|Reviews for Shades of Gray|
| Roku - Molester of Science chapter 1 . 5/22/2014
As clear as it is that this is another author, the reunion with the story is sweet and well written.
| Onezey chapter 7 . 12/15/2009
Better late than never...
You are the one consistent reviewer after all...
But on your paring query, to reassure you, there will be no RaeRev pairing, that I can assure you (Ry has something planned for Raven later, so I'll leave it to him.)
But in my defense, I haven't actually gotten an age for Rev yet, but he's looks like in his late-twenties (note the looks like' part.) The beauty of ambiguity...
I'll let you decide if he's a in his twenties or in his thirties...
Everyone should judge it with their own interpretation!
While I am not surprised you jumped all over that little addition, Tia, you should know I just love to imply things, like to suggest what COULD happen. Not necessarily WILL happen. I know, I'm horribly devious...
Also the 'One slight difference' part, honestly I thought you pick up what I was referring to there...
But yes, your worrying is well justified, even Ry thinks I've jumped the shark quite gruesomely right now, but give me a chance, I assure you nothing will ever come out of that 'little moment'.
Just showing that Rev can 'appear' to be quite the hero sometimes (and quite the bastard in other times, whoops that's next chapter).
Anyway yes, thanks for the feedback Tia! Hope you don't take that playful little hint too seriously. (If you take all of my subtle hints so seriously you shall go mad.)
| Tianimalz chapter 7 . 12/14/2009
I read this awhile ago... like, two or three weeks ago, and had started writing the review... SORRY LMAO
In my defense, I've been kicking ass on this original story, and with the help of a friend am pitching two chapters (roughly 30 pages a night) a day, and been mulling over plots and edit work _ I've sort of been out of my TT funk lately, gr, trying to get to the mojo.
NOW TO YOUR STORY;
While the beginning had a fluency to it, I found it was kind of boring. Too much monologue. That is the one thing that is bothering me at the real moment. If I where you, I'd break the paragraphs up more, and try to compress metaphors into smaller, more distinct ways. Quality over quantity ;) Though I do like the fact you are putting that kind of effort into your metaphors, it shows you're trying, and you care about the comparison.
You might want to open up chapters with more bite to them, because though while I love reading fluent fight scenes, I like a chapter to grab my attention right away. Maybe starting with someone yelling, or a loud noise 8) Just a suggestion.
YAY SANZA AS RED X! MY RED X! -TACKLES HIM-
Loved the kick-ass fight scenes btw. The one with Robin was just plain EPIC. Robin is such a stubborn person, he doesn't go down easy, and man did you really pressure that point of his personality. Good job.
But I have to say... I have quite a word to hold with out on this tidbit;
For a moment, as the force of tugging her back up from her downfall, Raven’s hood fell back, revealing her glimmering dark eyes. For just a moment, just a tiny, little moment while the pair was in the air, their eyes aligned and Raven could just make out the little wisps of Reverend’s vivid eyes from that dark visor. It was an encounter not unlike Red X and Terra’s during their fateful night in the sinister Sedaris’ labyrinth, only with one slight difference.
...WTF... DUDE IS THERE GOING TO BE A REV/RAE PAIRING?... because honestly, that is going to creep the shit out of me, LOL! Because isn't Rev like... an older adult?... -creeped-
But over all good chapter, really loved Robin getting the crap beaten out of him, that is always nice to see characters bleed 8)
Keep up the good work!
| Onezey chapter 6 . 9/19/2009
Yes! A super long review! Thanks so much Tia...
It is always such a wonderful feeling when you so much feedback!
Hypocrite? Haha, I love playing around with things like irony and etc, I think the general effect is quite good!
I do try to update quickly! But as I said, I am a streaky writer! Once I get on a roll, I write a ton of good stuff in random order (I rarely write in chronological order, I started writing this chapter ages ago because it was fun!)
So I am hopeless for keeping to deadlines and etc (though as a side note, I have started 'Morally Grey' but I have no idea when it might actually be finished, though like sooner rather than later).
I always appreciate constructive feedback... I try to avoid overusing words but I guess I liked the sound of the word 'infamous' a bit too much, maybe I'll ask Ry to change it at some point...
But thanks for pointing that out! It doesn't annoy me, in fact I am grateful!
I also liked the cat joke, I remembering hearing it in a House episode, couldn't resist noting it down and wanting to try and use it in my own story...
Rev is awesome! I love my OC... And glad you like him as well! I did my best to make him as mysterious and intriguing as possible, though in the next chapter we are going to learn a little be more about the atypical devout Christian (I really thought the tattoos were a nice touch).
