|Reviews for Turn Back the Pages|
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/21/2012
It was fantastic, very well written, and the italics before each seperate part helped tell the story, give it something extra. Well done.
Oh, by the way:
Hot blood splashed across the ground, as though someone had scattered ruby droplets. Madara staggered back. His face was a mask of surprise and then he dropped to the ground. Deidara stared at him, surprised. He had finally killed him, after everything he had put her through. He could never harm her or her loved ones again. He had gotten his revenge.
"It's done…" Reiko sighed contently.
*coughs quietly* Reiko sighed contently should be Deidara sighed contently.
It is definitley good for an AU starring Deidara.
| Chocoholics Unite chapter 1 . 1/28/2012
SO SAD :'(
* anime cries*
| moonwolf chapter 1 . 7/29/2010
i thought it was great you are a fantasic writer kita
| ICreateDestruction chapter 1 . 12/13/2009
I'm new to this site, so I haven't done much. This is the first story I've read on here, and I like to give balanced reviews. So here goes, and don't take this too harshly, please.
There was pretty good descriptions, but...Well, I tell you that later.
I like the character, Nobara, she seems to be a very understanding character.
Bad Stuff(My least favorite, but it must be done.):
Unfortunately, there were a lot of problems. First, with the descriptions, you seemed to tell a lot of things that you should let the reader assume, such as Nobara worrying if he's hurt. It's more of telling style. I do it too, though, so don't worry.
Some of the wording in your scentences seems awkward, like it should be written another .
You need to give characters a reason for doing what they're would she marry Tobi if she didn't love him? Why would Tobi marry her, just to kill her? It seems pointless. And Deidara, defeating Madara just isn't likely. I get why he wants revenge, there's a reason behing his actions, but not Nobara or Tobi's actions. That give the story little realism, even if these are fictional characters.
Overall, it was average writing. Keep working, you have potential.
I underatand it's an AU story, but that doesn't change characters' caliber of fighting, and Madara is not only an amazing ninja, but he can recover from fatal blows, so I don't see that happening.
Oh, where did the explosion come from? That made no sense. There were just a lot of holes in the plot, and I just feel like you need to work a little more.
You seem like the type of writer who's always gotten positive feedback, (save for jealous people, I've had those myself), and people only giving reviews about how awesome the stories are. I feel you need to wake up and improve before you belive people who wouldn't know a good story if it bit them in the butt. Please, improve, for your benefit, and for those around you.
Not trying to be mean. I just want to make people better weriters. Don't be offended.
| arsenous elation chapter 1 . 10/25/2009
Wow. wow. I could only say...wow. Good story! :)
| Darkened Angel Feathers chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
Thank you! BOOM! And I died!
*Can't stop laughing* I'm sorry, but I like it so much, I'm laughing! :D
| Oturan Ikamuzu 1 chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
| Tea-PartyCrasher chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
I like it! I feel bad for Nobara and Kaori. And I'm glad Deidara got his vengence...never thought I say I was glad someone got vengence...But Madara deserved it...he made me mad. Can't wait till the next one!