|Reviews for Pretend|
| Guest chapter 4 . 1/24/2014
this was great can u please write more
| karyuu no tekken chapter 2 . 5/13/2013
McLaggen, who had taken the place of Ron as *keeper and whom Harry hated, was really the *one who had caused them to lose, but Harry couldn't help thinking that it had really been him who had done it. Harry woke up in the hospital wing, his head feeling extremely sore and tender. *He ran a light finger *over where his head was bandaged and gasped at the odd feeling that erupted.
| Viera Grace chapter 1 . 2/1/2012
i feel like i'm re-reading your other HHr pretend dating story. 'Pulling a Lavender'? Please come up with some fresher ideas
| the dork knight chapter 5 . 10/10/2011
Good story, but it does kind of feel a little rushed. With a story like this, there are a lot of opportunities for moments when they feel mixed emotions about what they're doing and as they slowly realize that their feelings for one another are changing where they have a bit of an inner struggle as they wonder if what they are doing is right.
I really did like the alternate ending, as it felt more natural than the rest of the story.
I really do believe that you have a great basis of a story here and if you take the time to develop it and expand on it, it can become something even better than it is. Not just the little snapshots of a few moments, but something spread out through the year. Now, I understand that there is the whole Voldemort thing going on during HBP, but if you want to not deal with that, you can easily write something at the beginning where Harry ended up beating the dark lord at the end of their fifth year.
| codyw1 chapter 4 . 10/7/2011
Cute, though the ending feels a tad rushed/easy. Could be longer/angstier to make them realising they really wanna be with each other more satisfying, as there is really is a lot of potential for an even better story here. If you don't mind me saying so, that is! ;)
| Shubhs chapter 3 . 8/30/2011
" . . .as soon as your better,"
There's a difference in-between you're and your:
You're stands for you are. Eg:- You're coming tomorrow?
Your is a pronoun. Eg:- Is this book yours?
If it isn't clear, feel free to ask me. :)
Ado is spelt correctly. xD :)
I liked the original ending.
The story was nice though I can see why you might want to re-write it. You have improved a lot and you could do a lot more with it.
Anyway, cheers. :)
| happylady chapter 5 . 4/11/2011
Until your next story
| JazzGirl123 chapter 6 . 4/10/2011
Yes. Please rewrite it. I would have reviewed but the website wouldn't let me log in. Awesome story, even if it was a teeny bit rushed.
| Red Phoenix Dragon chapter 5 . 4/9/2011
Sweet but it was the only way for these two to get together.
Thanks for sharing your story. Please continue to write HHr.
| namedawesome chapter 6 . 4/8/2011
That would be awesome! This story has great potential to become better!
| harmony chapter 6 . 4/8/2011
i think you should and make it longer if you can. it was kinda short.
| storycrazy22 chapter 6 . 4/8/2011
i think it would be great if You rewrite this story... I truly enjoy it And if You can make it better than go for it!
| almac1991 chapter 6 . 4/8/2011
i loved it! and i think if you want to make it change it. you should. i think you can also make it better! (not that its not awesome like it is now). ill be waiting to read!
| happylady chapter 4 . 5/2/2010
I love it, it was short but it was great
Post more soon
Until next time
| SorrisoD'amore chapter 5 . 5/1/2010
yeah i know writers block sucks good thing you wrote this story it was really good!