I called them the unlikely pair for a very simple reason. They are an unlikely pair! And I like to emphasize the differences between them, one has no qualms about killing, one has no qualms about stealing, one has a strong sense of justice, one has a twisted sense of justice (I wonder which one is which? I'll let the reader decide).
(Though I should try to phrase it differently next time, maybe 'strange duo'.)
I did well on Robin? Score!
It is my goal to improve on my mistakes or as Rev puts it: "You make a mistake, you hone your skills until you never make that mistake again in your life."
And I remembered how last (two) time(s) you said Robin was a little off, so I did my homework and was trying hard on making sure I did him better!
Good to know I did my job well...
Robin is very persuasive so I wouldn't hold it against Beast Boy.
Sorry, in Rev's house, Sanza has to follow rules! Though you can't blame him... Rev is the kind of guy who might shank someone if they annoy him enough...
The End is Nigh...
I overuse the colour grey... shades of grey, next chapter is morally grey...
Thanks again for the long critique!
But that's the theme! So I can't do much else there.
| Tianimalz chapter 6 . 9/19/2009
After all, how could he work with someone who he didn’t know a thing about?
Hypocrite, LMAO. THANK YOU ONEZEY FOR UPDATING SO FAST! I LOVE FAST UPDATES! ITS LIKE DONUTS ON SATURDAY; IT NEVER GETS OLD.
On a really small side note, there was a line that irked me a little bit. If I don't let it out, I'll get all fidgety so I'll just point it out real quick, and hope you don't find me annoying at all XD
Seems that Sanza’s newfound infamy had preceded him.
“You’re infamous, kiddo.” Rev mentioned, in a tone that somehow managed to simultaneously convey both pride and irritability.
The fact that you used the same word phase(I.E. infamy, infamous) so close together really bugged me. I think it would have been better to so "popularity" rather than infamy, although that is SUCH a catchy word... like irk... never get tired of writing that, LMFAO okay moving on.
Wow... I just keep liking Rev more and more... (lol random note; I keep wanting to call him Reb, nickname of my best friend, LOL.) He is just so cool; smooth... hmm... he might be worthy for me to stalk. CONGRAZT! Like I said... I hardly EVER like OC characters, but man, Rev is just freaking awesome. I love his character, I love how he takes care of enemies (the darker types always intrigued me) and his sense of justice and a hint of self-redemption I seem to catch with him. Very interesting 8D
YAY THE TITANS -glormp- and lol I accidentally read "Father Abuela " as "Paula Abdul" LMAO -shot- Poor Terra, getting left behind. -pat- But she isn't exactly the best at thinking things through, which would be required for investigating, and seeing how personal this is; I really liked how you had Robin make her stay behind; that seemed very Robin-ish of him.
“Kid, have you ever heard of how curiosity killed the cat?” Rev asked, stifling a yawn. He really felt it was way too late for this kind of thing. It was well past midnight after all...
“Yeah, I’ve heard of it. But I figured that since I wasn’t a cat, it wouldn’t be a problem.” Sanza answered, with a smirk on his face.
Lol, if curiosity was the mind-bent destruction headed for Sanza to end his life, he would be dead by now, LOL!
I couldn't help but laugh either when X stole that coat, it may have been a really small add-in, but I really liked it anyways. I like seeing Sanza, or X steal things; it doesn't matter what it's for, I just like seeing him revert to that desire he always holds. He wasn't always a good guy, and he knows that, he knows how to go back and play a little dirty, or get something he really wants; and that is just plain cool xD
Wearing disguises so people couldn’t recognize you was typically a good idea for people who didn’t want to be discovered and caught, much like Reverend and much like Red X.
Yeah except our brilliant lovable thief went on live tv without his mask on. LMFAO!
I almost expected Sanza to be a little more defiant with Rev telling him to change his clothes. I like how he wanted to be defiant, that to showed his character really well. But he has common sense too, and had to change anyways... I know I am making a deal out of this little scene, but again, it's usually these little scenes that can really make up the character, and I like how you're handing Sanza ) He seems a little too goody-goody for me, but at the same time he still has those Red X traits so I'm happy xD
...I bet Sanza looks really hot in that vest... -fangirlgiggle-
DON'T TELL TERRA I SAID THAT 8O she hates me enough.
hmm... I did notice you kept calling Sanza and Rev "Unlikely pair" in like... every scene change. Don't know if you did that on purpose or not xD
ranging from enticing deep-fried food, to the latest in 'performance enhancers'
LOL, oh our playboy doesn't need any of those, -wink- LOL -shot-ow
... man, now I'm hungry for sum ramen noodles... thanks a lot 8I Even though I don't even think they where eating ranmen noodles... LOL but again LOL at Sanza trying to use chopsticks, I feel your pain dude.
