|Reviews for Making the Cut|
| momof2jcs chapter 12 . 7/8/2011
Found your story - had to read all 12 chapters to get caught up so I could comment. I love it! Their inner voices have me cracking up. Thanks.
| amcmunn chapter 12 . 7/7/2011
This story has been on my list to read for a while. I'm SO glad that I finally got to it. Love your characterization of Bella and my personal favorite character, Charlie. Hope you're going to continue it and RL has calmed down for you.
| SweetAugust13 chapter 1 . 7/3/2011
Oh yeah! (: Cadets are hot! I work at a police academy and damn.. seeing them work-out is sigh worthy.
| Mrs. M Cullen chapter 12 . 6/17/2011
I just caught up on your story and I just wanted to say I like it! Hope you update soon!
| kinsano chapter 12 . 6/13/2011
OMG! You hair-cutting cockblocker! You made Bella, who's had one-and-a-half alcoholic beverages in eleven chapters btw, drunk purposely just to cheat us out of the-Chief-loves-Copward celebratory sex! That's just wrong!
Seriously, though, loved the chapter! I loved Charlie's reaction (or rather, non-reaction) and just how cool both Renee and Charlie are in this story. I did find Bella's drunkeness to be ooc since she didn't seem to need alcohol before or after stressful situations previously in the story. You could've just had her confess her love by talking in her sleep, AFTER THE SEX, which would've been in character...
And forget about sex, what *normal* twenty-something year old, non-virgin couple goes 12 weeks without even getting TO SECOND BASE? And no, over the clothes public boob-gropes and incomplete dry humps don't count. It'd be one thing if they'd decided to wait until after Edward graduates-some concrete time frame to chafe against-but as of now the reader has no idea why they are waiting other than a vague "it doesn't feel right." Why doesn't it? We hear a lot of their inner horniness but not really any of their reservations. Quite frankly, any couple as horny as E & B seem to be, from their inner dialogues, could easily get around the flimsy cockroadblocks they've been dealt. Edward's poor scorched dick has been the only real excuse-and he never mentioned it to Bella. Neither one acts like they really want it as bad as they THINK they do, but neither the readers nor characters know why they think one way and act a different way.
I actually do get that they are both subconsciously hesitant to have sex because their feelings aren't casual, but you are being too subtle about it. There needs to be more expressed inner conflict. Bella is supposed to be a straight shooter-she admits to herself that she's a bitch and she's afraid of Alice, but we don't hear her admit she's afraid of getting too emotionally involved with Edward and losing herself or whatever the reason might be that she got drunk to avoid having sex with Edward. And she has to have a legitimate reason for getting drunk or she'll come off as the shallowest, most stupid Bella-I-would-bitchslap-if-she-were-real ever written.
As this is constructive criticism and not meant to be a pistol-whipping by words, I offer a quick fix: either have them at least start rounding the bases, or explain to the characters and the readers why they're reluctant to even come up to bat, because "I/you have to get up early," or "I had to drink myself into a stupor because I can't get prickly pear margaritas anywhere else, silly" aren't valid reasons.
And just so you know, I do really like your story. If I didn't, I wouldn't waste my precious spare time suggesting how to tighten up your writing, nor raise my blood pressure dealing with FF's review box's weird and absofuckinglutely maddening flippy deal when it thinks your review is too long... Of course, this is just my opinion, for what it's worth, maybe nothing, but it's feedback right? I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. I greatly admire anyone who gives up their own precious free time to entertain us readers. And as I reread over these few paragraphs that have taken me literally hours to write and rewrite, I know how hard it is to translate feelings into words and convey what you want to say in a clear and concise way. So, if what I've said helps, great, if not, ignore me and just know that I will happily read the rest of the story and be just as...relieved... as Copward when he finally gets to use his nightstick ;)
| kinsano chapter 6 . 6/13/2011
Doesn't Bella realize Tanya's going to go straight to Jake and tattle? She'll get around Bella's threat because Jake will go after Bella and Emmett will give Jake a beatdown during which Jake will tell Emmett about Bella f***ing some recruit. At that time Emmett will turn on Bella and she will (either tearfully with guilt or with her foot in his balls-I can't decide which is more likely yet) tell Em about Edward. I haven't read beyond chap. 7, so this is all a guess...
| kinsano chapter 2 . 6/12/2011
I'm so surprized that Edward didn't make some comment about Bella's breasts being in his face while she washed his hair...
| TigerBelle chapter 6 . 6/1/2011
Love the characters! Got the rec from A/N on Emancipation Proclamation. YEAH!
| CarlieC chapter 12 . 5/31/2011
Just started reading this story. can't wait to read more. Update soon please!
| kavelf chapter 3 . 5/29/2011
Looking forward to reading what kind of havoc Jacob reeks. Thanks for the words.
| lynno chapter 12 . 5/29/2011
yay! you're back! i almost gave up on this story...almost. loving it and hope that you will be finishing it
| annnicw17 chapter 12 . 5/28/2011
LOVE LOVE this story.. I'm a cosmetologist/twilight lover also so this story sucked me in right away and i couldn't stop readying hope you continue and we get to ready more soon! :)
| natalayx chapter 12 . 5/28/2011
Oh my god. I love everything about this story. It's so funny and cute and ahhhh, I just can't even express me love for it. And I know I haven't left you a review for the other chapters and I'm really sorry about that, but I'll be honest with you. I'm a lazy effin bitch sometimes.
So I'm just gonna leave all of my thoughts in this review for you, lol. I love Alice and Edward's playfulness, I think It's really sweet and funny. Their name calling and little banters.
I love Bella and Alice's friendship. It has flaws sometimes but that's what makes it real. I love Bella's ranting in her head, and the random shit she says, and all of her witty phrases and what not. It's really amusing, you always have me laughing with enjoyment.
I love how much of a strong person she is when it comes to Jake... He's a disgusting effing pig, by the way. Errrgggh, he irks me to no end. I can't believe he's starting to manipulate and intimidate Angela. She's his sister, that's just effed up. Stoopid wanker.
Anyway... Jesus Christ, let me just say. You seriously had me cackling like a crazy witch in this chapter. Especially with drunk Bella. That was too facking funny. Seriously. I love hers and Edward's personalities so much. And Alice and Jasper's and Rose and Emmett, okay, so pretty much everyone's...
Usually some people don't like the constant swearing from Bella and the rest of the girls in some fics, but I swear like a god damn sailor, so I find it amusing and funny.
You are seriously amazing. Keep up the fantastic work. Can't wait to see the rest of this story and B&E's relationship progress. xx
| kavelf chapter 2 . 5/24/2011
| kavelf chapter 1 . 5/24/2011
I was just on kharizzmatik's ff page, and thought I'd check out her favourite author's list. I figured it would be good. I hadn't hear of your story, so here I am. Absolutely love the first chapter. Thanks for the story.