|Reviews for Evil Jack: For Worse|
| bmfm fan for life chapter 3 . 2/4
Please make a sequel to this..One about Hannah would be great!
| Hera Ledro chapter 3 . 4/20/2012
Alright, here's the review for the Evil Jack series (or as much as I can fit in a 10000 character limit). I'll give you more detailed character and plot analyses in another PM if I can't fit it in here, or if it doesn't mesh well with the review in general. I will try to consider "Evil Jack" on its own, but due to the fact that I had read "Wars Are Won" before I ever read "Evil Jack", I will end up making comparisons between the two; apologies in advance.
So for starters, this is a much different take on the BMFM series than some, and when I first read it I found it to be distracting. Of course, that was when I was having personal issues of my own, and now that I've developed a little more, I can in fact look at this in a more objective light. To that extent, I congratulate you, for this instilled a sense of discomfort in me that very few fictions ever have and likely ever will. To this day, it instills a sense of discomfort. Much like Turbo from...well, "Turbo", Jack is set up very effectively as a madman villain, insane in the truest sense, and like Turbo, he is effectively a self-made madman. All of his thoughts, everything that makes him who he is, was created by the way he convinced himself of Charley's wrongdoing, and like Turbo he had too much pride in the infant stages of the insanity to really curb that insanity. He convinced himself of everything, but found a way to make his dreams a reality. He is cold and heartless, unable to reason effectively because his reason is incarcerated within an asylum run by the inmates.
To me, this is a successful and frightening villain. He's unhinged, deranged, and obsessed with either getting revenge or living life the way he wants to, not the way life intends. He wants absolute agency over others - control on both the physical and psychological level - and is willing to go to any lengths to procure said agency. When that control is disrupted, he accepts it and moves onto another way of regaining that control, although in a different manner. That's what makes him so frightening to me: that he is convinced of his rightness in this matter, and that he deserves incredible amounts of control because of somebody's disloyalty to his view of life. And like it or not, what happened to Jack could very easily happen to anybody with too much pride and too little reason, and there are many of them who exist in this world; despite being fiction, Jack is very much real.
I can't speak too much on the heroes, but I do like how you paint the missed signals between Charley and Throttle. You seem to have a knack for doing it, and I think we all agree that even though Throttle is very intelligent, the interpretation that he often thinks of others to the detriment of himself is altogether plausible, and maybe even likely. Throttle doesn't see the world around himself, which is why I like that you portray him as caring very deeply for Hannah, but considers himself unable to properly care for her as a father (or rather, "daddy"). Even though you portray this dynamic with a "little" more drama than what happens in real life, this is still a very real issue that pops up in many peoples lives. The concept of parenthood and family, as you also establish in "Wars Are Won", is a very primal and complex issue. We often sum it up with adages akin to 'friends are the family you choose' and 'family is love, not blood', but that only bespeaks so much. Hannah's predicament is very well-established, and that Throttle and Charley find themselves unable to resolve it until post-climax "For Worse" is not unrealistic. That being said, little nitpick: the "I love you and I want to marry you, you big lummox!" quote seems a little out of place, maybe because of the use of lummox. It just doesn't seem like something Charley would say, even though the nature of the comment is accurate.
The series as a whole is obviously not comedic, but I do like how you sprinkle the comedy in to relieve some of the tension. It was especially effective in the hospital in "In Sickness". Not much else to say about it besides the fact that you used just enough to alleviate the tension, but not so much that it seemed out of place.
Despite everything, I am intrigued to see how Carbine will react when she realizes her 'plan' didn't work, and backfired most horribly. Though I doubt she'd react in the same extreme as Jack, there is much truth to the 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' saying. On that note, I do like how you portray Carbine here. She's not a selfish woman who just wants her man back; you convince me that she honestly does love him. The love is unrequited, and you imply that it always has been, but Carbine really does want to be with Throttle. I do wonder what will become of that little plot thread.
