Reviews for Antidote
electric gurrl chapter 1 . 6/10/2014
This was pretty good. There were a few typos and while the dialogue was good contentwise, it would be helpful to have more context between what the women were saying. But I thought it was incredibly sweet.
FUCKER chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
Fefisgbf13 chapter 1 . 10/25/2011
this piece has my heart 3
BamBamLW chapter 1 . 11/27/2010
Thanks, I enjoyed this story. I hope you write more romance stories about Shepard and Liara.
Spoonbender chapter 1 . 4/28/2010
A very thoughtful story. It is interesting to see in your story how the weight of events are seemingly taking their toll in the otherwise impregnable commander Shepard. It is the patience and understanding of Liara serve to allay his tension.
Jojje chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
I like how you wrote it so both Shepard genders fit. Good approach, I like it. Will watch this.
MasterCorran chapter 1 . 8/15/2009
Ok, not bad. Off to an interesting start. If I can make one or two suggestion though. Firstly, I would suggest that you narrate the story from either:

a) first-person perspective (Liara's point-of-view)


b) third-person perspective (your own point-of-view)

The second-person perspective you used to narrate this story feels kind of awkward as if the reader is inside the story being a "puppet to your will and dictation" if you don't mind me saying, rather than being a passive observer.

I also noticed that the whole "15 minutes thing" was confusing at first because I thought you meant that Shepard started to fall asleep, then immediately, Joker cuts in about the "15 minutes until landing" thing until I realised this event was a bit later on in the story. I advise you to place a breaker of some sort like a line to split the chapter into several segments if the chapter has a time-skip or you're going to tell different parts of the story in one chapter so they don't get the reader confused.

Overall, a fair attempt. Keep practicing and try reading other works of literature to improve your stories.