclaimer was lovely and made me blush.)
The bit about the birch girls was especially well done, I thought. It was something truly horrible, but Edmund was able to listen and understand where the Telmarines were coming from. And I liked that some of the Telmarines weren't remorseful, while others were. It showed a good dynamic.
| Liv Tinuviel chapter 1 . 8/7/2009
oh i like it...i think it's just the perfect set up for Peter's dislike/distrust of caspian in the movie (although it appears he forgot ed's lesson during their years away, didn't he?)
beautifully done, as always