|Reviews for Journey through the Afterlife|
| True-Oblivion chapter 1 . 5/1/2011
this seems like an interesting story so if i can still get a char in:
Appearance: young face, sapphire blue eyes, dark blue hair reaching his shoulders, wears dark blue tracksuits and has small blue earbus, one is always in and the other is only out when talking to people
Personality: quiet, prefers not to talk unless nessesary,
Psych: single pin which launches black energy blades, (Can be used for any purpose, e.g. close quarters, ranged etc.)
| aestheticisms chapter 3 . 6/14/2010
Why am I re-reviewing? Oh yeah.
Is this going to continue? XDD I was wondering about this story, and I had few questions~
1) As another reviewer said around here, is this going to have a super major plot or is it a let's see how long your OC lives kind of story?
2) Each Harrier gets their own day, yes? Does that mean that every day or once a week a harrier gets a day? *Sorry if this was explained in the text, I'll have to re-read. XD
Okay, that's all from me- again~ - I'll be waiting patiently! XD
| megatengirl chapter 3 . 11/29/2009
Really great chapter I enjoyed the fight scenes though it is sad to see Kurai go so soon.
Well good luck with the next chapter.
| onyxshade7 chapter 3 . 10/18/2009
they may not have last,
but they did kick some a**
well, Ali and Ari might have a memento of the three, if the lighter's still around.
anyway good luck, this only goes up.
| MoogleCoat chapter 3 . 10/18/2009
Whoo Hoo you updated. Thought you died "teardrop followed by nervus laugh" anyway... loved this chapter (best part was "...Like Chris" ) I also loved the tell-tale heart quotes can't wait for more!
| Acerbus Wings chapter 3 . 10/17/2009
Aw, I'm kinda sad to see Kurai go. I liked his character, as creepy as hearing him quote Beowolf in his sudden appearance was. RIP.
Anyway, battles were an improvement over the last (namely because of length I think) and I loved the end of the chapter with Uwain appearing out of nowhere and ruining the moment of victory. Sad, but it really gives the impression that anyone can be toast in this fic.
Just a bit of critique:
-Some spelling errors/word misplacements and awkward word phrasing/word tense (i.e: " It's impossible to win against this guy if I hardly knew how this thing works", should be " It's impossible to win against this guy if I hardly know how this thing works", if its referring to Rafe's camera like I think its implying. If she meant the clock then it's awkward phrasing)
-It's sometimes hard to tell who's talking in some quotes because of some quotes and character actions being in the same line right after each other.
-You might want to slow down some areas to milk the moment for character reactions. For example, when Shigeki attacked Alison with his whip that might have been a nice area to stretch a little since they know Kurai's a guyhunting them and a guy just attacked them out of nowhere.
PS: Echoing 2percent's question, I'm curious if you're going to take the story into the direction of an overall plot or more of a "big OC brawl", if you don't mind the question.
| David Najarian chapter 2 . 10/17/2009
I have a player character
Name: Spiros Gemini
Appearance: Wears a beanie (not like Beat's, nothing hanging off of it.) with copper colored hair emerging from beneath it; a black hoodie that always seems to have the hood up. Rather dark, loose fitting jeans, and Asics running shoes. Dull grey eyes.
Personality: Doesn't really care about the game. He is only kept going by his partner. He seems to think the world would be better off without him.
Psych: Uses pins, but isn't very gifted with his ablities. He can only use Lightning psychs.
| 2percent chapter 3 . 10/17/2009
Haikus are awesome
An very fun character
Question. Is this game going to have any underlying story, or is it just a big OC brawl? It's fine either way, but I'm just wondering.
| LastPrelude chapter 3 . 10/17/2009
An update! Hurrah!
Nice chapter, too. I'm anxious to see what happens!
And Shigeki got erased...oh well. Had to be done. At least he went down with a bang.
I thought that poem seemed familiar... Tell-Tale Heart, eh? Nice.
Anyways, good luck on future chapters!
| mcdoomburger chapter 3 . 10/17/2009
Nice! You live! I thought for a while that you had died or something but you live. I think this is an awe-inspiring story and can't wait for day three, whatever it may hold. Update soon, please.
| Luna Dial chapter 3 . 10/16/2009
Brilliant. This is...just completely awesome. I love how you write Ari's additude, which makes it more awesome than any expectations I had for this.
Can't wait for the next part~
| Roaringthunder chapter 3 . 10/16/2009
And thus ends Kurai
His journey so brief but strong
May he rest in peace
Quite a fitting end to my little OC, was it not? Pity he left so soon, but you have made up for it my friend, with the excellent portrayal, better than my own.
I shall see you in Week Two, mayhaps as a Player?
I bid you adieu till then, for now I only watch to see who wins.
*It echoes in the distance,
a roar as loud as time,
lightning flashes briefly,
the clouds above do climb...*
| RawkstarVienna chapter 3 . 10/16/2009
I rather enjoyed this chapter, except the fact that half of our cast got erased. *chuckles* Anyways, the Tell Tale Heart references made my heart go boom, I loved them and your grammar is impeccable. Hahaha Alex called Damon David. Hee-hee.
Can't wait for your next update, which I will wait for extrememly patiently
| The Genius Mage chapter 3 . 10/16/2009
I don't know who the hell did Kurai, but he's an awesome character. Sometimes it was hard to tell who was talking, you write with the quotes all in once sentence.
But I loved it~. And finally, an update!
I was afraid ALison would die. Awesome. She lives!
| RubyChimera chapter 2 . 10/16/2009
interesting fic. Here is my character. ill pm you the history and death. are we allow to submit only one character? what do you mean by character entrance fee exactly? if need more Pm me please
Name: Yume Holnuka
Appearance: purple turtle neck. Black flare jeans. Black steel toe boots. Backpack with variety of stuff in it. Black hair with long bangs that surrounds her face. Her hair is usually loose that reaches midback. If her hair keeps going to her face she will braid her bangs and combine them in the back into a ponytail which will prevent her hair going into her face. She has blue eyes that are hidden by a pair of tinted goggles. She has a pale, runner type body.
Personality: She is quiet and sly. People mistake her as being shy. She never tells lie but usually never tells the whole truth. She is a bit antisocial. Very hard to gain her trust. She is more friendly, and talkative around those who has gain her trust.
Psych: 2 small Tessens (war Fans) she tends to hide them in her sleeves or have one around her wrist.