“Or, she’s a very good actor and she’s just playing dumb,” reminded the skeptical voice in Robin’s head, bringing up plenty of evidence as he was involuntarily reminded of Terra’s betrayal of the Titans that had occurred so long ago… bringing back plenty of bad memories… memories of Slade…
OH MAN I LOVE THAT! Hit the nail right on the head, Robin. That was very powerful, but I love that you put that there. Because Robin's right, Terra IS a really good actor, and she knows it too. but at the same time, because forgiving and forgetting are so different; there will always be that slight suspicion because of her talents, and her past, Terra just isn't the most trustable person, no matter what change for the good she has ever done.
heehee, I could go on forever about that, -TERRAFAN- but I'll spare you and my fingers.
Of course... it doesn't seem Terra knows how to NOT dig herself in a trench -faceslap- I feel bad for Beast Boy too... I didn't expect him to tattle. 8( Robin is such a jerk... LOL yep that's him, he gets his mind on something and then its like trying to stop a train, he doesn't care who he runs over in the process, as long as he gets to that station. It's his strongest, and weakest point. Very good job on that, infact, I give you my head nod of approval. -HEADNOD-
Woa woa woa, WAIT... SANZA HAS TO FOLLOW RULES? -gasp- REV'S RULES? ... AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA SCORE: REV 1, SANZA'S PRIDE GOOSEEGG.
Dang Rev, ready for the end of the world or what? I have a feeling, that if say the end of the world DID come... Rev would be goin' at sir AntiChrist with all guns a-blazin. And for Rev... apparently that would be a lot. LOL.
Oh man I love the end of the spare, when Sanza gets all competitive, and Rev is just like a parent and like "well.. if you realy want to do that"
“You were the one who wanted to kick it into maximum overdrive…”
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE IT.
I really liked the ending too, poor Robin. I liked the little Batman mention in there too, it isn't good for authors to forget the characters roots, and how the characters will occasionally think back to those roots, how those roots will be the definition of how they grow. Good job on that.
And Gray, as EVERY Red X/Terra fan knows, is the best color ever.
Unless your a BBT fan too... then Green and Yellow...
GRAY IS A GOOD COLOR TOO. lol
Good chapter, nice and long and well thought out. Very interesting and I can't wait for the next one 8D
| oneortheother chapter 5 . 9/12/2009
Good to know you enjoyed it Tia! Good to know you were surprised (in a good way) with my OC Rev!
Though personally there are times I think I am spending too much time on my dear OC... I love the guy! (And I looked up this Rorschach fellow, I can see the resemblance but Rev wears cooler gear and a hood instead of a hat).
Also I am a very erratic writer, once I get on a role I write a lot of words... But if I'm stuck then I can't do that much...
But rest assured, I am doing my best! I'd say chapter 6 is half done (though I remind you that isn't actually that good an indication of exactly how long it will take me to finish it)
I am also hopeless with writing stuff in chronological order, out of the 20 odd chapters of this little fanfic I've probably done most of about 9 of them.
However it isn't much good to have finished chapters 1-5, chapter 9, chapter 15 and chapter 20... (yes I have actually finished the end but none of the stuff that leads up to it. I am that good)
And as for any possible roles Rev could play for X, well aside from in my own little 'spin-off of a spin-off', I have no idea what kind of role Rev will play for Sanza/Red X in the future (I'm just making it up as I go along). Ask Ry!
Onezey? Hmm, I think you certainly deserve a point for originality Tia...
| Tianimalz chapter 5 . 9/11/2009
but he couldn’t help but admire the inhuman marksmanship abilities of the gunman,
LMAO! Real nice Sanza, such a guy. It's like complimenting the guy who is beating you up because he has an awesome left hook xD
I'm very surprised; I was not bored of reading about (-giggle-) "Rev" at all. That is a big shocker for me, because I usually hate OC's, even my own and tend to skip past most of the scenes. But Rev is more interesting (maybe be cause he still reminds me of Rorschach, WHO I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T KNOW! Look him up, he's awesome :D)and I actually enjoyed reading about him. Haha, poor little Sanza, getting treated like a kid. Take that Red X pride. bawa.
Hmm, so he's on the run now, I'm assuming that their going to be going after the Red X suit. Swheetness. Not much else to say on this chapter... even though it was a lot of fun to read. I love you fight scenes Onezey, their really good! Not confusing at all, and very intriguing; I really like that.
