Reviews for Separation
iChaos chapter 15 . 11/9/2012
In all fairness, Charlie was the most vulnerable character. he probably knew that he wouldn't survive the fight. Be that as it may, that was one of the most despicable plot twists I've ever seen in a Twilight fanfic, and I don't think I can finish reading the story.

I'm sorry, this fic started out wonderfully, but this one just isn't to my liking.
iChaos chapter 14 . 11/9/2012
At this point, I'm thinking that unless Bella is going to descend from heaven and smite the Volturi with the wrath of God as an avenging angel, the upcoming confrontation is not going to be very pretty at all.
iChaos chapter 12 . 11/9/2012
I seldom leave a critical review of any fanfiction, because after all, each story is what the author wants it to be and I understand that everybody has different ideas about how the characters behave or the direction the plot is going.

Usually, any given story makes some amount of sense in the end and so as long as it is written well, reading it is an enjoyable experience. This time though, I just don't get it. Which is weird, because this chapter basically spells out the entire plot, but right now I'm not seeing the point of it all if Bella's death does in fact drive Edward to commit suicide.

However, you are doing an exceptional job portraying the relationship between Charlie and Renesmee and if they can somehow find happiness then the fic will be worthwhile. I guess I just don't see why that should have to include Jacob or even the Cullens in order for that to happen.
iChaos chapter 11 . 11/9/2012
I'm not buying it. The events of this chapter were just way too convenient. Although you tried to demonstrate conflict within the tribe, the outcome seemed a little contrived.
iChaos chapter 10 . 11/9/2012
Huh? How is it possible that Jacob wouldn't know who she is? I can see how he may not have made the connection right away - that's understandable - but he was part of the pack when she was born, and he would have to recognize the names at the very least.
iChaos chapter 9 . 11/9/2012
Well, that's actually rather disappointing. I admit, Jake imprinting on Renesmee was a perfectly valid and reasonable event in the original books - it was a convenient way to resolve all of the relationships for the HEA ending. I this story though? I'm not getting it at all - but I will give it a chance.
iChaos chapter 8 . 11/9/2012
Why on Earth would they go back to Washington in the first place, let alone interact with anybody from the tribe? I mean, I realize that probably has a lot to do with the rest of the plot, but common sense would be for them to never go anywhere near the place again.
iChaos chapter 7 . 11/9/2012
What a poor, stupid SOB Edward is. It's depressing just imagining him like that. Just when things look really bleak though, leave it to the wolves to liven things up a bit.
iChaos chapter 6 . 11/9/2012
Whoa. I did not anticipate that this story would make me feel bad for Edward, but dammit, you pulled it off.
iChaos chapter 5 . 11/9/2012
That actually makes a lot of sense. Based on the characterizations in the books, that's pretty much exactly how I would imagine the tribe to act.
iChaos chapter 4 . 11/9/2012
LOL. Great characterization of Renesmee, but I have to ask: Who nicknamed her "Nessie" if Jacob has never met her? I would think that Charlie would have called her Nez or something.
iChaos chapter 3 . 11/9/2012
Charlie has a very good point - knowledge of the Cullens true nature is something that he had every right to hear about, especially from his best friend of all people. Although Billy is suddenly much more forthcoming now, I cannot help but think that it's too little too late.

Given Billy's attitude about the Cullens, or vampires in general, I'm sure he is going to react very badly once he finds out about Renesmee.
iChaos chapter 1 . 11/9/2012
I have no trouble whatsoever accepting that Charlie would be able to handle this. As far as I'm concerned, this guy never gets enough credit. Say what you will about how little time he spent with Bella as she was growing up, or the consequences of how he left her to her own devices when she did move back to Forks, but none of that changes the fact that Charlie would never let her down when it really matters. Same goes for Renesmee.
Wernern chapter 17 . 8/8/2012
Interesting FanFic... until you started jumping from Viewpoint to Viewpoint.

Really: stick to one!

nice ideas and everything but make one charakter and concentrate on that single one charakter... there is no need for everyones view.
Duckett Lights chapter 1 . 3/31/2012
Just by reading the first chapter will make me read more so I'll do it the next day I love this!
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