Reviews for No Matter What
Melody Syper Carston chapter 5 . 12/29/2010
Awe~! Cute cute ending!
Dark-Angel-Princess 01 chapter 6 . 8/4/2010
Kya! I love this! Why did it have to end here! Please please please update really really soon!
cyberanegl chapter 1 . 7/17/2010
hes ok...im so happy
sister momo chapter 6 . 6/1/2010
i think you should do that that would be cool and intersting
Selbe chapter 6 . 12/22/2009
You definitely should! I want to see what sweet Kaoru would do if gang members grabbed his Hikaru!
duckie lover 151 chapter 5 . 9/6/2009
Somehow, it doesn't surprise me that Hikaru is overproctective and overreacted a bit. I really didn't think Kaoru needed a doctor.
duckie lover 151 chapter 4 . 9/6/2009
At least he's okay. And, damn, I would've lost the bet...
duckie lover 151 chapter 3 . 9/6/2009
NO! KAORU! I'd bet anything that the gang isn't there when he comes back. No, I'm not serious, just in case they are. It's too bad honey or mori sempai aren't with them...
Cole-Hyuuga chapter 6 . 9/6/2009
NO~! Kaoru uke~! always~! PLEASE~! write another one of Kaoru uke in danger~!

Cole xoxo
Cole-Hyuuga chapter 6 . 9/6/2009
NO~! Kaoru uke~! always~! PLEASE~! write another one of Kaoru uke in danger~!

Cole xoxo
leshamarieinuyasha chapter 6 . 9/5/2009
I've already told you that u should :3

I loved the first one and a second one would be stellar

Make it a bit different then the first though

Switch it up a bit

YOU'RE DOING GREAT!
CruellyHonest chapter 6 . 9/4/2009
To answer your question: No. Don't write another one. This fanfiction...Isn't BAD persay. Honestly I've read much worse.

That being said I have a few pointers for you so please listen, this is NOT a flame, just an honest critique.

Your characterization isn't that bad at all. The boys...for the most part are basically in character. Though the whole Karou getting snatched up by gangsters thing...very unbelievable.

I think the most obvious thing you need to work on is length. Your chapters are MUCH too short in length, try to strive to make them at least a page long...also? The sentences are too short as well, and lack depth.

For example:(this is from chapter one of this fanfiction)

“Yeah, sure I guess we can go.” Kaoru replied sleepily.

Not bad. Not too bad at all. However try to work with that just a bit more, something like this:

"Yeah...Sure Hikaru." The younger twin let out a light yawn, a hand coming up to scratch at his hair. "I guess we can go..." His tone reeked of sleep deprivation as he blinked his eyes, attempting to adjust to the light in the room.

See what I mean? Not only does doing something like that add more depth, but it adds more LENGTH too. Give them more actions to work with and you'll find your writing will sound better.

Also...Try to make the plots just a bit more believable. I'm pretty sure it would be highly unlikely for Karou to get 'trapped' by an obvious group of gangsters in the middle of the day in the middle of a shopping mall or whatnot.

Try to make it just a little more realistic. You didn't even give the gangsters a REASON to grab Karou. Like...Instead of them just GRABBING him, how about giving them a motive?

Maybe one of them noticed the boys were wearing extremely expensive looking clothing? Maybe they saw the boys arrive in a limo or something, so that's why they wanted to 'kidnap' Karou to try and get money because he's obviously rich.

Also, like I said. A whole gang, walking around in the middle of the day in a populated area? Very unlikely. Gangs don't necessarily work that way in Japan. Plus people would've noticed, and called the cops right away or something?

Also, if it was a well populated area, security guards/officers would be roaming the area.

All in all I found the plot to be just a bit boring. Not to mention everything just seemed to happen TOO quickly. Though, I'm extremely happy that you can actually write with CORRECT punctuation. Finally. It's a miracle, I thought people on this site forgot how to write English correctly. I found little to no spelling errors. And you capitalized correctly. So THANK you for that.

You have a lot of potential!

I hope you'll take what I've written to you and use it to your advantage. Keep writing, keep practicing, and strive to get better.

~CruellyHonest
RockerGirl0709 chapter 6 . 9/4/2009
YES! Yes, yes, yes, and a million times...YES! I would love you forever if you wrote another No Matter What! This one was already awesome! I can't wait to see how the next one'll turn out! Thank you so much! I love you to death!
Mared and the Jarcuses chapter 5 . 8/21/2009
Aww! So cute! I'm glad that nothing bad happened to them! Hikaru and Kaoru rock!
charrybarry chapter 5 . 8/18/2009
AW! that was sweet!
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