The numerous times that Rev was compared to X's dad (Who was shot by a gang if I can remember that far back? I know he was shot... I just forget by who, LOL) has me thinking; especially since Rev knows so much about the gang life. I'm wondering what the connection is if there is one, or if the possible role Rev could end up playing for X. Very interesting if nothing else, and has me thinking just what you have planned.
Thanks for the updation 8D NOW WORK ON THE NEXT ONE LOL.
P.S: hehe, Onezey... I am so calling you that from now on. Sorry.
| Tianimalz chapter 4 . 9/11/2009
Yayness, two chapters at once! Uhg- I think I only have time to review one right now... but hopefully I can get to the next soon enough.
I really have mixed feelings on this chapter. I loved it as always; but the Red X fan of me is angry at all of this playing out. I mean c'mon, he's RED X, he could so break out of that place even with handcuffs. He's just that awesome. But then I went back and thought "well... maybe Sanza just isn't quite Red X anymore, maybe all that past stuff made him forget just how to be Red X." and I think that might be true... I think that having a relationship, being a normal human teenager, with normal worries and just living life for its normal boundaries, did something to simmer the Red X in Sanza. That would make sense I guess...
but I want Red X back, LMFAO!
Again I also thought Robin was a little off... he just seems a little too rash. I mean, yeah Robin is rash; but in a considerate way. He's so difficult, heehee.
I like how you had Terra consider breaking X-er-Sanza out, you gave her an imagination on how to do it, and it helped connect us with her a little. I know that's weird, but when you show those slight brief looks into how a character thinks, what they want and what extreme they really are willing to take to some point; it really helps us understand the character even more, and see their motives and emotions.
Aw, Beast Boy is such a great friend -hugs that adorable little green dude- Gotta love him.
Although I am getting highly suspicious. Hinting to Sanza/Cleo, and BBT... do not make me come at you with a Machete O I'm serious Onezey (haha, nickname, deal with it)
Still very interested in where this is all going. I'm wondering if perhaps during these trials and what not, if that rebellious part of Sanza is finally going to resurface, and take control of his life again; reverting back to Red X, and maybe even destroying his relationship with Terra along the way O wow I got a little ahead of myself... but just wondering. Poor Terra; always horrible luck with guys. Even the hot ones, LOL -shot-
UPDATE SOON-... oh... well you already did... so er...
THANKS FOR UPDATING SOON! I guess O_o;
| oneortheother chapter 3 . 8/25/2009
Thanks for the comments Tia, I wouldn't worry if you sounded a little harsh, feedback is feedback! And I am very grateful (I think Ry is as well).
Glad you liked my OC! Reverend is a guy I made up from scratch (no relation to RORSCHACH, whoever that is), a crazy merge of Darth Revan (The mask and the tactics)from SW:KOTOR, Gambit (the coat and the eyes) from X-men and Altair (the knives and assassination) from Assassin's creed.
I really liked Rev's gadgets as well as well as his generally manic moves.
Thanks again for trying to help!
Sadly, I cannot keep up the pace for so long and the next chapter will take a while.
| Tianimalz chapter 3 . 8/23/2009
Now THAT is irony. Red X finally going to jail- for something he didn't do, this time. LMFAO.
Although as much as I loved this chapter (of course!) I do have some critic-view things I'd like to share. Robin was the first to really catch my eye, I feel that his character was a little off... too hasty I think. Robin is a really hard character to pin point at times; the big thing to remember about him though is he thinks things through very thoroughly, even when he is too pumped up to notice things, he still thinks things through more then most people. I can believe that with all the excitement, he would jump to a conclusion (this being about Red X and the Reverend mix up)especially with Reverend putting off a lot of X's trademarks, I.E; the xynothphiem, and the little mocking salute (which is so cute in my fangirl view LOL) but I don't see Robin actually making it to jail with X in custody before things are thought threw a little more...
Yes, Robin messes up evil plans, even for authors- why do you think everyone hates him? lol jk jk.
But yeah, I thought Robin was a little off. Por Sanza, now I'm really excited about the next chapter though- can't wait to see Terra's reaction.
Another thing that irked me a little in this chapter, was that it almost seemed like a history lesson was trying to be played, more so when the little knife thingy came out of Reverends glove. Yeah, that weapon is TOTALLY cool, but I felt that as a reader, I didn't need a whole history lesson on it, and that if the information was completely needed, to come along at a different time; maybe while Red X is thinking back on Reverend, and thinks back on that information he knows about the weapon.
BTW: Reverend, now THAT is a cool name! Did you make this guy up? Or is he from some comic I don't know about? I like him D I have to admit, when I first thought "hmm... trench coat... weird mask... OMFG RORSCHACH?" LOL.
