|Reviews for Turbulence|
| anko chapter 1 . 7/14/2014
I like it
| Madam'zelleG chapter 1 . 4/28/2010
This made me cry. Well done!
| The Woods Witch chapter 1 . 4/11/2010
The was marvelously written.
It made me cry.
| PeanutTree chapter 1 . 1/13/2010
I liked this very much. I think the weather coinciding with the argument was very artfully done, and the argument itself was written so well.
| JaspersLilRed chapter 1 . 1/5/2010
Omg, I was borderline crying when Watson started crying. This is very well written and I love Watson so much.
| IrregularHonour chapter 1 . 9/22/2009
There was a sincerity in this story that touched me. You didn't overdo the melodrama and I do believe that you drew some of your material from personal experience.
| Tastytime chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
First of all congratulations on this story, I really enjoyed it. It was written in a very good fashion and it dealt with a subject that is too often missing in the Holmes world! I am sure you will not mind me proffering one or two minor points of constructive criticism (certainly in no sense a flame) in order to help perhaps in the future.
Firstly the language that was used sometimes struck me as too modern. Naturally it is authors preferences as to which style they like to use, but the usage of z instead of s, anachronistic words (ass though used obviously in 19th century literature- 'then the law is an ass' doesn't fit with the usage here,) and the coping etc.
Secondly I may possibly be wrong here but I believe that from it's earliest point of manafacture nitro-glycerine has been a dangerous explosive, and has absolutely no medical bearing whatsoever. Indeed I'd assume it was inimical to the human body. If Dr Watson wanted to end his life then he'd have much faster, simpler ways of doing it. Laudanam is known to have produced a slow poisoning and in a far more pleasant way. Or for a quick death- arsenic was readily avaliable to a doctor. Even as a way of spiraling into despair- opium or various other drugs.
Thirdly the pyschology behind Watson's grief (i.e. Holmes analysis) is deeply flawed. Most of the modern language of pyschology whether rightly or wrongly springs from Freud and Jung. At the time we can safely suppose this story to take place, Freud had barely begun practicing let alone have formulated most of these concepts. Indeed the concept of pyschology itself as a seperate science was not a reality until around 1879. Books of pyschology simply don't make sense especially not for Holmes. Watson is not demonstrative. A display of anger and grief while perhaps necessary would never take place in front of Holmes. Watson is an army man in the way people were back then. The stiff upper lip really existed.
Anyhow I really enjoyed the story and please don't think I'm pointing flaws just for the sake of it. I've only written one Holmes story myself and trust me I know how difficult he is to get right! Keep on writing and I'll keep reading :)
| MamzelleCombeferre chapter 1 . 8/31/2009
adding as a favorite
| Renna33 chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
oh wow, this was very good, I liked it :)
| Eyebrows2 chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
Very bittersweet, lovely little AU. I hope writing it helped you too. Thanks.
| DraejonSoul chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
This is a very lovely little story. And yes, we deal with our own grief the best we can. And sometimes, we wallow ourselves too deeply in a hole that we fail to see anything else. I totally agree that Watson could never forget such a remarkable woman as his Mary. I salute Holmes for being a willing sacrificial lamb to Watson's thunderous rage. He knows his Boswell very well. Good for both!
I liked how the scene ended, and that little scene with Mrs. Hudson (though I don't recall her addressing Holmes without a prefix of a title). It just shows the dynamics of their relationship in their little world.
Thanks for the read! _
| reflekshun chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
Bart, that was wonderful! I agree that it is one of your best pieces. Thank you for sharing.
| stonegnome1 chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
One odd word choice.
He is under a lot of duress; I may have to give this tête-à-tête credence. Holmes thought.
Main Entry: du·ress
Pronunciation: \du̇-ˈres also dyu̇-\
Etymology: Middle English duresse, from Anglo-French duresce hardness, severity, from Latin duritia, from durus
Date: 15th century
1 : forcible restraint or restriction
2 : compulsion by threat; specifically : unlawful constraint
i sugest stress instead.
| Mam'zelleCombeferre chapter 1 . 8/12/2009
I honestly can't believe this never got any reviews. I myself am trying extremely hard to write an AU fic like this and it is called Dawn. This was extremely poignant and touching. I myself have been lucky to never lose someone closer than a grandparent, but I do know what it is like to cry your eyes out. There was a freshman who died in his sleep this last year and even though I didn't know him personally, a lot of the band did and I couldn't stand the helpless feeling that settled over me when I say all my closest friends sobbing and I couldn't say anything to make it better. That was the suckiest day of school ever.