|Reviews for Suzaku's Sin|
| mathue white chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
i'd like to hear a story about the lancelot, and the mental aspect of fighting inside of it. i think feeling along the lines of this story could work in a battle scene. i know that when i've been in mortal peril before that i have the most random crap go through my head.
| AcerbusEquinomin56 chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
I'll give it love then.
It was well written and didn't seem flawed, but...it seemed to be a simple fragment of what could have been.
You did well with the length, but had you expanded it even slightly larger the elaborations could have been invaluable.
I think that the story is plausible and a solid ground to stand on whether by manipulation of the original story or original material.
This was a successful story, well written and admirable. I would suggest "brightening" your dialogue, even if it does consist of quotes.
When I say brightening, I do not mean lightening the mood of the piece or making things happy. I mean to make things more life-like or even expressing them more a sincere approach, something that you or someone you know would say.
I liked this story, but with all reviews that I give, I attempt both praise and criticism.
| tastes-like-ciel chapter 1 . 8/11/2009
That was very good. :D It was sad, but I liked it.