I also liked by the way; how you had Red X a little off his game. Seeing how he wasn't supposed to really be Red X anymore, it was a realistic touch to see Sanza having trouble remembering how to work certain things, and acting mostly on instinct rather then the awesome refined skill we all know he is capable of.
Sorry if this review came off as a little harsh- didn't mean it to be, just trying to help )
Loved this chapter (duh) and can't wait for more! Your fast updates are a rarity that I will treasure for as long as you keep them coming. Not many people update this fast, and with such long and thought out chapters non the less! I feel spoiled, heehee.
Keep up the good work!
| Griever08 chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
| oneortheother chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
Haha, I don't think I would call it 'obsessed', Tia.
I just think that it is a cute little thing for the girls to do, I wouldn't know from experience or anything but isn't that the kinda thing that girls did at slumber parties?
Thanks for the feedback! For better or for worse I'm glad to get some feedback (I think Ry is glad as well).
And glad you're happy to see Red X back doing what he does best. Doing what he likes!
If you like the speed of the update, I think you will be very happy with the next speedy addition, I've already sent the draft to Ry so just waiting for a green light from him now, Chapter 3 coming very soon!
The "Slade has an uncanny habit of coming back from the dead," I'm not sure I'd quite bet on that...
66.7% of the trilogy had Slade as the villain so I wouldn't bet on seeing that masked villain again...
Though a different masked villain is due to make an appearance soon...
Thanks for the review Tia, and thank you all for commenting, it is much appreciated!
-Oneortheother (yes, that is my pseudonym/name.)
| Tianimalz chapter 2 . 8/19/2009
You are obbessed with tickling? Aren't you? LOL.
Okay,, I promise my reviews shall be a little more calmer now. D A little if nothing else. Ahe,.
Okay, I really liked this one scene;
"Hey Terra, do you mind moving your feet a bit so that I can sit down?" Cleo asked her blonde friend. Terra shook her head.
“Nah. I'm quite comfortable like this." Terra replied with a small giggle, wiggling her toes playfully. “Plus, you guys tickled me so much just now, I think I deserve to get the couch...”
LOL, that is just so Terra, I really hate it when people take her out of character, and make her just this push-over really sweet type of girl... when she's not. Yeah, she's nice, and laughs a lot, but she's also rude and... loud, lol. So far I think you (oneortheother? that's your name right?) is doing a great job keeping in-character.
Something about Maria seemed a little off... not sure what it is, but she just seemed a little different then from the last fics, nothing big though, it just gave my over-active mind the idea it was really Madam Rouge or another shape shifter sent to set Sanza up into going out... bawawa.
Speaking of which, okay I gotta go a little crazy here.
THE WILSON'S! YAYAYAYAYAY! IT doesn't matter WHICH Wilson it is, I love them all, so YAY! If it has to do with the Wilson's. I'm psyched, besides the little after note, Slade has an uncanny habit of coming back from the dead.
I'm surprised to see Red X come out already, but happy about it all the same, the dude is hawwt. lol -shot- Anyways; I was wondering... if Sanza doesn't want to be caught being Red X, why doesn't he just make a PSA about the suit getting stolen? I mean... he lives in a every-day sorta apartment(Right? I forgot xD) why would it be hard to believe someone stole it while he was at school or with viable witnesses... it could be pretty easy to set up. Just a thought
Well, I'm really happy with this chapter, and even happier for the speed of its updation. First thing I did this morning was read it- now the animals are screaming at me to get my happy butt back up and feed them, lol. Sorry if this review was too short, bah.
Thanks for the quick update!
| oneortheother chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
Hey, thanks for the comments.
It sure is nice to see that people are grateful that I continued RySenkari's masterpiece.
I sadly do not have a fanfiction account, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop by DeviantArt account and maybe leave a few words, I love getting feedback good or otherwise(my account name is fittingly 'oneortheother'.
Anyway, thanks so much for the comments people! I've already sent chapter 2 to Ry so when he gives it the green light, up it goes!
Ry commented on the lack of action, as all of his previous installments in the trilogy had a ton of action in the first few bits.
But my style is a bit different, so I hope the action-junkies can wait till chapter 3 for those great action scenes!
And I just can't wait till the 'mysterious figure' arrives...
Glad for your support people!
| Griever08 chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
WOAH! I never expected this story to continue! I'm glad 'oneortheother' wrote this, and even more glad that you posted it! It means that you belive this writing to be worthy, and coming from a writer such as yourself, that's saying something. I really want to read more. I hope you post the next chapter soon!