Your discussion of the nature of life and sapience/sentience is also quite intriguing. After all, what is the difference between the test tube and the womb? One is alive, but can the child understand that? Does being grown and not born mean that one is a thing and not a person? What constitutes true life? That Hannah goes through these issues at such a young age is interesting, and I think that you portray it reasonably well. I've not been exposed to umpteen examples of this sort of dynamic, though, so I can't say exactly how well it was portrayed. However, Hannah's character was very convincing in how she acted, and that is good enough for me.
And to be honest, I can't do much else with character analyses. Much of what I've discussed with you regarding your "Wars Are Won" series carries over into this regarding Charley and the Bros, and I've already discussed much about Hannah and Jack, who are the only characters with any sort of development that you've introduced. Plot-wise and story-wise, the work is sound. The series as a whole has a plotline akin to f(x) sin(x)1 where f(x) cannot equal 0 (I can't help it; Math was my minor). It waves and fluctuates, but never dips too low.
So to sum up, I did like reading this series, and I enjoyed it very much. It took me a while to get used to, but for the reasons above, I would count it amongst the most effective works of fan-fiction that I have ever read. Awesome job! If there's anything else you would like to know, let me know and I can get back to you.
| Luthinea chapter 3 . 7/9/2011
This is a good story
| Cherrystone chapter 3 . 11/29/2009
I really like how you write the Biker Mice. Even on the show they are kinda cheesy and two dimensional, so it's impressive how you flesh them out like that with distinct personalities that match what we know about them.
On a different note, I too would have chosen Throttle out of the three of them, especially the way you write him.
Also, I didn't leave a separate review but you Tin Man story kept me up reading until 3 am yesterday. Good thing today is Sunday!
Thanks for sharing.
| PIXX33 chapter 3 . 8/25/2009
Throttle can be so blonde sometimes, but I'm glad he and Charley got together. Great story!
| griff-chan chapter 3 . 8/24/2009
N'aw, I love a happy ending to begin my week. Awesome story series and hope to see more Biker Mice stuff from you. Or any stuff in general, really D
| The Third Biker Scholar chapter 3 . 8/24/2009
(Does the Happy Dance of Joyous Victory!)
...(collapses in happy, tired heap) Whew! They're together! And hitched! Thank God! I loved this story, and I'm sorry to see it end. But I can't wait to read the next one, and here's hoping things work out for you and your muse!
...seriously though, thank you so much for keeping up with your writing. its an awesome inspiration for other authors, and I really do love reading your stuff. ride free!
| griff-chan chapter 2 . 8/17/2009
Good to see you writing again D As usual, this is great. Suspenseful, good character development, and an awesome villain. Down with Jack!
Keep it up D
| SamuraiPrincess01 chapter 2 . 8/17/2009
Oh wow, I cant believe I forgot to review this story. Glad to be reading your BMFM fiction again; I was going through some serious withdrawl.
This is a nail biter all the way, Bookworm. Dont stop!
| The Third Biker Scholar chapter 2 . 8/17/2009
awesome! I saw that you updated and it made my day!
poor hannah, may that bastard jack suffer soon! i can't wait to see what the bros will dish out on him once the other two find out abour that night.
i loved it and i can't wait to read more!
| Dragon77 chapter 2 . 8/17/2009
Great chapter! I can’t wait to read the next chapter so keep on writing and UPDATE SOON.
| Queena chapter 2 . 8/17/2009
OMG! I love the fact your writing again love love love. I wanted to login in but i cant this is Silver you been my favorite for years and i can't wait for the next chapter. Thank you so much for writting this...
| PIXX33 chapter 2 . 8/17/2009
I'm on the edge of my seat! Your stories are awesome. I'll review as many times as you want me to as long as you continue.
| WickedNightingale chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
WoW great so far
| The Third Biker Scholar chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
first off, hurray and holy cow! to see you writing biker mice again, honey, i nearly fell off my chair and then whooped in joy!
and why, oh why, does dear throttle have the worst sense of timing? but i hope things get worked out for them, i love this pairing!
I can't wait to read more!