Reviews for Sweat
Gohanroxme chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
The fact that this had so little dialogue was what made it so beautiful, and I loved the idea of Yoruichi looking for that flame of action in Suì-Feng. Insta-Fave! :)
Guest chapter 1 . 7/26/2012
... I cant say anything.
Gintama8 chapter 1 . 5/25/2011
awesome !
XxMNinjaxX chapter 1 . 3/4/2011
Really good story. It was delightfully simple while deep at the same time, and well written. ]
iz.darling chapter 1 . 5/22/2010
I really like this and what you said about minimal dialogue being characteristic of their relationship makes a lot of sense. It just fits them both so well. And I like the idea of Yoruichi being lonely and Soi Fon "comforting" her. It's not something that I think I've really read before in a story about them.

I did think the only weak point of the story was where you transition from, "above and beyond what anyone could ever reach and touch." to "The door slid open softly, hushed sound as it moved so slowly and hesitantly, pausing halfway and the moonlight shone through the white, illuminating a silhouette (...)" There was the only moment where I hesitated in my reading and though about what was happening at that moment, but it wasn't for very long. Only a minor thing, really.

The rest of the story was excellent. The way you wrote it as a series of fragments leading to next seems to just work. Both of them are completely in character, even Soi, even though she doesn't say a word. And the sex was written very realistically, I was surprised when you said this was your first time trying to write this type of story.

By the way, I've read quite a few Yoruichi X Soi Fon stories and this one has been the most true to their characters that I've read so far. Great job! I really loved it!
Sadako Mcfly chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
I liked what you said in the end, about Yoruichi being alone.

It seems that she's used to keep this 'Commander air' with everyone, unconsciously even - since she's not a shinigami anymore -. She keeps her distance with anyone and everyone and it's interisting to see how fragile she is, despite so much indifferenceness on the outside.

KillerDragon001 chapter 1 . 3/7/2010
nice story X3
Goku's Daughter chapter 1 . 10/23/2009
You write reeaally really well - your descriptions are far far superior than mine!

Good job.

Keep writing

HarajukuDJ chapter 1 . 9/29/2009
Really like the plot, great story wished for more but really good angst
yoruichi shihouin chapter 1 . 9/21/2009
like it very good.;)
Darkshadow-lord chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
Very Nice One-shot! I really enjoyed reading it!
bleach number 1 fan chapter 1 . 8/26/2009
wow very nice i like your style of wrighting in this and your other fics
Ominous Oasis chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
Ohemgee! Haven't used this account in ages.

Anyways, now for the review:

I like that you portrayed the YoruSoi relationship in a perhaps... grittier manner than most fanfics do (through lack of communication and whatnot). I mean, it seems that sometimes authors fall into the trap of showing their characters and the interactions between them as perfect and lovey dovey, etc.. Which is fine, but it's nice to see something different :P *realizes she sounds a bit harsh*

My only real issue lies with the use of commas. Maybe I'm just more attuned to them than I used to be because of that Chreighton reading, but I feel like there are many many many of them in this. Personal preference I suppose.

Anywhoozle, I liked it.

Don't give me that look. I know what you're thinking.

"She like the M fic eh? Hm."


:D :D
twistedthoughts chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
I really like this story. Had a very...poetic feel to it somehow, especially with how you written the citrus-y scene. And I liked your assessment of Yoruichi in your AN. Overall, good job.
whoknows213 chapter 1 . 8/10/2009
That was pretty amazing, you took the first part of the story from the show, right? Well you wrote it beautifully. Thanks for sharing.
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